Welcome To The Machine

The Greeks-history's original nerds.

After a century of study, scientists have unlocked the secrets of a mysterious 2,100-year-old device known as the Antikythera mechanism, showing it to be a complex and uncannily accurate astronomical computer.

The bronze-and-iron mechanism, recovered in more than 80 highly corroded fragments from a sunken Roman ship in 1901, could predict the positions of the sun and planets, show the location of the moon and even forecast eclipses.

The international team of scientists reported today that the 1st century BC Greek device, the earliest known example of an arrangement of gear wheels, shows a technological sophistication that was not seen again until clockwork mechanisms were introduced in the 14th century.

I wonder if there was an ancient equivelant to the Mac, so its users could make fun of the Antikythera users...

Throw Danny Off The Train

Louie DePalma is the latest to suffer from Kramer-itis.

NEW YORK (AP)-An especially colorful appearance on "The View" bu Danny DeVito has eyebrows raised and tongues wagging that the veteran actor may not have been himself Wednesday morning.

DeVito said he'd been drinking with George Clooney the night before, and that "it was the last seven Limoncellos that were going to get" him.

Questions really started to come up when DeVito went into a Three Stooges act to describe President Bush. And when Rosie O'Donnell asked if he'd been to sleep yet, she answered for him, "Not really." Then DeVito said "No."

Well, I have to be honest-if I had to sit with those skanks on The View I'd probably drink beforehand, too.

Jagged Little Pill

Quite frankly, I don't blame them.

Attention ladies: Don't expect your guy to take over Pill-popping duties anytime soon.

Monday's news of a potential male contraceptive pill in development at a British university, boldly emblazoned across the top of Drudge Report online, was met with extreme skepticism among New York doctors-and sheer terror among New York men.

"This Pill sounds way too scary," says Matt, a 25-year-old entertainment executive. "I can't imagine anyone I know taking it. I know I wouldn't."

If women want to feminize and castrate men thery're going to have to do it the old-fashioned way-marry them.

Moonbat Over Miami

The left may have wingnuts aplenty (see below), but the right is catching up.

WASHINGTON-Florida Gov. Jeb Bush called a Colorado congressman "a nut" Wednesday after the fellow Republican likened MIami to a Third World Country.

"What a nut," Bush told reporters in Tallahassee. "I'm just disappointed. First of all, he's from my own party. He's a Republican. He doesn't represent my views or the views of most Republicans in this state.

"Miami is a beautiful place...I love Miami," Bush said. "It's insulting for someone who really doesn't know the community, its heartbeat, to say those things."

The public spat began 10 days ago when U.S. Rep. Thomas Tancredo was attending a gathering of conservative activists at The Breakers in Palm Beach and said in an interview with WorldNetDaily, a conservative online newspaper: "Look at what has happened to Miami. It has become a Third World country.

"You just pick it up and and take it and move it someplace. You would never know you're in the United States of America. You would certainly say you're in a Third World Country."

Eat your heart out, Pat Buchanan...

Drive To The Head Of The Class

Our schools are turning into game shows.

CASPER, Wyoming-Public schools often reward excellent attendance with movie tickets, gas vouchers and iPods. But some United States students are now hitting the ultimate teenage jackpot: They have won cars or trucks just for going to school.

Last spring, 16-year-old Kaylie Christopherson won a brand-new $28,000 pickup truck, with an MP3 player, for near-perfect school attendance.

"I take it everywhere," the high school junior said.

School districts in several states are now giving away vehicles, which usually are awarded through drawings open only to students with good attendance.

Man, if I were a high school student today-I could have had sex with a hot teacher, and gotten a set of wheels out of it, too.

Keep To The Left

Yech. You know what really stinks about the Bush administration? It's allowed idiots like this guy to gain a national audience.

His views described as democratic socialist underscore tension in the new Democratic-controlled Congress between urges to confront and investigate President George W Bush's administration and to govern from the middle while refraining from the most controversial elements of the liberal agenda.

But Sanders, who eschews the polished, made-for-television style of dress and appearance often favored by Washington's elite for the rumpled look of a distracted professor, said he sees his role as an agitator for dramatic reforms and investigations.

"We also need to answer questions about Haliburton, no bid contracts, Katrina," he said. "We need to ask questions about the connection between the pharmaceutical industry and the writing of the prescription drug Medicare bill."

"The American people are entitled to answers about the behavior of the most reactionary and incompetent administration in modern American history," he said.

No, what they need answers to is why nimrods like you will be any better. I'm betting you won't.

The Iranian Connection

Well looky here.

WASHINGTON, Nov. 30, 2006-U.S. officials say they have found smoking-gun evidence of Iranian support for terrorists in Iraq: brand-new weapons fresh from Iranian factories. According to a senior defense official, coaliton forces have recently seized Iranian-made weapons and munistions that bear manufacturing dates in 2006.

This suggests, say the sources, that the material is going directly from Iranian factories to Shia militias, rather than taking a roundabout path through the black market. "There is no way this could be done without (Iranian) government approval," says a senior official.

Hey, Abby Dinnerjacket-we have a few munitions of our own we'd like to show you...

"We'll Take It From Here"

It looks like this thing is coming to a close whether Bush wants to admit it or not.

Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki said Thursday he believed Iraq forces would be ready by June 2007 to take full control of security in Iraq, an issue on which he pressed President Bush during their meeting in Amman, Jordan.

In making the argument that his military and police could handle security in the country, al-Maliki has routinely said the force could do the job within six months.

"I can say that Iraqi forces will be ready, fully ready to receive this command and to command its own forces, and I can tell you that by next June our forces will be ready," al-Maliki said in an interview with ABC News.

Well, I wish them luck if and when it happens, and the next time we invade somebody's country I hope we have an actual plan in place so we don't screw things up too much for the people in that country.

I Am God Here

Hey, Kids! Someday you, too, can build your own universe for fun and profit!

Is this a joke? No, say a bunch of physicists. One day, it may be possible for a person to create a universe!

This is not going to happen tomorrow. Not even close. But according to Columbia University physics professor Brian Greene, it is theoretically not impossible (which is his way of saying the possibilities are not zero) that one day, a person could build a universe.

The very idea is so startling it's hard to know what this means.

Think about it this way: One day (far off, no doubt), it may be possible to go into a laboratory on Earth, create a "seed"--a device that could grow into a universe--and then there would have to be a way to get that seed, on command, to safely expand into a separate, infinite, unexplorable but very real alternate universe.

If I ever get to be a god, I want my potential worshippers to know that it's not my fault if they screw things up.

Everybody's Been Burned

And the plot thickens.

LONDON (AP)-Officials found traces of radiation on two British Airways jets, and the airline appealed to tens of thousands of passengers who flew to Moscow or other cities to come forward-the latest twist in the inquiry into the poisoning death of a former Russian spy.

The airline said the "risk to public health is low," adding that it was in the process of contacting tens of thousands of passengers who flew on the jets.

Two planes at London's Heathrow Airport tested positive for traces of radiation and a third jet was taken out of service in Moscow awaiting examination, British Airways said.

Uncle Putin had better have a good explanation for this one if those people get sick.

What It Is, Is...

Along with Newt Gingrich, we have another one a' them durn librul America haters.

DUBAI (Reuters) Former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell said on Wednesday Iraq had descended into civil war and urged world leaders to accept that "reality."

Powell's remarks came ahead of a meeting between Bush and Iraqi prime minister Nuri al-Maliki in the Jordanian capital to discuss the security developments in Iraq.

"I would call it a civil war," Powell told a business forum in the United Arab Emirates. "I have been using it (civil war) because I like to face the reality," added Powell.

Reality-what a concept. Too bad Bush and his boot-lickers can't seem to grasp it.

Going, Going...

Continuing with the Doomsday Is Right Around The Corner theme, we have this to worry about.

Billions of people could be wiped out over the next century because of climate change, a leading expert said.

Professor James Lovelock, who pioneered the idea of the Earth as a living organism, said as the planet heats up humans will find it increasingly hard to survive.

He warned that as conditions worsen, the global population which is currently around 6.5 billion, may sink as low as 500 million.

Well shoot, maybe housing will finally become affordable in California again. See? There's a bright side to everything!

Ice, Ice, Baby

Call it the Cube Flu.

Influenza viruses may be preserved in glaciers and Arctic ice for thousands of years and released into the environment when the frozen water is thawed, potentially touching off lethal epidemics, researchers said.

Global warming may speed the release of the microbes, increasing the frequency of outbreaks, according to a study in the December issue of the Journal of Virology. The study is based on tests of water and ice from three lakes in Siberia, where large populations of migratory waterfowl breed before traveling to North America, southern Asia, Europe and Africa.

If it's not one thing it's another. Given all the catastrophes that are supposedly lying in wait for us, it's a wonder any of us are still around.

Socialism In The Sun

America's Finest City proves once again that it's far from it.

SAN DIEGO (AP)-The City Council here voted late Tuesday to ban certain giant retail stores, dealing a blow to Wal-Mart Stores Inc.'s potential to expand in the nation's eighth-largest city.

The measure, approved on a 5-3 vote, prohibits stores of more than 90,000 square feet that use 10 percent of space to sell groceries and other merchandise that is not subject to sales tax. It takes aim at Wal-Mart Supercenter stores, which average 185,000 square feet and sell groceries.

Mayor Jerry Sanders will veto the ban if the Council reaffirms it on a second vote, which will likely happen in January, said mayoral spokesman Fred Sainz. The Council can override his veto with five votes.

Having lived in San Diego for many years, I can attest that it is a beautiful city, but its politics really are this whacky. I guess some things haven't changed.

Tell It To The Judge

As if there wasn't enough hot air in Washington already.

The global political battle over climate change was also being fought at the US Supreme Court Wednesday as judges bickered over the role of greenhouse gas emissions in global warming and disagreed on whether the Environmental Protection Agency had the power to refuse to regulate such emissions.

Hearing a case that could have a big impact on emission politics in the US Congress and beyond, judges listened to a Bush administration official defend the notion that the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) should stay out of greenhouse gas regulation. They also heard from the state of Massachusetts, which insists that its coastline will be threatened unless the EPA steps in.

Environmental activists, frustrated by the failure of Congress of the Bush administration to act on global warming, brought the issue to the Supreme Court with the case Massachusetts v EPA. The court heard oral arguments in the case yesterday but will rule only sometime next year.

Maybe if these envirowhackos stopped opening their mouths they could contribute to reducing emissions on their own.

No Toys For Mini-Me

The U.S. wants to hurt Lil' Kim where he lives.

WASHINGTON (AP)-The Bush administration wants North Koreas attention, so like a scolding parent it's trying to make it tougher for that country's eccentric leader to buy iPods, plasma televisions and Segay electric scooters. The U.S. government's first-ever effort to use trade sanctions to personally aggravate a foreign president expressly targest items believed to be favored by Kim Jong Il or presented by him as gifts to the roughly 600 loyalist families who run the communist government.

Kin, who engineered a secret nuclear weapons program, has other options for obtaining the high-end consumer electronics and other items he wants.

But the list of proposed luxury sanctions, obtained by the Associated Press, aims to make Kim's swanky life harder: No more cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles or even personal watercraft, such as jet skis.

Well, at least he gets to keep his porn...

Newt Nails It

Just wow.

BEDFORD, N.H.-Former House speaker Newt Gingrich told a New Hampshire audience yesterday that unless the Bush administration admits that the war in Iraq is a "failure," it will never develp a strategy to leave the country successfully.

