Friday, June 30, 2006

Rotten Apple

There's trouble in Silicon Valley.
Apple Computer has launched an internal investigation after admitting it may have manipulated stock-option grants to benefit executives, including chief executive Steve Jobs.

The admission wraps Apple into the unfolding business scandal that is spreading to some of America's best-know companies. At least 60 have now disclosed possible stock option irregularities.

Investigators are trying to determine whether companies inflated the value of stock options awarded to senior executives by backdating or timing the grants to coincide with days when the stock price was low.
Rich, arrogant and stupid is no way to go through life, son...

Oil, Oil Everywhere

Oh hell yes, make this happen.
WASHINGTON-Congress has taken a major step toward allowing oil and gas drilling in coastal waters that have been off limits for a quarter-century.

Still, a battle looms in the Senate over the issue. And the Bush administration's support for the legislation, which was approved Thursday by a 232-187 vote in the House, is lukewarm.

The House bill would end an Outer Continental Shelf drilling moratorium that Congress has renwed every year since 1981. It covers 85 percent of the country;s coastal waters-everywhere except the central and western Gulf of Mexico and some areas of Alaska.

Rep. Richard Pombo (news, bio, voting record), R-Calif., a leading proponent for lifting the ban, said he believes a majority of the Senate wants to open the protected waters to energy companies.

Asked about White House opposition to some parts of the bill, especially a provision that would give tens of billions of dollars to states that have drilling rigs off their coasts, Pombo said, "I dare them to veto this bill."
It is high time for this moratorium to end. Lift it and we can tell Hugo Chavez and his ilk where to stick their pipelines.

All Shook Up

It's good to be the King-especially with fans like this.
MEMPHIS (Reuters)-President George W. Bush took devout Elvis fan Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi on a road trip to Graceland on Friday to pay homage to the King of Rock-n'-Roll, underscoring the allies' "Love Me Tender" bond.

Wrapping up a two-day summit with Koizumi that touched on the North Korean nuclear threat and world trade talks, the two leaders were ready for "A Little Less Conversation" as they boarded Air Force One to head to Memphis.

For Koizumi, 64, who shares a birthday with Elvis Presley and whose wavy hairstyle resembles that of the singer, the tour of Presley's Graceland mansion was the chance of a lifetime.
I'm sure the North Koreans were paying attention with Suspicious Minds. But That's All Right, because if they try to throw anything either Japan's or America's way we can just Return To Sender.

The More Things Change

When all else fails, resort to old standbys.
The new UN Human Rights Council voted Friday to make a review of alleged human rights abuses by Israel a permanent feature of every council session.

The resolution, which was sponsored by Islamic countries, was passed by a vote of 29-12, with five abstentions. It effectively revives a practice of the UN's dissolved Human Rights Commission, which also reviewed alleged Israeli abuses every time it met.

Israel protested Friday's vote, calling it a perpetuation of "the old infamous habits" of the widely discredited commission.
Looks like it's business as usual at the Useless Nations.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Ill Ink

The next time you get drunk and go get a tattoo, check with your doctor first.
NEW YORK (Reuters Health)-People who get tattoos from unlicensed sources are at risk of developing a drug-resistant bacterial skin infection, federal health officials warn.

Six recent outbreaks of infections with this "superbug," methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) have been traced to unlicensed tattoo artists, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

MRSA infection typically manifests as abscesses or areas of inflammation on the skin, though it can also lead to more serious problems such as pneunmonia, blood infections or, in some cases, necrotizing fasciitis, also referred to as the "flesh-eating disease."
You get a tattoo saying "Mother" or whatever, and you wind up losing your skin. Lovely, isn't it?

Who Would Jesus Sue?

Here we go again.
CHARLESTON, W.Va.-Two civil liberties groups sued in federal court Wednesday to remove a picture of Jesus that has hung in a high school for more than 30 years.

Americans United for Seperation of Church and State and the West Virginia American Civil Liberties Union say the painting, "Head of Christ," sends the message that Bridgeport High School endorses Christianity as its official religion.

"I frankly cannot understand why this school insists that it is doing nothing wrong," said the Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director of Americans United. "This is pretty clear constitutional law. Public schools cannot promote specific religious ideas."
So who said anything about promiting an official religion? And where were you while this painting has been hanging for the last thirty years? Once again, people who have way too much free time on their hands are trying to make life miserable for the rest of us.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

He Blinded Them With Fake Science

Gee, you'd think they had an ulterior motive, or something.
The June 27, 2006 Associated Press (AP) article titled "Scientists OK Gore's Movie for Accuracy" by Seth Borenstein raises some serious questions about AP's bias and methodology.

AP chose to ignore the scores of scientists who have harshly criticized the science presented in former Vice President Al Gore's move "An Inconvenient Truth."

In the interst of full disclosure, the AP should release the names of the "more than 100 top climate researchers" they attempted to contact to review "An Inconvenient Truth." AP should also name all 19 scientists who gave Gore "five stars for accuracy." AP claims 19 scientists viewed Gore's movie, but it only quotes five of them in its article. AP should also release the names of the so-called scientific "skeptics" they claim to have contacted.
Now, this couldn't be because the AP has an agenda, does it? Reporters with an agenda? Unthinkable!

Those Were The Days

Somebody should tell Mad How that nostalgia can only go so far.
America is about to revisit one of the most turbulant decades in its history, Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean told a religious conference in Washington, D.C> on Tuesday. "We're about to enter the 60's again," Dean said, but he was not referring to the Vietnam War or racial tensions.

Dean said he is looking for "the age of enlightenment led by religious figures who want to greet Americans with a moral, uplifting vision."

"The problem is when we hit that '60's spot again, which I am optimistic we're about to hit, we have to make sure that we don't make the same mistakes," Dean added.
Considering the way you and the other Demwits have been ranting about Iraq, I think it's a little late for that, Howie.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Frankenweenie On Film

For those who have absolutely nothing better to do, there's this for them to waste their time.
NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter)-"Al Franken: God Spoke," which follows the political humorist from his war with fellow commentator Bill O'Reilly to his fight for progressive candidates, will hit U.S. theaters just in time for the November elections.

Indie studio Balcony Releasing has acquired U.S. theatrical distribution rights to Nick Doob and Chris Hegedus' documentary and is planning a "platform" release that will publicly expand from New York in mid-September to 10 to 20 markets nationwide.

The film features such political heavyweights as Al Gore, Michael Moore, Sean Hannity, Henry Kissinger, Robert Kennedy Jr. and Karen Hughes as it tracks Franken's joke-filled journey from satirist to a potential candidate for political office.
So, how many children's charities did Frankenweenie steal from to make this cinematic masterpiece?

Excellence In Broadcasting

This is why Rush is still the King.
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla.-Radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh is joking about his police detainment at the airport yesterday for carrying Viagra in his liggage.

"I've been racking my brain. I'm trying to figure out how Bob Dole's luggage got on my airplane," Limbaugh clowned as he opened his national program today. "I told the doctor, I said, 'Look, I'm worried about the next election, not....' A misunderstanding. Now, things are what they are."

Former Sen. Bob Dole of Kansas is well known for his use and endorsement of Viagra, a male sexual-enhancement drug.
Personally, I don't see why Rush would need the stuff. He already has a pair of huge ones.

Monday, June 26, 2006

THC For Two

"Oh, I say, old chap. Would you care for a spot of tea?" "Delighted, old boy. Hold on, let me pour the bong water."
British health food shops will soon be offering customers iced cannabis tea, its Swiss distributor said.

Sold under the label "C-Ice Swiss Cannabis Ice Tea," the beverage contains five percent of hemp flower syrup and a tiny (0.0015 percent) quantity of THC, the active ingredient of marijuana.

Any ingredient that could put it in the drugs category has been removed and the tea will not lead to dependency.

But British anti-drug campaigners say that selling the tea is dangerous because it will give young people the impression that cannabis is commonplace.
If this catches on, for some Britons it will always be four o'clock. Cheerio, chaps!