Gingrich, who has been laying the groundwork for a presidential run, said the Bush administration needs to plan a "third stage" in Iraq, following the military takeover stage and the recent democracy-building stage. But he says a third stage can come about only if officials admit they must change course.

"If the military, White House, and State Department continue to avoid the word 'failure,' how can you bring about a third stage?" Gingrich said.

Yes, the man behind the Contract with America and one of the chief architects of the Republican Revolution has become one a'them durn cut-and-run libruls. Funny how there seem to be so many of them these days...

Maliki Who?

Is Mr. Maliki soon to be unemployed?

WASHINGTON, Nov. 28-A classified memorandum by President Bush's national security advisor expressed serious doubts about whether Prime Minister Nuri Kamul al-Maliki had the capacity to control the sectarian violence in Iraq and recommended that the United States take new steps to strengthen the Iraqi leader's position.

The Nov. 8 memo was prepared for Mr, Bush and his top deputies by Stephen J. Hadley, the national security adviser, and senior aides on the staff of the National Security Council after a trip by Mr. Hadley to Baghdad.

I'm guessing this is Bush's way of telling Maliki to shape up or ship out. Of course, that doesn't seem to apply to the Bush administration itself.

Russian Flu-ette

Whatever Putin's carrying sure is contagious.

Yegor Gaidar, Russia's former prime minister and the architect of the country's market reforms, last week suffered a sudden, unexplained and violent illness on a visit to Ireland, a day after Alexander Litvinenko, a former KGB spy, died in London from an apparent radiation posioning.

Mr. Gaidar is now in a stable condition at an undisclosed Moscow hospital, undergoing tests. In a telephone interview with the FT, Mr. Gaidar said the doctors had so far been unable to identify the cause of the violent vomiting and bleeding that he suffered during a conference in Ireland.

Forget about the Clintons-just being near Putin can be hazardous to your health!

Settle Down, Beavis

Uh-huh, huh huh huh huh huh huh!

Feel Me The Money

Now I've heard everything.

The government discriminates against blind people by printing money that all looks and feels the same, a federal judge said Tuesday in a ruling that could change the face of American currency.

U.S. District Judge James Robertson ordered the Treasury Department to come up with ways for the blind to tell bills apart. He said he wouldn't tell officials how to fix the problem, but he ordered them to begin working on it.

The American Council of the Blind has proposed several options, including printing bills of differing sizes, adding embossed dots or foil to the paper or using raised ink.

What if you're a blind bank robber? Wouldn't sticking to the old currency just be an easier way to fool him?

"If Elected, I Will Not Serve"

Just how single-minded is one of the leading groups of the religious right? The guy chosen for the job says thanks, but no thanks.

The president-elect of the Christian Coalition of America has declined the job, saying the organization wouldn't let him expand its agenda beyond opposing abortion and gay marriage.

The Rev. Joel Hunter, who was scheduled to take over the socially conservative group in January from Roberta COmbs, said he had hoped to focus on issues such as poverty and the environment.

"These are issues that Jesus would want us to care about," said Hunter, a senior pastor at Northland Church in Longwood, Florida.

Hunter announced his decision not to take the job during an organization board meeting Nov. 21. A statement issued by the group said Hunter left because of "differences in philosophy and vision." Hunter said he was not asked to leave.

"They pretty much said, 'These issues are fine, but they're not our issues, that's not our base,'" Hunter said.

Of course not. Their "Base" is too busy trying to keep America safe from those eeevil homos and Godless Darwinists who believe in that pesky science.

Radioactive

London is literally a hot town these days.

LONDON (Reuters)-Traces of radiation have been found at several more sites in London during investigations into the death of a former KGB spy last week, British Home Secretary John Reid said on Monday.

Reid told parliament that indications of radiation had been found at "several other premises" in addition to Alexander Litvinenko's home and at a hotel and restaurant he visited on November 1, the day he fell ill. But Reid said there was no need for public alarm.

Litvinenko died last week, accusing russian President Vladimir Putin of murdering him, and significant amounts of highly radioactive plonium-210 were found in his body. Russia strongly denies involvement.

Where's 007 when you need him?

N Means No

Oh, African-American, please!

LOS ANGELES-The Rev. Jesse Jackson is calling on the entertainment industry to stop using the racial slur that Michael Richards used against hecklers in a Los Angeles comedy club.

Jackson and others told supporters Monday that they'll meet with television networks, film companies and musicians to talk about the n-word.

Jackson is also asking the public not to buy a DVD box set of the seventh season of "Seinfeld." The set was released last week, the same week that former Seinfeld star Richards was videotaped unleashing a racist rant against the black hecklers.

Well, on the plus side it would put a lot of rappers out of business...

The Last In Line

Poor Lurch. All that ego and no place to go.

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP)-Americans have the warmest feelings about former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, Republican Sen. John McCain and Democratic Sen. Barack Obama, according to a poll released Monday that scores the popularity of national leaders.

The Quinnipac University's "thermometer reading," taken the week after the Nov. 7 election, asked voters to rate their feelings for 20 leaders on a scale of 0 to 100.

Giuliani, a Republican weighing a presidential bid in 2008, scored the highest at 64.2. Obama and McCain, who are also considering a 2008 campaign, finished next at 58.8 and 57.7.

President Bush was 15th out of 20 while his secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, was fourth and former President Clinton fifth.

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton scored ninth of the 20 leaders with a score of 49. Massacusetts Sen. John Kerry, the 2004 Democratic nominee who was roundly criticized before the election for suggesting that students who don't study could end up stuck in Iraq, came in last at 39.6.

Maybe it's because when people think of warm and fuzzy, John-John isn't really the first person who comes to mind.

An Inconvenient Phil

Move over, Al. Donahue's taking over the irrelevancy.

Add the name of Phil Donahue to the list of people who've made documentaries about the effects of the Iraq war.

The legendary liberal talk-show host and renowned Ralph Nader supporter showed his film-which he called a work in progress-to a private screening group last week.

The film, "Body of War," is unfinished but riveting. It should make Thomas Young, its central character, a star on the lecture and possibly talk-show circuit, much the way Mark Zupan got recognition after last year's "Murderball."

Consideirng Phil's success with Ralph, if I were Mr. Young I'd think about getting a new agent...

Devil May Care

It's Baby Hugo versus Beelzebub!

CARACAS, Venezuela (Reuters)-Venezuela's leftist President Hugo Chavez on Sunday promised hundreds of thousands of supporters he would win a resounding victory in his December 3 reelection bid he describes as a challenge to Washington.

The former soldier and self-styled revolutionary is favored in the polls to beat rival Manuel Rosales after building a solid political base through a social development campaign financed by oil revenues.

(snip) "We are confronting the devil, and we will hit a home run off the devil next Sunday," said Chavez, who ruffled feathers in Ocrober by calling President Bush the devil in remarks at the United Nations.

Since Baby Hugo is the one dressed in red, maybe God will get confused and send a blow against him instead. One can only hope.

Lessons Learned?

For all the ire he gets from social conservatives, the more practical conservatives seem to be getting it with regards to a certain former Mayor.

Some of the biggest Republican donors to George W Bush's presidential campaigns are backing Rudy Giuliani, the former New York mayor, for the White House as the candidate who can beat Hillary Clinton in 2008.

Over a private lunch of sea bass and hamburgers at New York's 21 Club recently, Mr Giuliani addressed nearly three dozen of the men who helped propel Mr Bush to the presidency. They included "Pioneers", who donated more than $100,000 to Bush campaigns, and "Rangers", who gave at least $200,000.

Patrick Oxford, a major Bush contributor from Houston who attended the lunch, said that despite having courted the top Bush donors for years, Senator John McCain, seen as the Republican front runner for 2008, had not persuaded all of them.

(snip) Mr Giuliani is seen as a hero of the September 11 attacks for his dignified and patriotic performance as New York mayor, as well as being known as a foreign policy hawk. He has therefore been able to tackle head-on the concerns that his liberal stances on abortion, gun control and gay marriage make him unacceptable to ordinary Republicans.

"Closer analysis will find that his positions on those three particular issues are not hands-down odius to the Republican rank and file," said Mr Oxford.

The social conservatives who hate Rudy so much have two choices. They can either hold their noses and vote for him, or they can stay home-and marginalize themselves even further from the conservative mainstream if Hillary(tm) wins. The choice is up to them.

Boycotts Begin, Are You Listenin'?

And here's another moron who has a bug up his butt this holiday season.

BEUNA PARK, Calif., Nov. 25--Dr. Wiley S. Drake Sr. pastor of First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park California, and newly elected 2nd Vice President of the Southern Baptist Convention, announced today that he is calling all people from all walks of life to boycott Wal Mart until the company repents and returns to the family roots put down deep by Christian businessman Sam Walton.

Drake said on his 63 birthday he sent the following letter to Lee Scott, President of Wal Mart:

Dear Mr. Scott:

Please accept my appreciation for Wal-Mart taking a stand to remain neutral in the cultural wars.

However as long as you are killing babies with your selling "Plan B" I will not return to your stores.

Also as long as you are still a member of the Homosexual Chamber of Commerce I will not return to your store.

I could go on but the list is long, and until Wal Mart Repents I will do all I can to keep people out of your stores.

Don't go away mad, Dr. Drake. Just go away...far, far away.

The Rangel Angle

Leave it to this moron to pick up where Lurch left off.

Hot Air has the video:

I want to make it abundantly clear: if there's anyone who believes that these youngsters want to fight, as the Pentagon and some generals have said, you can just forget about it. No young, bright individual wants to fight just because of a bonus and just because of educational benefits. And most of all of them come from communities of very, very high unemployment. If a young fella has an option of having a decent career or joining the army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that he would not be in Iraq.

Well, considering that our institutions of higher learning turned out people like "Jon Carey," I'd say they're actually better off.

See Me, Hear Me, Smell Me

What if a moonbat became a human torch and nobody cared?

CHICAGO-Malachi Ritscher envisioned his death as one full of purpose.

He carefully planned the details, mailed a copy of his apartment key to a friend, created to-do lists for his family. On his Web site, the 52-year-old experimental musician who'd fought with depression even penned his obituary.

At 6:30 a.m. on Nov. 3-four days before an election caused a seismic shift in Washington politics-Ritscher, a frequent anti-war protester, stood by an off-ramp in downtown Chicago near a statue of a giant flame, set up a video camera, doused himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire.

Aglow for the crush of morning commuters, his flaming body was supposed to be a call to the nation, a symbol of his rage and discontent with the U.S. war in Iraq.

(snip) There was only one problem: No one was listening.

If a nutcase turns himself into a charcoal briquette and nobody gives a damn, is he still irrelevant?

J'Accuse

Ah, the French. How civilized they are.

A Jewish fan of the HaPoel Tel Aviv soccer team was attacked by French fans in Paris Thursday, resulting in a police shooting that left one dead and one injured.

The incident took place at 11 PM at a McDonald's restaurant near Paris's Parc des Princes stadium following Tel Aviv's 4-2 victory over Paris Saint-Germain in a UEFA Cup match.

Paris fans attacked four French Jewish fans after members of the mob identified them as "Jews". The Jews fled in different directions and a mob formed chasing after one of them, Yaniv Hazout.

Don't worry. The mob was just getting things ready for their future Islamist overlords...

A Stone's Throw Away

Yep, Iraq is a real success story these days, isn't it?

The motorcade of Iraq's Prime Minister has been pelted with stones by fellow Shiites in a Baghdad slum when he paid respects to some of the 200 who died there last week.

The anger in Sadr City, stronghold of the Medhi Army Shiite militia, boiled over on the third day of a curfew imposed on the capitol by Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki's US-backed national unity coalition as it scrambled desperately to stop popular passions exploding into all-out civil war between Shiites and the Sunni minority.

"It's all your fault!" one man shouted as, in unprecedented scenes, a crowd began to surge around Mr. Maliki.

Talk about a Shiitestorm. Never mind Saddam; Mr. Maliki's days are the ones that may be numbered.

Somebody's Watching Me (And I Have No Privacy)

Don't worry. Uncle Sam is taking good care of you.

A report by an EU panel released Thursday said the bank data transfer agency SWIFT broke European privacy laws by handing over personal data to U.S. authorities for use in anti-terror investigations.

The Belgian-based company, The Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication, "committed violations of data protection laws" by secretly transferring data to the United States, without properly informing Belgian authorities, the EU's data protection panel said.

The panel's report calls on SWIFT, financial institutions and EU authorities to "take the necessary measures" to end the transfer, which it said contradicts Belgian and EU data protection rules. SWIFT is still transferring data under U.S. subpoenas.

Well, if it's in the name of fighting terror, then it has to be for our own good. After all, the Bush administration's first priority is upholding the law...isn't it?

With A Little Help From Our "Friends"

Calling all Arab countries: Team Bush wants you.

WASHINGTON-With Iraq near all-out civil war, the Bush administration is renewing efforts to break the cycle of violence there by enlisting the help of moderate Arab nations while also seeking to tackle the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Ahead of a meeting next week between President George W. Bush and Iraq PRime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, Vice President Dick Cheney was leaving on Friday for Saudi Arabia to discuss Iraq and other regional issues.

The United States would like Saudi Arabia to use its influence with Iraq's Sunni minority to help stabilize the country. On Thursday, multiple car bombs killed more than 200 people in a Shi'ite stronghold in Baghdad in the worst single attack since U.S. forces toppled Saddam Hussein's government in April 2003.

Don't tell me the cowboy diplomacy thing is passe, Mr. President. You still have two more years to keep screwing things up and please the few remaining Bushbots!

Promises, Promises

I'm sure this will make folks in the Big Easy feel a whole lot better.

President Bush on Saturday renewed the nation's committment to help victims of last year's Gulf COast hurricanes and thanked U.S. troops fighting abroad.

In his Saturday radio address, Bush said Americans are grateful to those who rallied after hurricanes Katrina and Rita to bring food, water and hope to people who lost everything.

"We renew our commitment to help those who are still suffering and to rebuild our nation's Gulf Coast," Bush said.

Considering this administration's track record in the fixing things department, I'm not holding my breath.

They Protested On A Midnight Clear

Leave it to PETA to be this stupid.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska-The pastor at Anchorage First Free Methodist Church was mystified. Why was the activist group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals chastising him? No animals are harmed in the church's holiday nativity display. In fact, animals aren't used at all.

People, however, do dress the parts-Mary, Joseph, the wise men, etc. The volunteers stand shivering at a manger on the curch lawn in a silent tribute to Christmas.

The Rev. Jason Armstrong was confused by an e-mail this week from PETA which, admonished him for subjecting animals "to cruel treatment and danger," by forcing them into roles in the church's annual manger scene.

"We've never had live animals, so I just figured this was some spam thing," Armstrong said. "It's rough enough on us people standing out there in the cold. So we're definitely not using animals."

Well, reality never stopped PETA before. Maybe they'll protest against the use of hay for the manger because, you know, straw has feelings, too.

Kumbayah, Allah

The Religion Of Pieces wants His Holiness to say otherwise.

ANKARA (Reuters)-Turkey's top Muslim official said on Thursday Pope Benedict should state clearly during a planned visit to Turkey next week he believes Islam, like Christianity, to be a religion of peace.

Benedict infuritated Muslims worldwide in September with a lecture that appeared to portray Islam as an irrational religion tainted by violence. Benedict later expressed regret over the pain his remarks caused but stopped short of a full apology.

"I think the attitude the Pope should take is that neither Islam nor Christianity is a source of violence," said Ali Bardakoglu, who heads Ankara's Directorate General for Religious Affairs which controls Turkish imams and writes their sermons.

I sure hope Bendict is a good actor because I think he'd have difficulty agreeing to the Turk's request with a straight face...

From Russia With No Love

It looks like the Russkies are back to their old tricks.

A former KGB agent turned Kremlin critic who blamed a "barbaric and ruthless" Russian President Vladimir Putin for his fatal poisoning had a toxic radioactive substance in his body, the British government said Friday.

In the statement dicated from his deathbed, Alexander Litvinenko accused the Russian leader of having "no respect for life, liberty or any civilized value." In his first public response to the allegations, Putin said he deplored the former spy's death but called the statment a political provocation.

The Health Protection Agency said the radioactive element polonium-210 had been found in Litvinenko's urine.

Considering that Uncle Putin seems bent on reviving the old Soviet Union, it seemed only logical that the Cold War wouldn't be too far behind. Looks like it's time to bring the Impossible Missions Force out of mothballs...

Praise The Lord, Pass The Stuffing And Gravy

HAPPY TURKEY DAY

Wednesday The Rabbi Went Nuts

And the winner of the monthly overblown hyperbole award goes to:

In an interview today, LifeSiteNews.com spoke with Rabbi Yehuda Levin, the Special Emmisary to Israel for the Union of Orthodox Rabbis of the United States and Canada and The Rabbinical Alliance of America, about the Israeli High Court of Justice's ruling today that homosexual couples married abroad will be registered as married couples.

(snip) He noted that while vocal on the land-rights of Israel, several Christian groups have been slow to protect Israel from the homosexual agenda. "IT is far wose to allow the homosexualization of the Holy Land than to give back land to the Arabs," Levin told LifeSiteNews.com.

(snip) While he stressed that this would never excuse any type of genocide or holocaust, he added, "There fore on a certain level, even anti-Semitism that leads to the destruction of the Jewish people, is not the ultimate evil. The ultimate evil would be to take the Jew, or anybody else, and attempt to destroy them spiritually. That would be the ultimate holocaust."

(snip) "If people of faith are serious enough then there's a hope to stem the tide of immorality," Rabbi Levin told LifeSiteNews.com. "But if we turn the other cheek to this evil, then we will all suffer worldwide. Because as the holy land goes, so by extension, will other areas of the world go. It will incur God's wrath."

Somebody should tell Pat Robertson to stop loaning out his speech writers...

She's Feeling Much Better Now

Well, this is nice to know.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters)-Barbara Streisand ended her latest farewell tour on Monday at a celebritiy-studded Los Angeles love-in that included incoming Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi among the thousands of rapt fans.

About 20,000 people, who each paid up to $750 per ticket, packed the Staples Center to welcome the 64-year-old singer back to her adopted hometown, ending a 16-city North American tour that began on October 4 in Philadelphia.

The concert was filled with political overtones as Streisand, a longtime liberal activist, introduced Pelosi to a standing ovation.

Taking note of the recent Democratic takeover of both houses of Congress, Streisand said, "My depression is over."

Better keep those antidpressents handy, Babs. I think you're going to need them again in a couple of years...

Dexter's Laboratory

Move over, Dr. Evil. There's a new mad scientist in town.

On the surface, Thiago Olson is like any tupical teenager.

He's on the cross country and track teams at Stoney Creek High School in Rochester Hills. He's a good-looking, clean-cut 17-year-old with a 3.75 grade point average and he has his eyes fixed on the next big step: college.

But to his friends, Thiago is known as "the mad scientist."

In the basement of his parents' Oakland Township home, tucked away in an area most aren't privy to see, Thiago is exhausting his love of physics on a project that has taken him more than two years and 1,000 hours to research and build-a large, intricate machine that, on a small scale, creates nuclear fusion.

Nuclear fusion-when atoms are combined to create energy-is "kind of like the holy grail of physics," he said.

Isn't that how it is-one minute they're playing with nuclear reactors in the playpen, the next they're threatening to take over the world...

The Blank Generation

It seems that South Korean liberals are finding out the hard way what American and European liberals have already proven: Reality and theory don't mix.

Song Young Gil and Won Hee Ryong epitomize South Korea's 386 generation-the dynamic group of activists who took it upon themselves to transform the country. They gained political power in their 30's, helped to usher in democracy in the '80s by ousting a military regime, and were born in the 60s. Like America's anti-Vietnam War generation, the 386ers demanded greater economic eauality and more social justice.

Six years after being elected to the National Assembly, however, both Song and Won are frustrated. Not only because the idealistic goals of the 386ers have not been attained, but also because the movement itself has been humbled, having largely bungled its political opportunity. About 20 of President Roh Moo Hyun's top advisers are 386ers-and critics blame them for the divisive political climate in the country, and for a slowdown in economic growth. The Roh administration is deeply unpopular. "Our generation was good at fighting for democracy," says Song. "But we were poor at building something new. While Song belongs to the ruling Uri Party, a disillusioned Won has remained in the conservative Grand National Party.

Sounds like at least some of them are learning from their mistakes. I wish I could say the same thing about American lefties.

Paper Trail

If you're burdoned by white liberal guilt, it's never too late to show it.

Why have two of North Carolina's largest newspapers apologized in separate editorials for their part in the 1898 racial battles that occured statewide, culminating in the Wilmington, N.C. race riots in November of that year?

The apologies, in The Charlotte Observer and The News & Observer of Raleigh, last Friday coincided with a 16-page special report on the racial conflicts that boiled over 108 years ago. The tab section, jointly produced by both papers, chronicled events that led to the riots and anti-black activities, including efforts by local newspapers to support supremacists and seek the removal of anti-segregationists from office.

Editorial page editors at the papers, both currently owned by The McClatchy Company, said the timing for an apology was right. "We simply came to the determination that to fully acknowledge our role was appropriate," Steve Ford, editorial page editor for the News & Observer, told E&P today. "Once you do that, it came to seem to us that an apology was a natural step to take."

We ought to have a huge list of everybody who has ever been wronged in history. That way, if somebody wants an apology, their name can just be checked off. It would be a huge waste of time, but that's something liberals are good at.

Back To Basics

It sounds like the right message. Will the GOP listen?

The newly tapped Republican National Committee general chairman said Saturday that the party must return to core beliefs of smaller government, less spending, and fewer taxes to regain national leadership.

The address, Senator Mel Martinez's first since his new post was announced, came as Republicans are reeling nationally from the loss of both houses of Congress in the Nov. 7 elections.

"There's nothing wrong with our philosophy. There's nothing wrong with our principals," Martinez told members of the Florida Republican Party at its quarterly meeting. "We need to go back to restoring the faith of the people."

I wish Mr. Martinez luck. Considering how far the Republicans have fallen from those principals, he's going to need it.

'Cause He's Like Ice

Call him the Stage Nazi.

Michael Richards stunned a comedy club audience, shouting racial epithets at people who heckled him during a stand-up routine.

The 57-year-old actor-comedian, best known for playing Jerry Seinfeld's eccentric neighbor Kramer on the hit TV show "Seinfeld," was performing at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood Friday night when he went into the verbal rampage.

A video posted on TBZ.com shows that the tirade apparently began after two black audience members started shouting at him that he wasn't funny.

Richards retorted: "Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f--- fork up your a--."