Bury Me

Guess who doesn't think the public has a right to know.
The New York Times buried a report that the chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee was urging the Bush Administration to seek criminal charges against the newspaper for reporting on a secret financial-monitoring program used to trace terrorists.

As NewsMax reported on Sunday, Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y., blasted the Times' decision last week to report that the Treasury Department was working with the CIA to examine messages within a massive international database of money-transfer records.

King's call for a prosecution of the Times was a lead story on cable news shows, wire services like the Associated Press and major Internet sites like NewsMax.

Still, the Times on Monday decided to bury the story in an article about the National Security Agency's wiretap program.
Wow, you'd think they only wanted to report what they wanted people to hear. But that would be censorship, and only the Bush Regime does that sort of thing, right, liberals?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Girlyman Governator?

Ahnuld's reasoning continues to cause much head-scratching.
California Gov. Arnold Schwarzeneger is getting heat from pro-family activists for his plan to speak for the first time at a homosexual event, a Hollywood fund-raiser this week for the Log Cabin Republicans.

Though Schwarzenegger vetoed a same-sex marriage bill in September, he has otherwise signed every piece of pro-homosexual legislation to reach his desk.

The homosexual Log Cabin Republicans-which publicly parted company with President Bush after he supported a federal marriage-protection measure-have stood by Schwarzenegger, the Associated Press reported.
Don't kid yourself, Arnold. Chicks dig guys in black jackets and sunglasses.

Never Mind Mini-Me

Mutterin' Murtha just doesn't know when to quit.
MIAMI-American presence in Iraq is more dangerous to world peace than nuclear threats from North Korea or Iran, Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., said to an audience of more than 200 in North Miami Saturday afternoon.

Murtha was the guest speaker at a town hall meeting organized by Rep. Kendrick B. Meek, D-Miami, at Florida International University's Biscayne Bay Campus. Meek's mother, former Rep. Carrie Meek, D-Miami, was also on the panel.

War veterans, local mayors, university students and faculty were in the Mary Ann Wolfe Theatre to listen to the three panelists discuss the war in Iraq for an hour.
In other words, it was a gathering of intellectual equals...

Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Comeback Killer

Forget about Al Gore. He wants to have the biggest comeback of the year.
Saddam Hussein believes the Americans may reinstall him as president of Iraq, the NEW YORK TIMES is planning to report on Sunday, newsroom sources tell the DRUDGE REPORT.

Saddam Hussein has no illusions, his chief lawyer says. As he sits in his prison cell reading the Quran and writing poetry, he knows the inevitable is coming--a death sentence handed down by the Iraqi court trying him for crimes against humanity.

Yet Saddam refuses to submit to the fate that awaits him, Khalil al-Dulaimi, said, for he believes there is a way out:

President Bush will use the court's sentence as leverage to try and persuade Saddam to tamp down on the insurgency, he said, so desperate are the Americans to stanch their losses.
If Saddam really wants to be free, then he should try to stay alive until there's a Democratic administration. They'd hand the country over to him lock, stock and oil.

Get Behind My Campaign, Satan

Well, you have to admit, you don't hear this as an excuse very often.
SALT LAKE CITY-Republican congressional hopeful John Jacob believes the devil is impeding his efforts to unseat five-term Representative Chris Cannon.

He says there's another force that wants to keep him from going to Washington and the devil is what it is.

Jacob says that since he decided to run for Congress, Satan has disrupted his business deals, preventing him from putting as much money into the race as he had hoped.
Dude, your problem isn's Satan, I know that much.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Of Lies And Libel

Now this is the last guy to complain about fake news.
Former New York Times Executive Editor Howell Raines has leveled a shocking charge against Fox News: The leading cable news network makes up its stories.

In his new autobiography "The One That Got Away," Raines-who, ironically, resigned over made-up stories at the Times-writes: "Fox, by its mere existence, undercuts the argument that the public is starved for 'fair' news, and not just because Fox shills for the Republican Party and panders o the latest of America's periodic religious manias. The key to understanding Fox News is to grasp the anomalous fact that its consumers know its 'news' is made up.

"It matters not when critics point this out to Foxite consumers because they've understood it from the outset. That's why they're there."
I'm sure Jayson Blair and Dan Rather agree with you, Mr. Raines.

Miami Jihad

It's not the sort of thing Crockett and Tubbs used to deal with, that's for sure.
WASHINGTON (AP)-Seven young men arrested in an alleged plot against the Sears Tower were part of a group of "homegrown terrorists" who sought to work with al-Qaida but ended up conspiring with an informant, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said Friday.

Outlining an alleged plot to bomb the Sears Tower in Chicago and a federal building in Miami, Gonzales told a Justice Department news conference: "They were persons who for whatever reason came to view their home country as the enemy."

The seven individuals-ranging in age from 22 to 32-were indicted by a federal grand jury in Miami. Six were taken into custody in Miami Thurdsay when authorities swarmed a warehouse in the Liberty City area, removing a metal door with a blow torch. A seventh was arrested in America.
You'll notice that their religious affiliation is conspicuously absent from the article. Gee, I wonder what it was...

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Gimme Back My Bullets, Kofi

Personally I'm not buying this, as we have more to fear from our own gun-grabbing politicians.
NEW YORK-American gun owners have deluged the United Nations with tens of thousands of letters protesting a forthcoming conference that they fear will infringe on their right to bear arms-and on the July 4th holiday to boot.

Sri Lankan Ambassador Prasad Kariyawasam, who will preside over the two-week Small Arms Review Conference beginning Monday, says the timing is a coincidence. He also insists that the delegates will talk only about the illegal possession, manufacturing and transfer of weapons.

"I myself have received more than 100,000 letters from the U.S. public, saying you're having this meeting on the Fourth of July, and you will not take our guns away on that date," Mr. Kariawasam said yesterday.

"Some members of the U.S. public are totally misinformed," he added. "This conference is about illegal weapons."
I'm sure he's right. But we've seen what happens in Canada and the UK when people aren't allowed to defend themselves. Laws like theirs are the reason ther'es such a large illegal gun trade in the first place. But realizing that requires logic-something the U.N. isn't exactly famous for.

No Pork For Him

Aww, poor baby.
Saddam Hussein and his seven co-defendants have gone on a hunger strike to protest against the assassination of one of his main lawyers, the US military said.

A spokesman for detainee operations for the American military said Saddam began the strike after eating his breakfast on Thursday morning in a US-run prison.

He said former Saddam aides being held in the same prison started the strike on Wednesday morning.

Saddam, 69, previously went on hunger strike in February for a little under two weeks.
This time, I say let Saddam and his cohorts do the world a favor.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

AOLHell No, We Won't Let You Go

There's a reason AOL are regarded as the scum of the online universe.
One man's attempt to cancel his America Online account is reverbrating across the U.S. and world after the customer recorded the conversation and then posted it on his blog.

Vincent Ferrari tried to end his membership with AOL, but dealt with a company representative who apparently did not want to lose his business.

Ferarri had been told previously by others in the blogosphere that AOL customer service could be troublesome, so he recorded his conversation with a representative named John.

A partial transcript of the audio reveals the frustration Ferrari experienced as he simply wanted to end the five-year account.
Go read the whole thing. If there's a Hell, AOL is its service provider.

The Check Is In The Mail

It seems liberals are pretty free with with the idea of spending everybody else's money except with each other.
BOSTON, June 21 (Reuters)-Harvard is still waiting for software billonaire Larry Ellison to make good on a $115 million pledge, a year after he announced what would have been the largest single contribution in the university's history.

Harvard said on Wednesday it hasn't received a cent from the flamboyant founder and chief executive of software giant Oracle Corp. (ORACL.O: Quote, Profile, Research) and that shcool officials have spent months trying to reach him to discuss the matter-without success.

"Larry Ellison never paid us. The donation was never finalized," said Harvard spokeswoman Sarah Friedell.
Sorry, guys. You go begging for change from the devil, expect to get burned.

Hawking Fear

And speaking of being doomed, if the Big One doesn't get you, Mother Nature apparently will.
Beijing, China (AHN)-Speaking before an audience of 500 at a seminar in Beijing, the wheelchair-bound celebrity physicist Stephen Hawking warned that global warming might turn the Earth into a fiery planet.

Asked about the environment, Hawking, who suffers from a degenerative disease and speaks through a computerized voice synthesizer, said he was "very worried about global warming," adding that he was afraid that Earth "might end up like Venus, at 250 degrees centigrade and raining sulfuric acid."

According to the AP report, Hawking, who is an occasional visitor to China, was in Beijing to attend a conference on string theory, an area of physics that attempts to explain and model the universe.
Stephen Hawking may be a brilliant physicist, but when it comes to global warming it's sad to see him on the same planet that Al Gore is.

Shake, Rattle And Roll

We're doomed. Doomed!
LONDON (Reuters)-The southern end of the San Andreas fault near Los Angeles, which has been still for more than two centuries, is under immense stress and could produce a massive earthquake at any moment, a scientists said on Wednesday.

Yuri Fialko, of the Scripps Instituion of Oceanography at La Jolla, California, said that given average annual movement rates in other areas of the fault, there could be enough pent-up energy in the southern end to trigger a cataclysmic jolt of up to 10 meters (32 ft).

"The observed strain rates confirm that the southern section of the San Andreas fault may be approaching the end of the interseismic phase of the earthquake cycle," he wrote in the science journal Nature.
So if the Big One is finally coming, who will be the first to say it's Bush's fault?

Little Man

Meet Mini Me Jr.
North Korean leader Kim Jong-ll's son and heir apparent, Kim Jong-Chol, toured Germany earlier this month to see concerts by rock star Eric Clapton.

Fuji TV broadcast secretly filmed footage showing a man resembling Kim Jong-Chol accomapnied by his apparent girlfriend and several North Korean bodyguards.

The footage showed the man, about 170 centimeters tall and wearing blue jeans, taking pictures and attending the British pop artist's concert held in four German cities from June 3 to 7. He attended all of the four concerts in Frankfurt, Stuttgart, Leipzig, and Berlin Fuji TV said in the program, "New truth about North Korea's prince."

(Snip) Seoul's Chosun Ilbo newspaper said Jong-Chol traveled to France and other Eurpoean countries earlier this month to visit a hospital. John-Chol reportedly suffers from a rare illness that results in his body producing excessive amounts of female hormones.
It must run in the family. No wonder Lil' Kim is so ronery. It's tough to make friends when you have PMS all the time.

Give Riots A Chance

Hippies display stupidity in the forest.
CLARK-The Rainbow Familu peace gathering turned hostile Tuesday when a group of attendees began hurling rocks and sticks at law enforcement officers, U.S> Forest Service officials said.

The incident forced the officers to abandon a checkpoint they had established near the entrance to the rainbow gathering campsite in North Routt County, Forest Service spokeswoman Diann Ritschard said. Officers had not returned to the checkpoint as of Tuesday afternoon.

The incident happened at about 11 a.m. and involved Forest Service officers who were manning the checkpoint set up to issue citations to anyone attempting to enter the gathering. Citations were being issued because Rainbow Family members had not signed a free Forest Service special-use permit, which is required for gatherings of 75 or more people.
But I thought hippies believed in free stuff. See, this is what happens when you don't listen to Cartman.

Oh, Bother

Turkish children will now be safe from the horrors of Pooh.
The cartoon adaptation of A.A. Milne's classic "Winnie the Pooh" will not be seen in at least one nation. According to a Reuters article, the Islamist-rooted government of Turkey, which controls the nation's public television station TRT, has banned showings of the Disney cartoon from public airing...all because of Piglet!

Since pigs are considered unclean animals, and unfit for food, by Muslims, the presentation of even an animated version of the creature was considered a violation by the Turkish officials. Initially the station had considered editing the show, and snipping out the footage of piglet, but they soon realized how central a character he is as one of Pooh's closest friends, and how often his image appears in the reel.
Wait until these nutjobs find out about Porky. Th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!

Down Where The Buses Don't Run

Thanks to the ongoing incompetence and inability of Nattering Nagin, the National Guard is being sent to a quagmire.
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP)-Acting at the mayor's request, Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco said Monday she will send National Guard troops and state police to patrol New Orleans streets following a bloody weekend in which six people were killed.

"The senseless slaying of five teenagers this weekend is shocking," Blanco said in a statement. "Things like this should never happen, and I am going to do all I can to stop it."

One hundred National Guardsmen with law enforcement experience and 60 state police officers were to be sent to the city Tuesday. Up to 200 more troops would be deployed after that, said Denise Bottcher, the governor's spokeswoman.
Well, I'm sure they'll only stay until Nagin can get the city back to where it was during the good old days of corruption and mismanagement.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Madness Of Mini-Me

"Herro. Me name Kim Jon Il. Me have very smarr penis."
North Korea on Tuesday declared that it was not bound by a moratorium on testing long-range missiles, and increasing frears that it would launch an intercontinental ballistic missile.

The North Korean threat follows days of escalating tension prompted by evidence that Pyongyang is preparing to test a long-range Taepodong-2 missile that could reach Japan and parts of the continental US.

Ri Pyong Dok, a North Korean foreign ministry official, told Japanese journalists in Pyongyang that a long-range missile test launch "is not bound by any statement such as the Pyongyang Declaration," Kyoto news reported.

Mr. Ri was referring to an agreement signed in 2002 between Kim Jong Il, North Korea's leader, and Junichiro Koizumi, Japan's prime minister, in which Pyongyang promised not to test long-range missiles.
"And if any more of you reporters ask sirry questions rike this, I'm gonna feed you to da fishes rike I did Hans Brix! You have been warned!"

No Good News Is Great News

Let's see if the MSM give this the same amount of attention they give Haditha and Guantanamo. Personally, I'm not holding my breath.
WASHINGTON, June 20, 2006-Coalition forces in Iraq killed 15 terrorists and detained six other suspects and a senior terrorist leader during raids yesterday and today near Baqubah, military officials reported today.

Arriving in a planned raid today, coalition forces came under immediate small-arms fire from a rooftop, officials said. The ground force returned fire, killing nine armed terrorists on the rooftop, and supporting fire from coalition aircraft killed two more armed terrorists firing on coalition forces from beside the building.

Following this initial contact, officials said, coalition forces found 10 AK-47 assault riflesw, a shotgun, a pistol and a crate of explosives.

(Snip) Several women and children were present at the raid sites, officials said. None was harmed, and all were returned to their homes once the troops ensured the area was secure, they added.
I'm pretty sure the silence will be defeaning when it comes to this part, but hey, you've got John Murtha to tell you what's really going on in Iraq, right, guys?

Monday, June 19, 2006

Him So Ronery

Lil' Kim has a serious case of Little Dictator Syndrome.
The United States warned that a North Korean launch of a long-range missile would be a "provocative act" and began intensive diplomatic consultations on a response.

"There are reports they may be preparing for a long-range missile launch," said Defense Department spokesman Bryan Whitman.

"The United States government as a whole has been consulting with allies in the region and has made clear that a North Korean missile launch would be a provacative act," he said.
At this point I think even Kofi Annan is getting tired of sending Lil' Kim letters telling him how very, very angry he is.

Connie's Crackup

Connie should stick to her day job.
It's not especially newsworthy that Connie Chung and Maury Povich's Saturday program on MSNBC, which debuted in January, has been canceled. Perhaps no more newsworthy, but definitely more amusing, is that on the show's final episode this past weekend, Chung, as she danced on top of and around a piano, bade her audience farewell in song, to the tine of "Thanks for the Memories." (Hat tips: Drudge and NRO's The Corner.)

To be fair, Chung sings better than Elaine Benes danced. That said, watch this and you'll appreciate Bob Hope (not to mention Michelle Pfeiffer in The Fabulous Baker Boys) more than you ever did before.