He then paced across the stage taunting the men for interrupting his show, peppering his speech with racial slurs and profanities.

He was out there, Jerry. But apparently he was NOT loving it...

Arnold's Answer

The Governator could show the GOP how it's supposed to be done.

He can't run for president-the Constitution forbids it.

He won't camp out in Iowa or New Hampshire-that would fritter away the goodwill he worked so hard to rebuild this election season.

But that does not mean Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger plans to sit out the 2008 presidential campaign.

Fresh off a smashing reelection victory, the governor and his political team are hoping Schwarzenegger's outsized persona and bipartisan achievements in Sacramento can translate into a substantial role in the next White House contest, especially on the Republican side.

"When you have a Republican who won a large victory in a Democratic state in a very Democratic year, clearly he's identifying issues that represent what many voters are concerned about," said Adam Mendehsohn, the governor's communications chief.

And those issues were NOT gay marriage or abortion, no matter how much "The base" might wish otherwise. They are the issues that helped Republicans win in the past-fiscal responsibility and national defense. If the GOP leadership can get over itself and remember that, they might be worth voting for again.

Back To The Golf Course

The Juice has been dumped.

After a firestorm of criticism, News Corp. said Monday that it has canceled the O.J. Simpson book and TV special "If I Did It."

"I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. "We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson."

A dozen Fox affiliates had already said they would not air the two-part sweeps month special, planned for next week before the Nob. 30 publication of the book by ReganBooks. The publishing house is a HarperCollins imprint owned-like the Fox Network-by News Corp.

I guess O.J. just didn't make the cut...

A Psychopath Of One

What's the difference btween us and our enemies? We actually punish our scumbags.

Fort Campbell, Kentucky: One of four US soldiers accused of raping a 14-year-old Iraqi girl last spring showed little remorse and even smiled during a confession to charges he conspired to kill her and her family.

Even before the hearing on Wednesday to announce a plea agreement, James P. Barker, 23, slapped hands with other soldiers and frinned as he smoked a cigarette in the rain. A bailiff scolded him.

And when he described for the judge the assault in his own words, he gave vivid details of the rape with a deadpan delivery.

"That's pretty much all I have to say," Barker muttered with a shrug after describing raping the screaming girl. Barker agreed to plead guilty to the charges to avoid the death penalty, his civilian attorney David Sheldon said.

I would have turned him over to the girl's family or tribe and let them deal with this asshole. But that's just me.

School Daze

Class dismissed...wait a minute. What class?

New York: One recent day at the Brooklyn Free School, the "schedule" included the following: chess, debate, filming horror movies, and making caves for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Not that the students had to go to any of these sessions. At this school, students don't get grades, don't have homework, don't take tests, don't even have to go to class. Unless they want to.

"You can do basically anything at any time, and it's just a lot more fun because sometimes when you need a break at regular schools you can't get it," said Sophia Bennett Holmes, 12, an aspiring singer-actress-fashion designer. "But here if you just need to sit down and read and have time to play, then you can do that."

At the Brooklyn Free School, much of the decision-making occurs in a mandatory (yes, as in required) weekly gathering called the Democratic Meeting. Here, students air grievances, pose challenges, propose rules and set policy. Even the youngest children have a vote equal to the staffers. One agreed-upon rule? No sword-fighting allowed inside.

Well, I guess the next generation of burger-flippers and welfare recipients has to come from somewhere, so why not give them a head start when they're young?

America Is A Poopyhead

It's not easy being mean.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) Rude immigration officials and long delays in processing visas have turned the United States into the world's most unfriendly country for international travelers, according to a global survey released on Monday.

The survey showed that the United States was ranked "the worst" in terms of visas and immigration procedures by twice the percentage of travelers as the next destination regarded as unfriendly-the Middle East and the Asian subcontinent.

We're meaner than the Arabs? I didn't think that was possible.

Door Number Three

Thanks to Bush and Rummy, the military is now left with three ways to get us out of Team Bush's screw-ups.

WASHINGTON-A Pentagon review of Iraq has come up with three options-injecting more troops into Iraq, shrinking the force but staying longer or pulling out, The Washington Post reported Monday.

The newspaper quoted senior defense officials as dubbing the three alternatives "Go big, go long and go home."

The secret military study was commissioned by Gen. Peter Pace, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and comes as political and military leaders struggle with how to conduct a war that is increasingly unpopular, both in the United States and in occupied Iraq.

Well, since Choice No. 2 has already been tried and isn't working, and Choice No. 1 flies in the face of what Bush believes, that means Door Number Three. The only question is how and when it will happen so that we can leave with some of our dignity intact.

All You Need Is The Orgasmatron

You have to hand it to hippies-they come up with creative excuses for getting laid.

Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter.

But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.

The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.

"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Raffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change."

Yeah, but how many of them will be faking it...

Henry Weighs In

Meet another one of those durn cut-and-run libruls.

LONDON-Military victory is no longer possible in Iraq, former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger said in a television interview broadcast Sunday.

Kissinger presented a bleak vision of Iraq, saying the U.S. government must enter into dialouge with Iraq's regional neighborr-including Iran-if progress is to be made in the region.

"If you mean by 'military victory' an Iraqi government that can be established and whose writ runs across the whole country, that gets the civil war under controll and sectarian violence under control in a time period that the political processes of the democracies will support, I don;t believe that is possible," he told the British Broadcasting Corp.

But Kissinger, an architect of the Vietnam war who has advised President Bush about Iraq, warned against a rapid withdrawal of coalition troops, saying it could destabilize Iraq's neighbors and cause a long-lasting conflict.

"A dramatic collapse of Iraq-whatever we think about how the situation was created-would have disasterous consequences for which we would pay for many years and which would bring us back, in one way or another, into the region," he said.

Mr. Kissinger makes sense. Which is why the Bushbots will now loathe him with a passion.

Metrosexuals In Waiting

Oh, I get it. It's because they're not gay enough as it is.

LEWISTON-School-age boys, whose classroom struggles have recently been the cause of much concern in education circles, are being hurt by an unwritten set of social rules that discourage them from showing their emotions, a Harvard psychologist told a group of teachers Friday.

William Pollack, the author of "Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood," used a mix of anecdotes and statistics to argue that stereotypical images of manhood are detrimental to boys.

"If a boy puts on a football helmet and cleats, then he's a real boy," said Pollack, co-director of the Center for Men at Harvard Medical School. "If he puts on a ballet outfit and tutu, then we say we hope he'll grow out of it."

I must not be enough of a man, then. Only real men wear tutus!

Get Thee Behind Me, Lurch

And speaking of losers:

It has been a bad few days for John Kerry, the junior senator in that proud stable of upright outre' solons from Massachusetts, gaunt senseless pontificator, noted jokester, war hero, camera hog, hip 70s Winter Soldier, one time presidential candidate, haircut model in many barbershops, early Botox patient, and Beacon Hill denizen with a deep abiding concern over the exact placement of Boston's fire hydrants.

In fact, it's been a virtual nightmare for a man not used to having anything other than his own way.

Seemingly lost in the labyrinthine corridors of the Capitol, now awash with new Democratic power brokers and their cadres of baby-faced bum kissers, poor Mr. Kerry valiantly ran from room to room, office to office, converence room to men's room, searching for that meeting with Chuck Schumer and the Democratic leadership which he knew in his heart that he must be invited to, which he must attend, whose successful outcome depended on his storied output.

Poor Lurch. From presidential contender to persona non gratis in one short election cycle. Don't worry, Lurch. Maybe you can join Mad How in Canada...

Hosers Vs. Howard

How much does it suck to be Mad How? Even Canucks think he stinks.

Canada's opposition Liberal Party is holding a convention this month to elect a national leader, and some party leaders aren't too happy about the choice of the keynote speaker-Howard Dean.

They say the unsuccessful presidential candidate has now place telling Canadians how to win elections. The former Vermont governor lost his bid for the 2004 Democratic nomination to Massachisetts Sen. John Kerry.

"I as a Canadian am appalled to have an American loser address a keynote convention that will choose Canada's next prime minister," Ray Heard, former Liberal Party communications director, told CTV television on Thursday.

We've been appalled by him for years, guys. Maybe now it's your turn. You keep him, we'll take Stephen Harper and Rush, how about it?

Space Truckin'

NASA is looking for a few good men.

It is the stuff of nightmares and, until now, Hollywood thrillers. A huge asteroid is on a catastrophic collision course with Earth and mankind is poised to go the way of the dinosaurs.

To save the day, Nasa now plans to go where only Bruce Willis has gone before. The US space agency is drawing up plans to land an astronaut on an asteroid hurtling through space at more than 30,000 mph. It wants to know whether humans could master techniques needed to deflect such a doomsday object when it is eventually identified. The proposals are at an early stage, and a spacecraft needed just to send an astronaut that far into space exists only on the drawing board, but they are deadly serious. A smallish asteroid calld Apophis has already been identified as a possible threat to Earth in 2036.

Dang, I thought Stargate SG-1 already took care of that creep...

More Bricks In The Wall

Hey, Nanny State, leave those parents alone!

Parents could be forced to go to special classes to learn to sing their children nursery rhymes, a minister said.

Those who fail to read stories or sing to their youngsters threaten their children's future and the state must put them right, Children's Minister Beverly Hughes said.

Their children's well-being is at risk 'unless we act,' she declared.

And Mrs. Hughes said the state would train a new 'parenting workforce' to ensure parents who fail to do their duty with nursery rhymes are found and'supported'.

George Orwell had nothing on the modern UK. Big Brother, meet Big Mother.

The Gift Of Giving

Hey, lefties! You know those eeeevil conservatives you hate so much? It turns out they're not so evil, after all.

SYRACUSE, N.Y.-Syracuse University professor Arthur C. Brooks is about to become the darling of the religious right in America-and it's making him nervous.

The child of academics, raised in a liberal household and educated in the liberal arts, Brooks has written a book that concludes religious conservatives donate far more money than secular liberals to all sorts of charitable activities, irrespective of income.

In the book, he cites extensive data analysis to demonstrate that values advocated by conservatives-from church attendance and two-parent families to the Protestent work ethic and a distaste for government-funded social services-make conservatives more generous than liberals.

In contrast, liberals love giving the destitute and downtrodden money-they just want to do it with somebody else's.

Rock On

Mini-Me says "Ret's jam!"

SEOUL, Nov. 17 (Yonhap)-North Korea, under international censure for trying to arm itself with nuclear weapons, plans to host an international rock music festival next year, the country's main radio station said Friday.

The Voice of Korea said in a report that the "Rock for Peace" festival will be held in Pyongyang, the capital, on March 1, a major national holiday marking an anti-Japanese public uprising in 1919.

The North's radio station carried the same report in its English Web site, with an announcement that Western musicians, including U.S. rockers, are eligible to participate and play a gamut of rock music including heavy metal.

"This is the very first time that North Korea allows Western musicians in the heart of DPRK territory to play capitalist popular music," the English report said.

Maybe we could do a trade-they give us their nukes and we give them the Dixie Chicks...

The Swarm

Technology rocks.

Israel is using nanotechnology to try to create a robot no bigger than a hornet that would be able to chase, photograph and kill its targets, an Israeli newspaper reported Friday.

The flying robot, nicknamed the "bionic hornet," would be able to navigate its way down narrow alleyways to target otherwise unreachable enemies such as rocket launchers, the daily Yedioth Ahronoth said.

It is one of several weapons being developed by scientists to combat militants, it said. Others include super gloves that would give the user the strength of a "bionic man" and miniature sensors to detect suicide bombers.

Attention all terrorists. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile!

What Would Obi-Wan Do?

Too much free time on their hands, these nerds have.

UNITED Nations chiefs today felt the Force from two Jedi Knights fighting for interstellar 'human rights'.

Self-proclaimed Jedis 'Umada' and 'Yunyun', joined by hairy wookie Chewbacca, called for official acceptance of their 'religion' at London's UN headquarters.

The fictional Jedis fought evil villain Darth Vader in the blockbuster Star Wars movie trilogy-leading to a cult following among sci-fi fans and students.

Umada, better known as 27-year-old John Wilkinson, pushed for tolerance of the Jedi faith-which attracted 390,000 followers in the 2001 UK census.

He said: "We have come here today to ask that we are recognised as the fourth largest religion in this country".

Make this stuff up, one cannot.

Off The Hook

Rummy can relax.

The lawsuit filed in Germany this week against Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and other senior Administration officials for alleged war crimes in Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo has little chance of making it to court. That's according to Andreas Zimmerman, professor of international criminal law at Kiel University who helped negotiate the Rome Treaty that founded the International Criminal Court and who drafted the German law under which Rumsfeld has been charged. Under German law, the decision over whether to try the case will rest with the federal prosecutor rather than with a judge. Federal prosecutors, of course, are subject to the wishes of the government, and the government is unlikely to press a case that would antagonize its American allies. "In theory the prosecutor could find him guilty of torture and put him in custody if he visited," said Zimmerman. "But in reality nothing is going to happen."

Rummy may be incompetent but he's no war criminal. Germany produced enough of those in the past.

Praise The Lord, Pass The Guitar Pick

From his cold, dead hands you will take this guitar.

Ed Roman's Quicksilver Guitars, the world's largest guitar store & builder of custom guitars, today announced that the company has completed the custom design, development and construction of a news custom guitar for world famous rocker, hunter and statesman Ted Nugent.

Ted Nugent, known for his hard-hitting rock'n'roll, as well as his strong support for the right to bear arms, his conservative lifestyle and love of his country, is one of Ed ROman's primary influences. "We are proud to have had the opportunity to work with Ted again and to produce this truly unige instrument and piece of rock 'n' roll history," said Ed Roman, founder of Ed Roman Guitars. "Not only is this a top-of-the-line guitar, it is a precision firearm. As usual, Ted will kill audiences with his hot finger work, but now he can employ his expert marksmanship with a six string, as well."

Ed Roman and the Luthiers at Ed Roman's guitar shop were all excited to build this guitar for Ted. They put their minds together and came up with the idea to build a magnetic, quick-deployment, high-caliber Derringer handgun into the guitar itself.

Just call him The Guitar Kid.

The Best And The Brightest

One of the great intellects of our time has left us.

Milton Friedman, the Nobel Prize-winning economist who advocated an unfettered free market and had the ear of three U.S. presidents, died Thursday at age 94.

Friedman died in San Francisco, said Robert Fanger, a spokesman for the Milton and Rose D. Friedman Foundation in Indianapolis. He did not know the cause of death.

"Milton's passion for freedom and liberty has influenced more lives than he ever could possibly know," Gordon St. Angelo, the foundation's president and CEO, said in a statement. "His writings and ideas have transformed the minds of U.S. presidents, world leaders, entrepreneurs and freshmen economic majors alike."

In more than a dozen books and a coloumn in Newsweek magazine, Friedman championed individual freedom in economics and politics.

Truly a great, great man. Godspeed, sir.

Take This Job And Shove It

I didn't think anybody could be worse than the current crop of GOP losers, but I guess I was wrong.

WASHINGTON-Seven aides who worked for U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay have resigned from the staff of his replacement, Shelley Sekula-Gibbs of Houston, after serving her for about 24 hours.

Kevin Madden, a former DeLay spokesman who works for outgoing GOP Majority Leader John Boehner and was not among the seven, said the holdover staffers "felt like they were treated terribly." He would not elaborate.

Well, it seems to me if you worked for Tom DeLay you should pretty much get what you deserve.

Got Smog?

It turns out a little pollution could go a long way.

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) -Air pollution may be just the thing to fight global warming, some scientists say.

Prominent scientists, among them a Nobel laureate, said a layer of pollution deliberately spewed into the atmosphere could act as a "shade" from the sun's rays and help cool the planet.

Reaction to the proposal here at the annual U.N. conference on climate change is a mix of caution, curiosity and some resignation to such "massive and drastic" operations, as the chief U.N. climatologist described them.

Hmm, maybe if they get the greenies confused enough they won't be able to figure out what to protest against and leave the rest of us alone.

Pelosi Put-Down

Murtha's out.

Democrats picked Rep. Steny Hoyer to be House majority leader on Thursday, spruning Re. Nancy Pelosi's handpicked choice after unaninously backing her election as speaker when Congress convenes in January.

A Marylander and 25-year veteran of Congress, Hoyer defeated Rep. John Murtha of Pennsylvania in a vote of 149-86.

His election to the No. 2 job came just a short time after the Democratic caucus put Pelosi in line to become the first woman to be speaker, a position which is second in line of succession to the presidency. It marked a personal triumph for Hoyer.

Well, Nancy, you can't win 'em all. Let's hope this is the start of a trend for you.

Rove's Revenge?

Not that they necessarily deserve it, but could the GOP have the last laugh after all?

For a dozen years, the Democratic conservatives known as Blue Dogs have been baying at the moon, ignored by Republicans and tolerated by their more liberal Democratic colleagues. Now, these House lawmakers say that is about to change.

Republicans "did not lose their seats to liberal Democrats" in last week's elections, said Rep. Mike Ross, D-Ark. "Republicans lost their seats to Blue Dog Democrats."

"We'll have a lot to say about what passes and what doesn't" when the 110th Congress convenes in January with Democrats in control for the first time in 12 years, said Ross, new communications director for the caucus.

And therein lies the Dummycrats' Achilles heel. With Joe Lieberman considering switching parties, and these guys looking to him rather than Pelosi or Reid for leadership, the GOP may have kept a "Phantom majority". So much for the "Blue Wave."

Family Feud

"Can't we all just get along?"

WASHINGTON, Nov. 15-One would think that after their biggest electoral triumph in about a decade, Democrats would finally break their usual postelection syndrome-a November loss followed by recriminations, finger-pointing and infighting.

Well, think again.

The Democrats are celebrating their big victory of Nov. 7 with recriminations, finger-pointing and infighting, no matter that they won control of the Senate and the House for the first time since 1994.

State Democratic leaders are saying Howard Dean, the party chairman, is not receiving the credit he deserves for the triumph.

Offering a rather different view, two leading party strategists rebuked Mr. Dean on Wednesday, saying the Democrats could have captured 40 House seats rather than 29 had Mr. Dean bowed to demands by Representative Rahm Emanuel of Illinois, leader of the effort to recapture the House, to put more money into Congressional races.

"I would describe his leadership as Rumsfeldian in its incompetence," one strategist, James Carville, said of Mr. Dean.

The temperature in Hell must have dropped because I actually agree with ol' Lizard Lips. If the GOP is incompetent, the Demwits are buffoons and it's getting so you can't tell who the nuts are without a scorecard.

Finding Jacko

Jacko's back...sort of.

LONDON (Reuters)-Reclusive pop superstar Michael Jackson made a musical comeback of sorts on Wednesday, singing the chorus line of his charity single "We Are The World" before the sound cut out as he struggled for the high notes.

The 48-year-old, performing live for the first time since he was acquitted of child molestation charges in June, 2005, had been expected to sing his seminal hit "Thriller".

But to the huge disappointment of screaming fans, that was performed instead by young U.S. star Chris Brown.

Jackson looked uncomfortable at times as he was surrounded by excited young members of a gospel chorus on stage with him.

Probably reminded him too much of the good old days...

How-To For Hosers

It looks like college profs aren't the only ones who have been smoking something in the Great White North.

MISSISSAUGUA, Ontario, November 15, 2006 (LifeSiteNews.com)-A graphic sex-ed manual promoting lesbianism to teenage girls is now offered for sale by Wal-Mart Canada. Called "irresponsible and obscene" by the Institute for Canadian Values, the material contains explicit directions for engaging in oral/anal sexual acts. The book encourages same-sex experimentation, telling girls that only 10 percent of the population is actually heterosexual, while 80 percent is "mixed" or bi-sexual.

Produced by St. Stephen's Community House in Toronto, the book titled "The Little Black Book for Girlz: A Book on Healthy Sexuality" caused a storm of controversy earlier this fall when parents and pro-family groups first bacame aware of the books' content after it was published in September.

The manual was furthere condemned for using obscene and derogatory language. Examples include a section entitled "M First Time F***ing a Girl" and the statement "If you need somone to represent God The Holiness, then for me, it's a fat black dyke."

Look, guys, I know your country is already gay in a lot of ways, but please. At least leave it in the nightclubs where it belongs.

Murder By Numbers

If there is a hell, the Devil is working overtime getting things ready for this POS.

THEY call it "The Interview that will Shake the Nation." But two weeks before it is due to air, America is reeling with the news that O.J. Simpson is to describe, before an expected television audience of millions, how he would have murdered his wife.

Mr. Simpson, who was controversially acquitted 11 years ago of the murder of his estranged wife, Nicole, and her companion, will detail over a two-hour interview how he might have carried out the crimes had he been the killer.

The former American football star has always denied responsibility for the murders. The interview, to be shown on Fox TV this month, comes before the release of his book on the subject, titled If I Did It.

Well, this is it-TV has officially reached rock bottom. Look for the Charles Manson reality show next.

Darwin Awards R Us

Who knew? Allah does have a sense of humor after all!

Three terrorists were killed and one was seriously wounded on Nov. 13 when they tried to plant a roadside bomb in the Baghdad Garage neighborhood on Train Station Road in western Mosul.

The terrorists attempted to emplace a roadside bomb consisting of a 155 mm artillary round when it exploded prematurely, killing two of them instantly and injuring two more.

More like this, please. I'm all for the insurgents doing everything they can to help our guys come home sooner rather than later.

The Taxman Flyeth

Oh, joy. Here's another brilliant idea that won't fly (pardon the pun).

AIRLINE passengers would pay up to 27 (pounds) extra for a return ticket to cover the environmental damage caused by their flights, under European Commission proposals to address climate change.

Draft legislation, to be published next month, would require all flights arriving or departing from European Union airports to buy permits to cover their carbon dioxide emissions.

The document, a copy of which has been obtained by The Times, says that airlines would join Europe's emissions trading scheme by 2011 and predicts that they would pass on the costs to the passengers.

(snip) This will infuriate the United States and many other countries because it would affect all flight into and out of Europe, regardless of their origin or destination. US airlines would be forced to buy permits to cover their emissions on their European routes.

Well, between killing itself with socialism and political correctness and its unassimilated Muslim immigrants, Europe won't be worth visiting in a couple of decades anyway, so I might as well stay home.

The Sting

Just remember, Dusty Harry is not a crook.

As convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff reported to federal prison today, a source close to the investigation surrounding his activities told ABC News that Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) was one of the members of Congress Abramoff had allegedly implicated in his cooperation with federal prosecutors.

A spokesperson for Reid, elected yesterday as the Senate Majority Leader, said the senator had done nothing illegal or unethical.