Video
Well, if I had to work alongside Maury Povich I'd go nuts, too.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Chocolate Chumps

Now this is a sign of the End Times if there ever was one.
Nestle, the Swiss food giant, will announce today that it has agreed to pay about $600 million for Jenny Craig, the wight-loss company that has had a surprise turnaround in recent years as a result of an irreverent advertising campaign chronicling the slimming waistline of actress Kirstie Alley.

The deal is a bold gamble for Nestle, which is known for KitKat bars and Nesquick drink mix but less for its role in the $30 billion weight loss management industry. The deal is also a bet that consumers, for reasons of health and vanity, will continue trying to lose weight through prepackaged meals and motivational workshops, expecially as the nation is fighting an escalating obesity epedemic.
Yeah, because a KitKat bar is the first thing that comes to people's minds when they want to lose weight.

"I Want To Ride My Bicycle..."

Somehow, I don't think this is what Freddie Mercury had in mind.
Dozens on Saturday were slathering sunscreen where the sun doesn;t usually shine. Boulder residents participated in the third annual naked bike ride as part of World Naked Bike Ride, an international mass of cyclists who, each June, abandon their underwear to protest oil dependency while having some summertime fun.

"A guy (said) last night, 'why protest if you don't get noticed,'" said Scott Colburn, 39, who moderates the group's email list.

Wearing nothing but a topaz bicycling helmet and New Balance shoes, Colburn said, "this is a good way to get noticed.

The group-which "disorganizers" counted at 58 people, about three-quarters male-attracted applause, cheers, whistles and honks as they cruised down Pearl Street, through Eben G. Fine park and along the Boulder Creek Path.
Seriously, where's Cartman when you need him? Stupid hippies.

Yellow And Pink Don't Mix

I just hate it when couples fight.
Pravda, one of Russia's major national newspapers, reported last week that the French Communist Party (PCF) condemned violent attacks on marchers participating in Moscow's Gay Pride parade on May 27. The PCF has also severely criticized the Communist Party of the Russian Federation (CPRF) for participating in those attacks, according to Pravda.

Pravda described some of the attackers as "young communists and patriots." Among these "patriots" were about 1,000 of Moscow's polce along with hundreds of members of fascist gangs and religious extremist groups who had mobilized to stop the parade from taking place, according to a report by a parade participant which appeared in the UK Gay News as well as eyewitness accounts reported by major media outlets such as Reuters, CNN, and the BBC.

(Snip) French communists participated in the gay pride parade by invitation of its Moscow organizers. After the attacks, French communists condemned the actions of the attackers and accused the CPRF of siding with them. One French communist who participated in the march told Pravda, "Their contacts with fascist-oriented organizations discredit the party in the eyes of all European communists. It is a grand shame." PCF political bureau member Richard Sanchez reportedly characterized the CPRF as homophobic. "Being a communist and a homophobe at the same time is so typical of the Communist Pary of russia," Pravda quotes him as saying. Sanchez stated that it is impossible to be a Marxist-Leninist and uphold the ideals of the international communist movement and to be homophobic at the same time.
Considering that Communism and fascism share the same goals, I'm not surprised these guys got the boot. The sad thing is, they don't realize that communists and fascists are one and the same.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Dixie Chickens

The Dixie Sluts are still at it.
The Chicks can't hide their disgust at the lack of support they received from other country performers. "A lot of artists cashed in on being against what we said or what we stood for because that was promoting their career, which was a horrible thing to do," says Robison.

"A lot of pandering started going on, and you'd see soldiers and the American flag in every video. It became a sickening display of ultra-patriotism."

"The entire country may disagree with me, but I don't understand the necessity for patriotism," Maines resumes, through gritted teeth. "Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country...I don't see why people care about patriotism."
It's mutual. I don't see why anybody still cares about the Dixie Whores.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Victory 1, Defeatism 0

Following the Senate's lead, the House has given its own smackdown to Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry.
WASHINGTON-The House on Friday handily rejected a timetable for pulling U.S. forces out of Irag, culminating a fiercely partisan debate between Republicans and Democrats feeling the public;s apprehension about war and the onrushing midterm campaign season.

In a 256-153 vote that mirrored the position taken by the Senate earlier, the GOP-led House approved a nonbinding resolution that praises U.S. troops, labels the Iraq war part of the larger global fight against terrorism and says an "arbitrary date for the withdrawal or redeployment" of troops is not in the national interest.

"Retreat is not an option in Iraq," declared House Majority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio. "Achieving victory is our only option...We have no choice but to confront these terrorists, win the war on terror and spread freedom and democracy around the world."
Well, it sure beats what Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and John Kerry have been spreading.

Latte Loons

The Fat Nazis are going after snobs as well as slobs.
NEW YORK (Reuters)-Starbucks Corp. may be next on the target list of a consumer-health group that this week sued the operator of the KFC fried chicken restaurant chain for frying foods in oils high in harmful trans fat.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest said it is planning to campaign against the global cafe chain because of the increased risk of obesity, heart disease and cancer assoaciated with high-calorie, high-fat products it sells.

And the possibility of legal action against Starbucks, similar to the case it is taking against KFC owner Yum Brands Inc., has not been ruled out, said CSPI executive director Michael F. Jacobson.
Starbucks is part of the legitimate face of Dr. Evil's corporate empire. They don't know who they're messing with.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

New World Army

Shades of Nick Fury.
Crisis management experts are calling for the creation of a "United Nations army"-an international rapid reaction force that could be deployed within 48 hours to intervene in emergency situations around the globe.

Composed of up to 15,000 military, police and civilian staff, including medics, the proposed force would be recruited from professionals hired by the U.N. from many countries, and based at designated U.N. sites.

Its actions would be authorized by the U.N. Security Council, according to the Toronto Star.
Now, if they could only keep Captain America on board...

Let The Music Do The Talking

You may never leave your bathroom again.
It gives a completely new meaning to the phrase 'rock'n'roll'. For boffins have invented a cutting-edge gadget combining a portable music player and a toilet paper dispenser.

The state-of-the-art device-called an iCarta-makes it easier for people to listen to beats while using the bathroom.

It is designed, according to the US manufactureres, to "enhance your experience in the smallest room."
Let me say this again: Western technology rules.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

This Is Thunderdome

Hell hath no fury like a Presidential contender's wife scorned.
Former second lady Tipper Gore is urging her husband, Al, to challenge Hillary Clinton for the 2008 presidential nomination-in what may be a score-settling move against the woman Mrs. Gore has long regared as "difficult" and overly ambitious.

"If he were going to run in the future, of course I would support him," Mrs. Gore told ABC News' Claire Shipman on Tuesday. "I'd think he'd be a fantastic president. He already got a majority of votes of people in this country once, and so that says something."

Relations between Mrs. Gore and the first lady-turned-presidential front-runner have never been good. In 2001, Vanity Fair magazine quoted aides to the two women who said they basically despised each other.

"Hillary thinks that Tipper is an unintellectual, nice lady who doesn't have a brain in her head," a Clinton aide claimed. "Tipper thinks Hillary's an ambitious, rather uncoordinated, grasping, difficult woman," a Gore insider countered.
I'd start saving up on popcorn.

Big Time Or Bust

Have you had your fifteen minutes yet?

June 11, 2006-Look who's going small time.

Hungry to discover the next big talent, some of the nation's largest media outlets are now trolling Web sites favored by Internet video auteurs in hopes of discovering the next great-and profitable-idea.

And they're spreading around development deals worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

"We are actively looking to the Web for new talent and are in deal conversations with a lot of newbies-unknowns that we think can become geniuses at what they do," said Jim Moloshok, HBO's president of media ventures.

According to FX network president John Landgraf, a typical development deal for a scripted cable program can range from $40,000 to $100,000.

"Once a video goes viral, it's a calling card to get your foot in a network's door," said Landgraf, whose network forked over $400,000 to the creators of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," after viewing their $200 pilot.

So go to it, all you future Stephen Bochos. The Revolution will be televised!

Next!

Meet the new boss, dead as the old boss...
CAIRO, Egypt-An Egyptian associate of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi claims to have succeeded him as the new leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, even though an Islamic Web site said Monday that another man was in power.