"We have no idea what Abramoff is telling prosecutors to save his skin, but I do know that these kind of old allegations are completely ridiculous and untrue," Sen. Reid's spokesman Jim Manley told ABC News.

Somewhere, Karl Rove is smiling. Enjoy your victory while it lasts, guys...

Back In Black

And the stupidity continues.

WASHINGTON Nov. 15, 2006 (AP)-Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott, ousted from the top Senate Republican leadership job four years ago because of remarks considered racially insensitive, won election to the chamber's No. 2 GOP post Wednesday.

Asked whether he felt vindicated by the 25-24 secret ballot vote, Lott deferred to newly-elected party leader Mitch McConnell.

"The spotlight belongs on him," Lott said of his Kentucky colleague.

Let me get this straight: The GOP's response to getting their asses handed to them is to not only re-elect the same people who got them to lose, but to put this douchebag in charge. I'd say it was unbelievable, but nothing about these idiots surprises me anymore.

Guido, You're Fired

How bad were the Republicans? The Democrats are doing something I actually agree with.

Is the IRS's new private tax-collection program headed for an early death?

After years of congressional debate, the Internal Revenue Service recently began using private debt-collection agencies to help pursue people who owe taxes. The IRS has already turned over the names of more than 13,725 taxpayers who owe the government about $73.5 million.

But the program has tun into renewed congressional attacks--and could well be eliminated--now that Democrats are poised to take control of the House and Senate. Among the strongest critics are several influential Democrats in line to take over powerful posts next year.

"I think it's a terrible program, and I'm going to let [IRS officials] know in as many political and legislative ways as I can," says Rep. Charles Rangel, the New York Democrat expected to be the nxt chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee.

Tell the boys their services are no longer required. After all, the Government is light-years ahead of them when it comes to stealing people's money anyway.

Let Them Eat Bread

Score another one for the wonders of socialism!

PARIS (Reuters)-Why have French baquettes become more expensive? Because of France's shorter work week, French Finance Minister Thierry Breton said on Tuesday.

Breton, who has been a vocal critic of France's 35-hour work week, said the price of a baquette had risen by 23 percent over the past five years, while the price of German bread had fallen by 3 percent over the same period.

"The cost of the 35-hour week is included in the rise of the price of a baquette since 2001, and this has been hidden too much from the French," Breton told L'Express magazine in an interview published on Tuesday.

Mon Dieu! Socialism hurts the economy? Non, non!

ROTC R.I.P.

Reason #186,245,698,391 to really, really hate San Fran Whacko.

After 90 years in San Francisco high schools, the Junior Officers' Training Corps must go, the San Francisco school board decided Tuesday night.

The board voted 4-2 to eliminate the popular program, phasing it out over two years.

Dozens of JROTC cadets at the board meeting burst into tears or covered their faces after the votes were cast.

"We're really shocked," said fourth-year Cadet Eric Chu, a senior at Lowell High School, his eyes filling with tears. "It provided me with a place to go."

Sooner or later San Fran Whacko is due for a huge cosmic payback for all the bad karma they've generated over the years. There is no justice in the Universe if it turns out otherwise.

Border-Line Hypocrisy

Sounds like the Church is taking its cues from the Useless Nations these days.

VATICAN CITY (Reuters)-A senior Vatican cardinal on Tuesday condemned the building of walls between countries to keep out immigrants and said Washington's plan to build a fence on the U.S.-Mexican border was part of an "inhuman program."

Cardinal Renato Martino made his comments at a news conference presenting Pope Benedict's message for the Roman Catholic Church's World Day of Migrants and Refugees, in which the Pope called for more laws to help immigrants integrate.

"Speaking of borders, I must unfortunately say that in a world that greeted the fall of the Berlin Wall with joy, new walls are being built between neighborhood and neighborhood, city and city, nation and nation," said Martino, head of the Vatican's Council for Justice and Peace.

Methinks the good Cardinal shouldn't point his finger when he's living in a part of the world that's rapidly succumbing to its own "Immigrant" invasion. Or maybe he's looking forward to the idea of the Vatican being part of a European Islamic Caliphate someday?

Let's Jam

How cool is this?

The dreams of rock-and-roll wannabes across the world have been answered with the development of the world's first air guitar that actually plays music.

Scientists from Australia's CSIRO have embedded a sensor interface into an ordinary looking shirt to build the imaginary instrument.

The wearer positions his or her arms as if holding a guitar, picks chords with one hand and strums the notational instrument with the other.

Sensors pick up the movements and relay them back wirelessly to a computer which acts as a speaker.

Rock on, dudes!

Mother Nature's Own

It turns out that potheads are not only stupid, they're bad for the environment, too.

In their most recent trashing of California's environment, pot growers destroyed rare plants on Mount Diablo land that conservationists are buying to protect fragile wildlife and plants.

The growers sneaked onto the 208-acre rance land in the hills above Concord to hack an opening in a thicket of desert olive, the group Save Mount Diablo said.

The olive plant, a leftover from long ago when the Bay Area resembled a desert, is found only in two or three places in the county.

The pot growers apparently harvested and toted off their cash crop without detection.

Where's Cartman and his hippy killer machine when you need them?

Outed Of Africa

Wow! I wonder how the religious right in this country will feel when they find themselves agreeing with Africa's Islamofascists over this.

CAPE TOWN, South Africa-The South African parliament passed legislation recognizing gay marriages Tuesday in an unprecedented move on a continent where homosexuality is taboo.

African National Congress veterans heralded the Civil Union bill for extending basic freedoms to everyone and equated it with liberation from the shackles of apartheid.

The bill's supporters had to overcome criticism from both traditionalists and gay activists and warnings that the legislation may be unconstitutional.

"When we attained our democracy, we sought to distinguish ourselves from an unjust painful past, by declaring that never again shall it be that any South African will be discriminated against on the basis of color, creed culture and sex," Home Affairs Minister Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula told the National Assembly.

You mean that people can actually have the right to live their own lives without the government saying otherwise? I am shocked!

Hollow Victory

It seems all is not well in Pelosi Land.

House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi is under fire from fellow Democrats and outside liberals for publicly backing Rep. John P. Murtha's bid to become majority leader, saying that the presumed speaker's acts have cast doubt on her party's promise to clean up the "culture of corruption" in Washington.

"How can Americans believe that the Democrats will return integrity to the House when future Speaker Pelosi has endorsed an ethically challenged member for a leaderhsip position?" said Melanie Sloan, executive director of the liberal group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW).

"Representative Murtha is the wrong choice for the job."

I think I need to get my eyes checked because I actually agree with them.

Enter Hizzonor

Oh hell yes.

WASHINGTON-Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, a moderate Republican best known for his stewardship of the city after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, has taken the first step in a 2008 presidential bid.

The former mayor filed papers to create the Rudy Giuliani Exploratory Committee, Inc., establishing a New York-based panel that would allow him to raise money to explore a White House run and travel the country.

The four-page filing, obtained by The Associated Press, lists the purpose of the non-profit corporation "to conduct federal 'testing the waters' activity under the Federal Election Campaign Act for Rudy Giuliani."

America's Mayor is taking the plunge. The guy whose city got attacked could have his finger on the button. Think about it, Islamowhackos. Then tremble.

Republican Is As Republican Does

Now this is dumb, even for them.

WASHINGTON-The depleted House Republican caucus, a minority in the next Congress, convenes at 8 p.m. in the Capitol Friday on the brink of committing an act of supreme irrationality. The House members blame their leadership for tasting the bitter dregs of defeat. Yet, the consensus so far is that, in secret ballot, they will re-elect some or all of those leaders.

In private conversation, Republican members of Congress blame Majority Leader John Boehner and Majority Whip Roy Blunt in no small part for their midterm election debacle. yet, either Boehner, Blunt or both are expected to be returned to their leadership posts Friday. For good reason, the GOP is often called "the stupid party."

While an unpopular war in Iraq and an unpopular George W. Bush were the primary causes of last Tuesday's Republican rout, massive public disapproval of the Republican-controlled Congress significantly contributed. While abandoning conservative principals, the spendthrift House had become chained to special corporate interests reprsented by K Street lobbyists.

It must be a way of punishing themselves for losing. The only other conclusion is that these people are complete idiots.

Changing Tune

Oh, now they get it.

WASHINGTON-Responding to a humbling election, White House aides said Sunday that President Bush would welcome new ideas about the unpopular war in Iraq, even from Democrats he had branded as soft on terrorism.

As Bush planned to meet today with a key advisory group on the war, his advisers adopted a new tone, days after a dissatisfied public handed the White House a divided government.

"Full speed ahead" in Iraq, as Vice President Dick Cheney put it in the final days of the campaign, was replaced by repeated calls for a "fresh perspective" and an acknowledgement that "nobody can be happy" with the situation in Iraq.

"We clearly need a fresh approach," said Josh Bolten, Bush's chief of staff, making the rounds of morning talk shows.

Well that's nice. Why couldn't you have started saying this two or three years ago?

"Oh, Cana-Duuuude!"

"Stupid Canadians. All they do is smoke pot and smell bad!"

TORONTO, Ontario (Reuters)-the use of medical marijuana has goven two Toronto professors the right to something that many students could only dream of-access to specially ventilated rooms where they can indulge in peace.

The two, at the esteemed University of toronto and at York University to the north of the city, suffer from chronic medical conditions that some doctors say can be eased by smoking marijuana. They are among nearly 1,500 Canadians who have won the right to use the drug for health reasons.

Using human rights legislation, the two petitioned their employers for the right to light up in the workplace. They faced a legal struggle, but the universities eventually agreed.

I think they've got the wrong leaf on their flag up there....

Come To The Dark Side

Joe Lieberman, come on down!

It hasn't been the best week, and with the Iraq Study Group apparently poised to release its eagerly awaited plan for surrender today, things are unlikely to get better anytime soon. So, before we get to the serious stuff, let's cling to one piece of positive news.

Yesterday, Joe Lieberman refused to rule out the idea of caucusing with the Republicans in the Senate. As I typed that sentence and prepared to hit the "publish" button, I could sense veins popping across the progressive blogosphere. The AP reports:

Senator Joseph I. Lieberman of Connecticut said yesterday that he will caucus with Senate Democrats in the new Congress, but he would not rule out switching to the Repbulican caucus if he starts to feel uncomfortable among Democrats.

One can only wonder what kind of things would make Lieberman uncomfortable serving the Democratic Party. Perhaps something like a Majority Lader Murtha might do the trick.

The Democrats may have won, but it could be a hollow victory if more like-minded Democrats follow Lieberman's lead. In the long run, we may not have to welcome our new overlords after all.

The Doctor Is Not In

Ah, the joys of socialized medicine!

Junior surgeons are walking out halfway through operations because of rules over the hours they work.

They are routinely downing scalpels before procedures are complete, to comply with the European Union's controversial Working Time Directive.

Although their senior colleagues stay to complete the procedure, in some cases operating room nurses are forced to fill in for the departing doctor.

Doctors and patient groups expressed alarm over the "dangerous" practice. Professor John Lowry, chairman of the Royal College of Surgeons' Working Time Directive committee, said: "We're concerned about this because if someone walks out of an operation it is detrimental both to the safety of the patient and the training the junior is receiving."

Maybe they need a rule for patients that they can only get sick in accordance with the Working Time law. It would make about as much sense as the rest of the European Union's asinine rules do.

Justice Is Served

This shows why it's never a good idea to be a collaborator.

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP)--A Catholic nun has been sentenced to 30 years in jail for helping militias kill hundreds of people hiding in a hospital during Rwanda's 1994 genocide, an official said Friday.

Theophister Mukakibbi was sentenced by a traditional gacaca court for helping Hutu militiamen to kill ethnic Tutsis seeking refuge from the slaughter in Burare hospital, where she worked.

"She was responsible for selecting Tutsis and would throw them out of the hospital and the militia would kill them," said Jean Baptitse Ndahuma, president of the local gacaca court in Butare town. "This nun was organizing people to be killed." She was jailed Thursday.

There is a special place in Hell for people like this. And I'm sure that a few years in an African prison will make Hell seem like a relief when she gets there.

The Good Old Days

Somehow I'm not too surprised by this.

A new study conducted for the German Friedrich Ebert Fund reveals that the anti-Semetic views, sense of superiority, the yearning for a strong government and the hatred of foreigners are still very strong among the German population. The researchers revealed that about 15 percent of those polled believe that the Germans have a natural superiority in comparision to other peoples.

The study was conducted by two professors from the University of Leipzig who questioned 5,000 Germans in an attempt to study their level of agreement to opinions held by the extreme right. Twenty eight percent of the participants longed for Germany to return to be a major player in the world scene and think they must use force in order to 'reach the position they deserve.' About eight percent are convinced that the crimes of the Nazis are grossly exaggerated.

What is mostly concerning is the longing the Germans have for darker days: Nine percent support turning Germany into a dictatorship, 15 percent are convinced that "a tyrant is better than a democracy," and 26 percent of them hope for a system of government which a single popular party will represent the entire nation.

Some folks never learn...

The Lesson For Next Time

Now this is what I'm talking about.

The midterm elections that turned over control of Congress to the Democrats were a defeat for Republicans, not conservatives, said former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

He believes there is still hope to advance a conservative agenda if House Republicans can find allies among conservative Democrats.

"The balance of power in the House is now 50-plus blue-dog (conservative) Democrats," he told the Washington Times. GOP insiders believe Republicans suffered defeat largely becaise voters perceived that they had strayed from conservative principals.

A poll of 15 key congressional districts by the Club for Growth found that voters think the "GOP used to be the party of economic growth, fiscal discipline and limited government, but in recent years, too many Republicans have become just like the big spenders that they used to oppose."

You can thank Big Daddy Bush for part of that. If the Republicans quit the nanny-stating business and get back to basics, I'll be more than happy to support them again.

His Time Has Come

The Christian Socialists can't stand him, but he may have the last laugh come '08.

His party may have taken "a thumpin'," in the words of President Bush, but ABC News has learned that Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., and his political team have decided it's full steam ahead for his 2008 presidential campaign though he has yet to make the final, official decision.

Sources close to McCain say on Wednesday in Pheonix, he and a half dozen of his top aides huddled and decided to proceed more formally with his quest for the White House.

McCain told ABC News they will continue to meet and, "go through the process of decision making." But he added I, "certainly haven't made any decision."

Barring any unforseen circumstances, McCain will be the next Republican nominee for President. No matter how much the Christian Socialists might wish otherwise, people don't want four years of a Bush clone. The time to bring sanity back to the GOP is now, and McCain could be the guy to do it.

The Spirit Of '72

I wondered where this guy was.

Geoge McGovern, the former senator and Democratic presidential candidate, said Thursday that he will meet with more than 60 members of Congress next week to recommend a stategy to remove U.S. troops from Iraq by June.

If Democrats don't take steps to end the war in Iraq soon, they won't be in power very long, McGovern told reporters before a speech at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

"I think the Democratic leadership is wise enough to know that if they're going to follow the message that election sent, they're going to have to take steps to bring the war to a conclusion," he said.

There's no doubt that we at least need a new direction in Iraq, and the war's days may certainly be numbered now. There's also no question that taking advice from a guy who got his butt kicked by Nixon isn't maybe the best way to go about it.

The Stuff Of Life

Guess what? It turns out you might not be here if it hadn't been for global warming.

Hazy, smoggy skies on baby Earth could have provided the chemical building blocks of the very first life on our planet, according to a study of one of Saturn's moons.

Primoridal Earth likely had a layer of atmospheric haze, similar to the one currently on the moon Titan, that may have served as the principal reservoir of life's building blocks, according to the study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

One of Titan's most striking features is its thick hazy layer of organic aerosols, which arises from chemical reactions between the methane and nitrogen molecules high in the atmosphere, driven by ultraviolet light.

Prof Margaret Tolbert at the University of Colorado and colleagues mimicked Titan's chemistry by using UV lamps in various simulated atmospheres.

So it turns out that our own pollution may give rise to other forms of intelligent life someday. And no doubt they'll be blaming their situation on their SUV's.

Big Sky Loser

"Count all the votes! Count all the votes!" Sound familiar? I guess pulling an Al Gore is OK when a Republican does it.

HELENA-Defeated U.S. Sen. Conrad Burns, R-Mont., refused to concede Wednesday saying there remain votes yet to be counted in his tight race against the declared winner, Democrat Jon Tester.

Burns, who has not commented to reporters on the race since the votes were counted Tuesday night, released a statement at 1:47 p.m.

"Jon Tester ran a good race and he has the lead right now, but it is extremely close," Burns said. "The state of Montana has a process in place, and it is our obligation to see it through. There are still votes out there that deserve to be counted.

"I believe we need to continue to let that process play itself out, and there is no need to rush to a conclusion when the votes are this close."

Well if he wants some advice, Jon Carey knows there are still votes left in Ohio somewhere...please. The fat lady has not only sung, she has packed her bags and gone home. Learn to live with it.

Pledge Of Stupidity

The Democrats may have won, but that doesn't mean their constituents still don't deserve to get reamed. Like these idiots, for example.

Student leaders at a California college have touched off a furor by banning the Pledge of Allegiance at their meetings, saying they see no reason to publicly swear loyalty to God and the U.S. government.

The move by Orange Coast College student trustees, the latest clash over patriotism and religion in American schools, has infuriated some of their classmates-prompting one young woman to loudly recite the pledge in front of the board on Wednesday night in defiance of the rule.

"America is the one thing I'm passionate about and I can't let them take that away from me," 18-year-old political science major Christine Zoldos told Reuters.

Higher education-the stepping stone to greater things, like running for office. Ain't it grand?

Get Your Tinfoil Hats Ready

Well, I guess now we really have something to worry about.

UFO sightings and alien visitors tend to be solely the reserve of sci-fi movies.

So when a former MoD chief warns that the country could be attacked by extraterrestrials at any tine, ytou may be forgiven for feeling a little alarmed.

During his time as head of the Ministry of Defence UFO project, Nick Pope was persuaded into believing that other lifeforms may visit Eartth and, more specifically, Britain.

His concern is that "highly credible" sightings are simply dismissed.

(snip) "The consequences of getting this one wrong could be huge," he said.

"If you reported a UFO sighting now, I am absolutely sure that you would just get back a standard letter telling you not to worry. Frankly we are wide open-if something does not behave like a conventional aircraft, it will be ignored.

"The X-Files have been closed down."

Paging Fox Mulder...please pick up the courtesy phone...

The Hand Of Dad

Now this is indeed ironic.

Two years ago they were the pariahs of neoconservative Washington, a group of soft-spined old timers who refused to see that the only way to defeat America's enemies was with the lethal might of the US military.

But within hours of Donald Rumsfeld's enforced resignation on Wednesday, and in the clearest of signs that President Bush has turned to his father to dig him out of a mess in Iraq, the foreign policy "realists" who dominated US diplomacy in the 1990s have been suddenly restored to the helm.

In choosing Robert Gates, the former CIA Director, to replace Mr Rumsfeld as Defence Secretary, Mr Bush completed an extraordinary recall to duty for the White House foreign policy team that advised his father, while ending the influence of the neoconservatives who had disparaged them after Mr Bush took office in 2000.

(snip) Along with Mr Gates, Mr Bush has also turned to James Baker, the first President Bush's Secretary of State, to guide his foreign policy. He and Mr Gates sit on the Iraq Study Group-Mr Baker heads it-which is due to report shortly on how to proceed in Iraq.

Daddy really does know best, it seems. Will the son listen now and learn to behave for the next two years?

Bradley Signs Off

Wow. I wasn't expecting this.

Ed Bradley, the longtime "60 Minutes" correspondent whose probing questions and deceptively relaxed interviewing manner graced some of that show's most notable reports, has died. He was 65.

Bradley died Thursday at New York's Mount Sinai Hospital of leukemia, according to staff members at the CBS program.

Bradley joined "60 Minutes" during the 1981-82 season after two years as White House correspondent for CBS News and three years at "CBS Reports." His reporting over the years won him a Peabody Award, 19 Emmys and a Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award, among many others. He was honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Association of Black Journalists.

I didn't like the guy's politics but he was a heck of an interviewer and light years ahead of his colleagues. Hopefully he's giving history's famous the velvet glove treatment in Heaven now.

Gaymart

Here's another reason why the Republicans lost.

Wal-Mart, long pummeled by the political left, is taking additional flak from the right.

A conservative activist group is trying to recruit one million families who will refuse to shop at Wal-Mart or Sam's Club on the Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving, traditionally two of the busiest shipping days of the year.

The American Family Association is furious with Wal-Mart for reaching out to homosexual advocacy groups that support same-sex marriage.

The criticism began when Wal-Mart announced it would join the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. And now Wal-Mart has made a deal with the Washington DC Center for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender People, agreeing to donate 5 percent of the sales made through the group's website to the Center.

"Every purchase made online for books, music, videos, clothing and accessories, children's clothing and toys, and electronics at the site will automatically send 5% of the sales to the CCBLBT People," the AFA said in a message to its supporters.

Look, I don't agree with the gay lifestyle, but this type of nonsense never works. Hopefully, the outcome of the elections will send morons like the AFA back to the fringes where they belong.

The Real Reason

While everybody and his brother seems intent on blaming everything from liberatrians to the confluence of the planets for the GOP's butt-whuppin', Dick Armey gets it.

I've always wondered why Republicans insist on acting like Democrats in hopes of retaining political power, while Democrats act like us in order to win.

I've also wondered why Republicans let their fears and insecurities get in the way of important reforms. They missed the opportunity of a lifetime by failing to embrace retirement security based on personal ownership. Instead, from both parties we heard about "Saving Social Security"--to the extent we heard anything at all. Republicans should be for reforms that free individuals and their families from failed government programs. We should not be for "saving" failed government programs. When we took on welfare reform in 1995, we knew we were taking on a Goliath. Once we threw the first rock, we knew we had to finish the job. Otherwise, the worst claims of our opponents would have stuck us with future elections. With legislative success, the horrible accusations of our opponents were replaced with reduced welfare roles, and the individual dignity and self-suffiency that naturally followed.

In 2006, instead of heavy lifting on substantial reforms, House and Senate leaders attempted to rally their political base on wedge issues like illegal immigration and gay marriage. Instead of dealing with spending bills or security, the Senate dedicated two full legislative days to a constitutional ban on gay marriage that no one expected to pass. No substantive legislation was passed dealing seriously with border security and legitimate guest workers (funding for a 700 mile fence was finally authorized, but no funds were appropriated). In both instances, it was pure politics, designed to appeal to angry factions of the GOP base. While Republicans managed to hold conservative Christians, they alienated independents, who represented 26% of the voting population. For the first time in 10 years, independents sided with Democrats by a wide margin. Candidates that bet on the high demagogy coeeficient associated with illegal immigration, most notably in Arizona, lost.