Brig. Gen. Carter Ham said at a Pentagon news conference on Wednesday that Abu al-Masri, whose name surfaced shortly after reports of Zarqawi's death became widespread as a successor, had claimed to be in charge of Al Qaeda in Iraq.

"This individual said he is the successor for the leadership of Al Qaeda in Iraq," Ham said. "I think we'll have the intelligence effort in theater try to make that assessment if he is in fact exercising the leadership role in Al Qaeda in Iraq."
Sounds like Zarqawi will have more company soon.

Party Pooper

Turn out the lights, the party's over.
US President George W. Bush's triumphant return from his unannounced visit in Iraq found opposition Democrats more divided than ever on US policy in the wartorn country, and how best to capitalize on administration missteps there.

Republicans basked in the afterglow of the president's dramatic lightning visit Tuesday to meet with Iraq's new Prime Minister Nuri Maliki--an event likely to figure prominently in a dalyong debate Thursday in the House of Representatives on Iraq and the US "war on terror."

Bush's trip Tuesday followed last week's successes in Iraq, with the formation of the country's new unity government and the killing of Al-Qaeda in Iraq leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

But Democrats--who have disagreed about the war since the invasion more than three years ago--continued to be riven by internal dissent, particularly on the critical question of an exit strategy from Iraq.
Sounds like the Demwits are still stuck in same quagmire they've been in since 2000.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Uncle Richard Simmons Wants You!

Call it queer eye for the enemy guy.
The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say.

Other weapons that never saw the light of day include one to make soldiers obvious by their bad breath.

The US defence department considered various non-lethal chemicals meant to disrupt enemy discipline and morale.

The 1994 plans were for a six-year project costing $7.5m, but they were never pursued.

The US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, sought Pentagon funding for research into what it called "harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals."
On the one hand, it would have made enemy soldiers really love their uniforms. On the other, it would have made them extremely jealous that they were all wearing the same outfit.

The Fake Indian's Final Days?

While Ann's enemies are on the attack, let's see what happens to a real hatemonger.
Ward Churchill, the professor who called some of the World Trade Center victims "little Eichmanns," should be fired because of "repeated and deliberate" infractions of scholarship rules, a University of Colorado committee said today.

The recommendation, which came on a 6-3 vote, now goes to university officials for a final decision.

Churchill, a tenured professor of ethnic studies who has vowed to fight his dismissal with a lawsuit, "has committed serious, repeated, and deliberate research misconduct," the school's Standing Committee on Research Misconduct said in its final report.
See how that works out? Ann may be as un-PC as you can get but at least she's honest. But the left hates honesty, so they'll lionize this cretin and call Ann the Antichrist. Don't you just love how enlightened left-wingers are?

Space Is the Place

Get your ass to Mars!
HONG KONG (AP)-The survival of the human race depends on its ability to find new homes elsewhere in the universe because there's an increasing risk that a disaster will destroy the Earth, world-renowned scientist Stephen Hawking said Tuesday.

The British astrophysicist told a news conference in Hong Kong that humans could have a permanent base on the moon in 20 years and a colony on Mars in the next 40 years.

"We won't find anywhere as nice as Earth unless we go to another star system," added Hawking, who arrived to a rock star's welcome Monday. Tickets for his lecture planned for Wednesday were sold out.
Yeah, but what if somebody discovers a Fryhole and destroys the Universe?

And Bob Woodward Wept

So much for leakgate.
Top White House aide Karl Rove has been told by top prosecutors he won't be charged with any crimes in the investigation into the leak of a CIA officer's identity, his lawyer said Tuesday, lifting a heavy burden from one of President Bush's most trusted advisers.

Attorney Robert Luskin said that special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald informed him of the decision on Monday, ending months of speculation about the fate of Rove, the architect of Bush's 2004 re-election now focused on stopping Democrats from capturing the House of Senate in this November's elections.

Fitzgerald has already secured a criminal indictment against Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby.
I'm guessing Libby and Joe Wilson will be as far as this farce goes. Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the impeachment crowd commence.

Monday, June 12, 2006

It's All For Science

Now this is the type of research I wouldn't mind being a test subject for.
PORTLAND, Ore.-For many men, a finding by Oregon researchers sounds too good to be true: an ingredient in beer seems to help prevent prostate cancer, at least in lab experiements. The trouble is tou'd theoretically have to drink about 17 beers a day for any potential benefit. And no one's advising that.

Researchers at Oregon State University say that the compound xanthohumol, found in hops, inibits a protein in the cells along the surface of the prostate gland. The protein acts like a switch that turns on a variety of cancers, including prostate cancer.

Dr. Richard N. Atkins, CEO of the National Prostate Cancer Coalition, said the experiments are encouraging and "perhaps men could take it in pill form someday."
Who says Homer Simpson can't be a healthy role model? Long live beer!

Beating The Beast

Well, well, well. It looks like there are some chinks in the Clinton machine armor, after all.
Former U.S. Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina leads a list of potential Democratic presidential candidates while Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack holds fourth place, trailing Edwards by 20 points in an early test of support among likely Iowa caucus participants.

A new Iowa poll conducted for The Des Moines Register shows that Edwards, the runner-up in the Iowa Democratic caucuses two years ago and a frequent visitor to the state since then, is the choice of 30 percent of Iowans who say they are likely to take part in the January 2008 caucuses.

U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York follows on Edwards' heels with 26 percent in the Iowa Poll.

Experts say it's the first poll showing anyone besides Clinton as the preferred Democrat in the race for the White House.
So Hillary gets beat out by the Breck Girl. Expect more like this as Her Hillariness continues to follow the John Kerry path to flip-flopping failure.

Byrdbrain Babbles On

Well, this is a milestone, of sorts.
WASHINGTON-Robert C. Byrd became the longest serving U.S. senator in history Monday. And, with almost 48 years of service, he's not finished yet.

Byrd, D-W.Va., surpassed the record of Strom Thurmond, R-S.C., and has spend 17,327 days in the body, where he's the epitome of an old-school senator.

At 88, he's running for a record ninth term and is favored to win in November. Byrd is a political icon in the Mountain State, where he's known for his efforts each year to send hundreds of millions of federal dollars back home through his post on the powerful Approproations Committee.

(Snip) In many ways Byrd is out of synch with today's political scene, quoting from the Bible and citing Roman history in his speeches. He carries a copy of the Constitution in his breast pocket.

But his fervent opposition to the war in Iraq has earned him a following among young liberals disappointed with support of the war by prominent Democrats sych as Hillary Clinton of New York and 2004 presidential nominee John Kerry.

Of all of his more than 17,000 votes, Byrd says he is most proud of his 2002 vote in opposition to the Iraq war.

Still, his career has had some low poings. Byrd participated in an unsuccessful filibuster of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. As a young man, he joined the Ku Klux Klan, a mistake he has been saddled with since the early 1940s.
Well, I certainly don't consider him an icon. Robert KKK Byrd, burning the cross at both ends as my state's pork barrel king for nearly fifty years.

Harrassment In Havana

Uncle Fidel is throwing another temper tantrum.
WASHINGTON-The Cuban government cut off electricity to the U.S. diplomatic mission in Havana a week ago, and U.S. requests for power to be restored have gone unanswered, the State Department said Monday.

The facility has been operating with generator power.

Work at the mission continues, including interviews of refugees and outreach programs for the Cuban people, State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said.

"I would just say that the bullying tactics of the Castro regime aren't going to work," he added.
If this keeps up Hugo Chavez should take notes on how an invasion of a country run by a communist thug might actually work.

Soda Jerks

The Fat Police are on the warpath again.
Doctors will this week declare war on America's soft drinks industry by calling for a 'fat tax' to combat the nation's obesity epidemic.

Delegates at the powerful American Medical Association's annual conference will demand a levy on the sweeteners put in sugary drinks to pay for a massive public health education campaign.

They will also call for the amount of salt added to burgers and processed foods to be halved.
Maybe we need a second American Revolution-against these politically correct idiots who apparently never heard of free will.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Gutless In Jersey

Meet the latest version of liberal tolerance, brought to you by New York's toxic waste dump.
Two New Jersey Democrats are pushing to have Ann Coulter's new book "Godless: The Church of Liberalism," banned from all bookstores in their state because she criticized four 9/11 widows known as "the Jersey Girls."

In a joint press release issued Friday, New Jersey Assemblywomen Joan Quigly and Linda Stender say they want New Jersey retailers to "ban the sale of [Coulter's] book throughout the state."

"Ann Coulter's criticism of 9-11 widows, whose only desire since the attacks have been to repair their shattered lives and protect other families from the horrors they have experienced, is motivated purely by petty greed and hate," the two Democrats complained.
No, what Ann criticized was the way these women are using their status as 9-11 victims to attack President Bush and blame him for what happened. If these two chowderheads want to see petty, they should take a look in the mirror.

Taliban American Style

Sharia law, coming soon to a neighborhood near you.
A Mislim group is demanding that the Baltimore County school system remove Jewish holidays from the 2006-07 school calendar.

This demand comes after a nearly three-year battle between the Baltimore Muslim Council and the school system over adding two Islamic holy days, Id al-Fitre and Id al-Adha, to the school system.

Next school year's calendar, proposed May 10 and due to be voted on by the school board June 13, does not include the two holy days. But the calendar does list the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, meaning schools are closed those days.

Dr. Bash Pharoan, president of the Muslim council, said it is not fair for the county to recognize one religion while ignoring others. He said if the school board does not vote to allow the two Muslim holidays, then the Jewish holidays should be dropped.

"This issue is about equality, about equity," he said.
There is no crying in Islamofascism. There is, however, apparently plenty of whining.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Ann's New Birdcage Liner

Ann could squash these twits like the cockroachs they are.
Ann Coulter criticized four of the women whose husbands died on 9/11 and now a congressman from the New York/New Jersey area has written a scathing letter-signed by nearly two doezen other congressmen-to the author.

In Coulter's new book "Godless: The Curch of Liberalism," she wrote, "I've never seen people enjoying their husband's deaths so much," and that the four were "reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by giref-arazzis."

In response, House Democrats from Long Island and New York City have signed their names to a letter drafted by Rep. Steve Israel (D-Hungtington) demanding that Coulter apologize.
As John Wayne once said, "Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness." I hope Ann tells these hacks to take their letter and stick it where the sun don't shine.

There Is No Substitute For Defeatism

Guess who's the most unhappy that Zarqawi is now spending eternity as a charcoal briquette.
"Peace Mom" Cindy Sheehan said Friday that she's troubled by the death of al-Qaida's top operational terrorist, Abu Musab al Zarqawi, predicting that it will actually make things worse for U.S. troops in Iraq.

"I suspect it's going to make the insurgency in Iraq worse," she told Cincinnati, Ohio's 9News.

The peace crusader added that the expected increase in violence "will just prove to me that our presence in Iraq is just fueling the violence, fueling the insurgency."

"The killing and the cycle of violence has to stop," Sheehan insisted.
It will when the terrorists are dead, you lunatic hag.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Toga, Toga, Toga

"Bluto's right. Psychotic...but absolutely right. We have to take these bastards."
Hanover-Police spent five hours yesterday searching Alpha Delta fraternity house on East Weelock Street near Dartmouth College.

One person was arrested for possession of a controlled substance. But police said in a press release that the arrest was "ancillary" to the main investigation. Hanover police did not release the name of the man arrested and said the substance was "likely marijuana."

Hanover Police Chief Nick Giaccone said the department obtained a search warrant yesterday morning in Lebanon district Court, using information gleaned from an investigation launched in October 2004 involving an incident at the fraternity.
"Nothing is over until WE say it's over! Come on! Let's go!!"

When Crackpots Collide

These clowns aren't exactly what I would call the best messengers for something like this.
It's been stated that politics makes strange bedfellows. The same could be said about the Internet.

The conservative Christian Coalition has joined forces with the left-wing MoveOn.org to launch a campaign to ensure what it calls "Internet freedom."

In a full-page ad in the New York Times, a group called SavetheInternet,com-which includes the Christian Coalition and MoveOn.org as well as Gun Owners of America and many other organizations-warns:

"Internet operators like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast want Congress to permanently eliminate "Net Neutrality," the Internet freedom that prevents these companies from deciding which Web sites open easily on your computer. It's a plan to erect tollbooths on the information superhighway. As organizations dependent on a free Internet to speak with our members and with the world, we adamantly oppose the elimination of Net Neutrality."
These two should get along famously as they're both equally nuts.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

From Out Of The Mouths Of Crybabies

Zarqawi's corpse isn't even cold yet.
Some Democrats, breaking ranks from their leadership, today said the death of terrorist leader Abu Musab Zarqawi in Iraq was a stunt to divert attention from an unpopular and hopeless war.

"This is just to cover Bush's [rear] so he doesn't have to answer" for Iraqi civilians being killed by the U.S. military and his own sagging poll numbers, said Rep. Pete Stark, California Democrat. "Iraq is still a mess--get out."

Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich, Ohio Democrat, said Zarqawi was a small part of "a growing anti-American insurgency" and that it's time to get out.

"We're there for all the wrong reasons," Mr. Kucinich said.
On the other hand, these clowns are considered loons for all the right reasons.

Rated "R" For Religion

By these peoples' definition, the Ten Commandments should be X-rated.
The Motion Picture Association of America is crystal clear when it describes why its "PG" rating exists-it's a warning flag.

"The theme of a PG-rated film may itself call for parental guidance," states the online explanation of the rating system. "There may be some profanity in these fims. There may be some violence or brief nudity...The PG rating, suggesting parental guidance, is thus an alert for examination of a film by parents before deciding on its viewing for children. Obviously such a line is difficult to draw."

Disagreements are a given. The Christian moviemakers behind a low-budget film called "Facing the Giants" were stunned when the MPAA pinned a PG rating on their gentle movie about a burned-out, depressed football coach whose life-on and off the field-takes a miraculous turn for the better.

"What the MPAA said is that the movie contained strong 'thematic elements' that might disturb some parents," said Kris Fuhr, vice president for marketing at Provident Films, which is owned by Sony Pictures. Provident plans to open the film next fall in 380 theaters nationwide with the help of Samuel Goldwyn Films, which had worked with indie movies like "The Squid and the Whale."

Which "thematic elements" earned this squeaky-clean movie its PG?

"Facing the Giants" is too evangelistic.

The MPAA, noted Fuhr, tends to offer cyrptic explanations for its ratings. In this case, she was told that it "decided that the move was heavily laden with messages from one religion and that this might offend people from other religions. It's important that they ysed the word 'proselytizing' when they talked about giving this movie a PG....

"It is kind of interesting that faith has joined that list of deadly sins that the MPAA board wants to warn parents to worry about."
Of course, the real problem for the filmmakers is that the coach didn't go insane and go on a bloody rampage before tearfully taking his own life at the end of the movie. Then it still would have had a PG rating, but it would also have gotten an Oscar nomination.

In Memorium

As expected, not everybody is pleased that their favorite insurgent has bitten the dust.
Grass-roots Democrats weighing in on several popular liberal Web sites Thursday morning said that they were troubled by reports that al Qaida's top operational terrorist, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, had been killed in a U.S. air strike.

Reacting to the news, one visitor to the Daily Kos complained that using military force to kill Zarqawi "violates everything my America stands for."

"It violates the rule of law and invokes the rule of force in what should be a criminal, not a military, matter."

Another Daily Kos'er was irked because he thought the news would benefit President Bush:

"No doubt Karl Rove will have the sock puppet president acting as if he personally dropped the bomb that killed that jackass," he wrote. "But other than a couple of photo ops of Bush looking cocky, it does nothing because two more tin-plated Zarqawi's will pop up."
These are the Democrats' constituents. And they wonder why they keep losing elections.

Zarqawi Zapped

All of the networks are reporting now that yes, Zarqawi is a pap smear.
BAGHDAD, Iraq-Al-Qaida in Iraq leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was killed overnight in an operation by U.S. Special Operations Forces, U.S. military officials told NBC News on Thursday.

ABC News reported that he was killed in a U.S. air attack on a house in Baghdad.
If you see Osama down where you are, tell him we send our regards, you SOB.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Al Gore's Vanishing Act

How do you know when your movie sucks? When you're not listed in it.
Former Vice President Al Gore's name is nowhere to be found on PARAMOUNT'S poster campaign for the new 'global warming' movie 'AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH.'

Gore's name is not freatured on the dramatic poster promoting the movie--a poster which welcomes moviegoers at the nation's theateres!

"It's not a political move," a top source at PARAMOUNT explained, offering no other explanation on why Gore's name does not appear, even in the film's credits on the poster.
Typical leftie move-shoot your mouth off first, and then try to distance yourself from it as much as you can.

Beauty Versus The Beast

Ann puts the Plantation Queen back in her place.
Conservative author Ann Coulter is firing back at Sen. Hillary Clinton, after the former first lady attacked her for being "vicious [and] mean-spirited" towards a group of pllitically active 9/11 widows.

"I think if she's worried about people being mean to women she should have a talk with her husband," Coulter told radio host Sean Hannity, who was hosting a book signing for the conservative firebrand on Long Island.

"This is, I remind you, Bill Clinton's wife," Coulter added. "[And I'm the one who's] mean to women?"

Earlier in the day, Mrs. Clinton complained about Coulter's attacks on the Jersey Girls, a group of 9/11 widows who blamed President Bush for the attacks that killed their husbands and who campaigned for John Kerry in 2004.
Methinks Mrs. Clinton needs to take a closer look at the company she keeps. Of course, she could just say that Ann was part of the "Vast right-wing conspiracy" that cost Lurch the election.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Whackos From Waikiki

How do you say "asinine" in Hawaiian?
The U.S. Senate is scheduled to begin debate as early as tomorrow on the misleadingly named Native Hawaiian Government Reorganization Act of 2005 (S.147). The proponents of this bill, some motivated by seemingly benign purposes and others by a desire to benefit from superficial preferrences, argue that it redresses ancient wrongs done to early Hawaiians by various poers, including the United States.

The bill purports to authroize the creation of an exclusively race-based government of "native" Hawaiians to exercise sovereignity over native Hawaiians living anywhere in the United States. This "Native Hawaiian Government" could aalegedly exempt these Hawaiians from whatever aspects of the U.S. Constitution and state authority it thought undesirable. Not only is this a terrible idea; it is also unconstitutional.
If a group of white politicians from, say, Alabama or Mississippi proposed something like this, they'd be slammed as racists and rightly so. Why should a group of Hawaiians with a pineapple up their butts be treated any differently?

Girl Power

Ann Coulter kicks Matt Lauer's ass.
While considerable attention focuses on Ann Coulter's more superficial charms, from a conservative perspective Ann;s real beauty is her absolute refusal to buy into liberal logic, no matter how pervasive. That independence of mind was on display this morning during her "Today" interview with Matt Lauer. Ann was on to tout her new book, Godless: The Church of Liberalism, released today on...6/6/6-sign of the devil and all that. [See today's open thread.]

The first example came in the context of President Bush's current push for a constitutional amendment that would prohibit gay marriage. The liberal mantra on his initiative, as exemplified by Ann Curry's performance on yesterday's Today, is that this is a cynical political ploy and a waste of time when there are myriad 'real' issues out there to be addressed.

Right out of the box, Lauer invited Ann to buy into that logic:

"David Gregory said if you ask people what they care about they say Iraq and gas prices, Gay marriages are way down on the list, but that;s what the president is talking about and what the Senate is taking up. Why?"

Coulter would have none of it:

"I don't know what people are talking about or how and David Gregory knows that. But I do know that gay marriage amendments have been put on the ballots in about 20 states now and passed by far larger numbers than Bush won the election by."
I'd say Matt is still feeling the pain where Ann kicked him, but he doesn't have anything down there.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Road Warrior Rx

Excuses, excuses.
CHICAGO-A new study suggests as many as 16 million people suffer from an actual disease that contributes to road rage.

A Univeresity of Chicago expert said most people think enraged drivers just need an "attitude adjustment." But experts now think there's a "biology and cognitive science" to some of the bad behavior behind the wheel.

A study released in the Archives of General Psychiatry says not everyone who leans on the horn or throws things around suffers from intermittent explosive disorder. But when it does occur, doctors say, the pattern of angry outbursts starts showing up around age 14.
Funny, that's also the age when teenagers are often at their most obnoxious. So is puberty a disease, too?

Gangsta Bush?

Lurch is on the attack, and he's not mincing words.
Failed presidential candidate John Kerry blasted President Bush on Thursday as a "criminal" who has been "looting the country."

The Massachusetts Democrat offiered the incendiary comments during an off the record meeting with liberal bloggers after a speech in Los Angeles to the Pacific Council on International Policy.

According to the Web site L.A. Observed, Kerry asked the bloggers to keep his comments confidential, a request they apparently dismissed out of hand without telling him.
I'm not surprised. Most of the country has dismissed Kerry out of hand, too.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Crusaders Vs. Jihadists

Where's Churchill when you need him?
Following warnings by extremist Islamic group al-Muhajiroun, in which the group said that the red cross in the England flag symbolizes the 'blood thirsty crusaders' and the occupation of Muslims, some of the largest companies in England have ordered their workers not to wave the flags.

The flag has recently appeared in Emgland on everything from bikinis to cars, and sold in endless versions in stores.

But the Islamic protest forced some corporations, such as cable companies NTL, Heathrow airport in London, and even the Drivers and Vehicles Licensing Agency to ban the flag in every form due to fears from reactions of Muslims.
Meanwhile, the rest of Britain said, "Bite me."

Bubba Stays Busy

The Bent One is back in action.
Billionaire Belinda Stronach insists there is nothing true about the rumors she and former President Clinton are having an affair, adding that it's all a Republican plot.

The ultra-wealthy member of Canada'a parliament, who switched from the Conservative to the Liberal party, told the Montral Gazette that the rumors upset her and she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry about the global hullabaloo over her alleged role as Clinton's latest squeeze.

Echoing Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's allegation of a "vast right-wing conspiracy," Stronach told the Gazette she suspects the rumors have been spread by Republicans.

But it wasn't Republicans who reported last year that she was spotted all over NewYork with Clinton last year-it was the media.
Lady, if I were you, I'd be very careful around that guy. You don't know where his has been.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

From Chavez With Love

Castro Jr. says a fellow cockroach isn't such a bad guy once you get to know him.
President Hugo Chavez brought up Carlos the Jackal during a meeting of oil producers Thursday, calling the Venezuela-born terrorist who once took hostages at an OPEC meeting "a good friend."

Carlos, whose real name is llich Ramirez Sanchez, gained notoriety during the Cold War for staging a string of bombings and assassinations. He is serving a life sentence for murder in France.

Chavez recalled in his speech how Ramirez once in a letter referred to the Venezuelan leader's 1999 tour of OPEC member states.

He said Carlos, "a good friend," said in the missive from prison that the tour appeared "hair-raising."
Don't worry, Hugo. You and Carlos will one day get to spend all eternity together reminiscing about the good old days while getting turned over a spit in Hell.

The Enemy At Home

The Canadians have bagged some nasty characters.
Canadian police foiled a homegrown terrorist attack by arresting 17 suspects, apparently inspired by al-Qaida, who obtained three times the amount of explosives used in the Oklahoma City bombing, officials said Saturday.

The FBI said the Canadian suspects may have had "limited contact" with two men recently arrested on terrorism charges in Georgis. About 400 regional police and federal agents participated in the arrests Friday and early Saturday.

"These individuals were allegedly intent on committing acts of terrorism against their own country and their own people," Prime Minister Stephen Harper said in a statement. "As we have said on many occasions, Canada is not immune to the threat of terrorism."
Good work, Mounties. Have a brew on us.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Watch Out For The Blob

Isn't this how every sci-fi/horror movie starts? One minute a naive scientist is playing around with something in his lab, the next it's swallowing Cincinnatti...
As bizzare as it may seem, the sample jars brimming with cloudy, reddish rainwater in Godfrey Louis's laboratory in southern India may hold, well, aliens.

In April, Louis, a solid-state physicist at Mahatma Gandhi University, published a paper in the prestigious peer-reviewed journal Astrophysics and Space Science in which he hypothesizes that the samples--water taken from the mysterious blood-dcolored showed that fell sporadically across Louis's home state of Kerala in the summer of 2001-contain microbes from outer space.

Specifically, Louis has isolated strange, thick-walled, red-tinted cell-like structrues about 10 microns in size. Stranger still, dozens of his experiments suggest that the particles may lack DNA yet still reproduce plentifully, even in water superheated to nearly 600 degresst Farenheit. (The known upper limit for life in water is about 250 degrees Farenheit.)
I wouldn't worry unless he's found some funny oversized pods on his property, too. Paging Fox Mulder...

"You Say Corruption, I Say Contribution"

Bubba loves Chinese, and not just for dinner.
The CEO of a Chinese company that paid former President Bill Clinton a $200,000 honorarium for a 30-minute speech in May 2002 has played a prominent role in the government of Communist China.

Sen. Hillary Clinton's Senate financial discolsure forms state that her husband was paid the money by dnmStrategies on behalf of the JingJi Real Estate Development Group to give a speech on May 23, 2002, in Shenzhen, People's Republic of China. DnmStrategies produces and manages all of BusinessWeek magazine's events in Asia.

BusinesWeek spokeswoman Kimberly Quinn told Human Events that JingJi is a private real estate company in Shenzhen/Southern China and that a man named Chen Hua is its CEO.
Bubba didn't have to go to all that trouble. Al Gore knows some Chinese "Bhuddists" who would have been glad to help out.

The Chinese Connection

Yahoo is up the Yellow River without a paddle.
LONDON (Reuters)-The union representing journalists in the UK and Ireland called on its 40,000 members to boycott all Yahoo Inc. products and services to protest the Internet company's reported actions in China.

The National Union of Journalists said it sent a lettere on Friday to Dominique Vidal, Yahoo Europe's vice president, denouncing the company for allegedly providing information to Chinese authorities about journalists. The union also said it would stop using all Yahoo-operated services.

Yahoo has been cited in court decisions as supplying China's government with information to help them identify, prosecute and jail writers advocating democracy.
In response, Yahoo competitor Google said, "They're not that pro-Communist. That's our job."

Protest For Thee, But Not Not For Me

Free speech doesn't apply to everyone when it comes to student protests.
A California student has filed a federal lawsuit claiming high school officials intentionally interfered with his right to speak out on the issue of illegal immigration.

Joshua Denhalter of Jrupa Valley High School in Mira Loma, Calif., alleges he was barred from holding a counter-protest after students March 27, mostly of Mexican-American descent, illegally walked out of school in protest of legislation in the U.S. House of Representatives that would make being in the country illegally a felony.

Denhalter, represented by the public interest firm Lively, Ackerman & Cowles, says that instead of alking out and being truant, he chose to organize a legitimate and lawful counter-protest during the lunch hour March 30.
Of course, if he'd organized an antiwar protest where kids were burning American flags, there wouldn't have been any problem at all.

Greenspeechless

If you're going to make a statement, at least be prepared.
The environmental activist group Greenpeace wanted to be prepared to counter President Bush's visit last week to Pennsylvania to promote his nuclear energy policy.

"This volatile and dangerous source of energy" is no answer to the country's energy needs, shouted a Greenpeace fact sheet, decrying the "threat" posed by the reactors Bush visited in Limerick.

But after that assertion, the Greenpeace authors were apparently stumped while searching for the ideal menacing metaphor.

"In the twenty years since the Chernobyl tragedy, the world's worst nuclear accident, there have been nearly [FILL IN ALARMIST AND ARMAGEDDONIST FACTOID HERE]," the sheet said.
Well, at least they were being honest about the "Alarmist" part.

Schumer The Sniper?

At least Pelosi is only talking impeachment.
In an outrageous remark that has at least one Republican calling for his resignation, New York State Comptroller Alan Jevesi said Thursday that a fellow New York Democrat would "put a bullet between the president's eyes if he could get away with it."

Introducing Sen. Charles Schumer at commencement exercises at New York City's Queens College, Hevesi began:

"This man who, how do I phrase this diplomatically, who will put a bullet between the president's eyes if he could get away with it. The toughest senator, the best representative. A great, great member of the Congress of the United States."

Hours later, Hevesi was forced to issue an apology.
I know going off the deep end is the popular thing for Democrats to do these days, but how crazy do you have to be to make Chuck Schumer look sane?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

What Would Skynet Do?

Arnold sees the light, such as it is.
Gov. Arnold Schawrzenegger agreed Thursday to send the California National Guard to the Mexican border, ending a 17-day standoff with the Bush Administration, a Schwarzenegger spokesman said.

The two sides had been at odds over whether California Guardsmen would join the effort to bolstet the Border Patrol and who would pay for it.

They reached an agreement under which California will contribute about 1,000 Guardsmen and the federal government will pick up the full cost, said Schwarzenegger spokesman Adam Mendelsohn.
Now, if they sent a few T-800s down there, our problems would be over very quickly.

Kiss Your Species Goodbye

I'll bet this left a mark...
COLUMBUS, Ohio-Planetary scientists have found evidence of a meteor impact much larger and earlier than the one that killed the dinosaurs-an impact that they believe caused the biggest mass extinction in Earth's history.

The 300-mile-wide crater lies hidden more than a mile beneath the East Antarctic Ice Sheet. And the gravity measurements that reveal its existence suggest that it could date back about 250 million years-the time of the Permian-Triassic extinction, when almost all animal life on Earth died out.

It size and location-in the Wilkes Land region of East Antarctica, south of Australia-also suggest that it could have begun the breakup of the Gondwana supercontinent by creating the tectonic rift that pushed Australia northward.
File this one under "Yikes!", "OMG!", and "Holy Crap!"

Stupid White Filmmakers

Oh, yeah.
BOSTON (Reuters)-A U.S. war veteran who lost both arms in Iraq has sued Oscar-winning director Michael Moore for $85 million, saying television clips were used without his permission in the anti-war documentary "Farenheit 9/11" and gave a false impression that he opposed the war.

Sgt. Peter Damon, 33, a supporter of President George W. Bush and the Iraq war, claims Moore misused the footage to portray him "in a false light" and as "disagreeing with the president about the war effort and as disagreeing with the war effort itself."

"It was kind of almost like the enemy was using me for propaganda. What soldier wants to be involved in that?" Damon told CBS's local television news affiliate. "I didn't lose my arms over there to come back and be used as ammunition against my commander-in-chief."
Here's hoping others step forward and Fat Bastard will be reduced to begging for spare cheeseburger money in the street.

Big Bad John

This is why I like this guy.
Three possibilities loom regarding Iran's nuclear program, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton told Neil Cavuto on Fox News' "Your World" program.

"There is the possibility of diplomatic negotiations with Iran, if they show they're serious...we have the Security Council, with potential economic sanctions, and we have the activity that we can engage in without Security Council approval-the president's 'proliferation Security initiative' to deny Iran sensitive materials and technology, the financial pressure that we can apply, and the support for the democracy movement in Iran."

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wednesday that the U.S. is willing to join in face-to-face talks with Iran over its nuclear program.
Bolton made it clear that President Bush wants to find a diplomatic solution to the Iran situation, but that we are nearing the end game. "I think it's important that [Iran] take a very careful look at what Secretary Rice laid out...because it really is their last chance, in many respects," Bolton told Cavuto.
And, unlike the U.N., there won't be any memos or letters telling Iran how angry we are when they blow it.