You can't build a winning constituency based on anger. The American people expect more.

Bingo. Appealing only to a disgruntled minority that cares only about wedge issues is a recipe for electoral wipeouts. The GOP has a hard road ahead of it if it fails to learn from this.

The Final Battle

It's official.

Democrats completed an improbable double-barreled election sweep of Congress on Wednesday, taking control of the Senate with a victory in Virginia as they padded their day-old majority in the House.

Jim Webb's victory over Sen. George Allen in Virginia assured Democrats of 51 seats when the Senate convenes in January. That marked a gain of six in which the war in Iraq and President Bush were major issues.

Earlier, State Sen. Jon Tester triumphed over Republican Sen. Conrad Burns in a long, late count in Montana.

Let's consider this. Montana and Virginia are both very red states. Allen is a dyed-in-the-wool Bush clone and he has lost. Meanwhile, John McCain can pretty much write his own ticket. The moral? When red states go blue, it's because the Bush wannabes have stepped in their own poo.

Kicked To The Curb

Among other things, the voters told the Christian Socialists to take a hike on Tuesday.

From the country's heartland, voters sent messages that altered America's culture wars and dusmayed the religious right-defending abortion rights in South Dakota, endorsing stem cell research in Missouri, and, in a national first, rejecting a same-sex marriage ban in Arizona.

Conservative leaders were jolted by the setbacks and looked for an explanation Wednesday. Gay-rights and abortion-rights activists celebrated.

The verdict on abortion rights was particularly clear. Oregon and California voters defeated measures that would have required parents to be notified before a girl under 18 could get an abortion, and South Dakotans-by a large margin of 56 percent to 44 percent-rejected a new state law that would have banned all abortions except to save a pregnant woman's life.

While I don't agree with the vote in California, it proves that social issues are best decided at the local level. Welcome to democracy, Fundies. I hope you choke on it.

Out With The Old

He's gone.

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld stepped down as defense secretary on Wednesday, one day after midterm elections in which opposition to the Iraq War contributed to heavy Republican losses.

President Bush said he would nominate Robert Gates, a former CIA director, to replace Rumsfeld at the Pentagon.

Asked whether his announcement signaled a new direction in the war that has claimed the lives of more than 2,800 U.S. troops, Bush said, "Well, there's certainly going to be new leadership at the Pentagon."

Old Defense Secretaries are never fired-they just fade away...

The Real Winner

So guess who actually came out ahead after the bloodbath?

Sen. John McCain emerged from yesterday's elections as one of Republicans' only winners as Democrats made solid gains and both parties turn an eye toward 2008.

The Arizona Republican, who wasn't up for re-election, rallied to the side of Republican candidates at 131 events--a strong showing that displayed his rising popularity. His strength was underscored MOnday when Charles Crist, Florida's new Republican governer, chose to skip a scheduled rally with President Bush for an event with Mr. McCain.

"There's going to be a batch of people who are going to personally owe McCain and there's going to be another batch of people who are going to have to rethink their view of him," said Michael McKenna, a republican strategist and pollster.

McCain is now the face of the GOP. Deal with it.

Taken To The Woodshed

Didn't I say this would happen?

WASHINGTON (AP)-Democrats captured four of the six Republican-held seats they needed to take control of the Senate, winning critical contests in Ohio, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania and Missouri, and inched closer Wednesday to erasing the GOP's majority.

Seizing on voter discontent with President Bush and the war in Iraq, Democrats mounted challenges for two remaining Republican-held seats in Virginia and Montana-and were ahead in both. But in Virginia, Democratic challenger James Webb's lead over Republican incumbant George Allen was razor thin and a recount was likely.

Republicans and Democrats both dispatched lawyers to Virginia to tally uncounted absentee ballots Wednesday, as well as canvass votes counted on Election Day.

This was a butt-whipping of the first order. The best lesson the GOP could take from this is that more of the same is not the way to keep voters' faith. People wanted change, the GOP, following Bush's lead, did not listen, and they paid the price. You dance with those that brung you, or you dance alone.

The Fat Lady Warms Up

I hate to say I told you so.

WASHINGTON (AP)-Resurgent Democrats toppled Republican senators in Pennsylvania, Ohio and Rhode Island and gained ground in the House Tuesday, challenging for control of Congress in midterm elections shaped by an unpopular war in Iraq and scandal at home.

Aided by public dissatisfaction with President Bush, Democrats won gubernatorial races in New York, Ohio and Massachusetts for the first time in more than a decade.

Charlie Crist was a bright spot for Republicans, keeping the Florida governorship now held by the president's brother Jeb in GOP hands.

Nevertheless, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of California-in line to become the first woman speaker in history if her party wins control-said as the returns rolled in, "We are on the brink of a great Democratic victory."

And the Republicans have no one to blame for it but themselves. By putting fundamentalist ideology over basic common sense, they became their own worst enemy.

News From The Front

With the first returns coming in, it looks like it is not going to be a good night for the GOP. Casey ahead in PA; Allen and Webb neck and neck. Strickland apparently winning in Ohio; Sherrod Brown defeating DeWine.

More as the night progresses; stay tuned!

Update:

Fox seems to have called NJ for Menendez; Corker ahead in TN, Lieberman wins in CT. Steele and Talent lose in MD and MO, respectively. Santorum loses in PA.

Update:

As expected, the GOP is getting its ass reamed tonight. This is what you get for six years of broken promises and lip service while kowtowing to religious wingnuts. I must also say that Joe Lieberman is a class act and I hope Lamont chokes on it.

Day Of The Droogs

Ultraviolence, Egyptian style.

Egyptians are horrified by the news that women have been assaulted by hordes of young men in the centre of the capitol, Cairo.

The incidents were first reported online by Egyptian bloggers, some of whom saw large numbers of men harassing the women and ripping off their clothes.

(snip) One blogger who took pictures of what happened dubbed the incidents "sexual voracity down town."

According to the bloggers, the attackers targeted veiled as well as unveiled women who happened to be on their own.

(snip) The bloggers blamed the incidents on widespread sexual frustration among Egypt's youths.

Most of them cannot afford to get married and premarital sex is strictly forbidden.

Poor, raised in a puritannical belief system, and sexually frustrated. In this country we call them evangelical preachers.

Releasing Your Inner Woman

I wonder which Bloomberg would choose.

Separating anatomy from what it means to be a man or a woman, New York City is moving forward with a plan to let people alter the sex on their birth certificate even if they have not had sex-change surgery.

Under the rule being considered by the city's Board of Health, which is likely to be adopted soon, people born in the city would be able to change the documented sex on their birth certificates by providing affadavits from a doctor and a mental health professional laying out why their patients should be considered members of the opposite sex.

Applicants would have to have changed their name and shown that they had lived in their adopted gender for at least two years, but there would be no explicit medical requirements.

Maybe Ted Haggard should consider moving...

Revenge Of The Machines

It has begun.

Voting machines began wreaking havoc the minute the polls opened Tuesday, delaying voters in dozens of Indiana and Ohio precints and leaving some in Florida with little choice but to turn to paper ballots instead.

In Cleveland, voters rolled their eyes as election workers fumbled with new voting machines that they couldn't get to start properly.

"We got five machines-one of them's got to work," said Willette Scullank, a trouble shooter from the Cuyahoga County, Ohio, elections board.

The Dummycrats were the ones who wanted these things. Let them deal with explaining to their constituents why their votes weren't counted this time around.

Indecision 2006

The fated day has arrived, when the seas will boil, the dead shall walk the earth, the sky will turn red like blood, there will be cats and dogs, living together...yes, it's election day! Results from the most important races will be posted as they become available. Let's get rrrready to rrrrrumble!

With Constituents Like These...

Well, I guess this makes it official, then.

WASHINGTON-"The Nov. 7 midterm elections are less than six weeks away. The stakes have never been so high: Control of the House and Senate and governerships nationwide. A recent poll shows that 75 percent of voters are disgusted by the Republican majority House and Senate, the highest disapproval rate since 1994. They are frustrated at Bush's endless Iraq war, by Republican cronyism and corruption, tax giveaways to the rich, cutbacks in vital services, and criminal negligence in the wake of Hurricane Katrina."

A last-minute pitch by the Democratic National Committee for a sweep in tomorrow's midterm congressional elections?

No. It's an official appeal by the National Board of the Communist Party USA on behalf of Democrats. In fact, all of the energies and resources of the Communist Party are being diverted to support of the Democratic Party in tomorrow's election, according to the CPUSA's official website.

And then there's this:

National leaders in the Democratic Party, including Howard Dean's Democratic National Committee, potential House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, possible presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and longtime party stalwart Ted Kennedy don't want to talk with WorldNetDaily about an endorsement their party has received.

The endorsement came via a WND article by Jerusalem bureau chief Aaron Klein, who interviewed leaders of several prominent Mideast terrorist organizations, including Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades and Islamic Jihad.

"Of course Americans should vote Democrat," Jihad Jaara, a senior member of the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades terror group, and infamous leader of the 2002 siege of Bethlehem's Church of the Nativity, told WND.

"This is why American Muslims will support the Democrats, because there is an stmosphere in America that encourages those who want to withdraw from Iraq. It is time that the American people support those who want to take them out of this Iraqi mud," said Jaara, speaking to WND from exile in Ireland, where he was sent as part of an internationally brokered deal that ended the church siege.

Well there you go. As bad as the Republicans are, and as much as they deserve to be criticized for abandoning conservatism, no one can ever accuse them of siding with America's enemies. This is how low the modern Democratic party has sunk-the bad guys are taking all of their talking points. Or is it the other way around?

The Neville Chamberlain Brigade Speaks

It's because the death penalty is so icky, they say.

The European Union urged Iraq on Sunday not to carry out the death sentence passed on Iraq's former leader Saddam Hussein after his conviction for crimes against humanity.

"The EU opposes capital punishment in all cases and under all circumstances and it should not be carried out in this case either," Finland, current holder of the rotating EU presidency, said in a statement.

The statement offered no direct comment on the outcome of the trial but did say, however, that the EU had repeatedly condemned "the systematic, widespread and extremely grave violations of human rights and of international humanitarian law committed by the regime of Saddam Hussein."

Yeah, and I couldn't help but notice that you guys wouldn't do anything about him, either. It's a good thing Iraq isn't part of Europe so they can say FU to the EU.

Ac-Cen-Tuate The Negative

As expected, the MSM are working overtime to find something, anything, in the Saddam verdict that can help their side.

Here's an antidote from an unlikely corner for all the Dem outrage at the 'November surprise' of the Saddam verdict. On this morning's 'Today,' none other than Chris Matthews just pronounced his considered opinion that the verdict actually helps...the Democrats.

According to Matthews, given the unpopularity of the war, anything that draws attention to Iraq hurts Republicans. Apparently that even extends to a good-news story such as the Saddam verdict. Opined Matthews to host Lester Holt:

"One general rule would be anything that brings attention to Iraq is bad for the Republicans. I think Iraq's become a four-letter word for the voter. And this trial and condemnation of Saddam Hussein is probably going to remind us of Iraq again. It's probably going to help the Democrats to some extent."

More predictable was the analysis over at CNN, where a skeptical Susan Roesgen asked Suxanne Malveaux:

"What about critics, especially in Iraq, even Saddam Hussein's chief lawyer, who say the verdict was timed to come out just before the election to help the GOP?"

Well, if Saddam's lawyer said it, that should surely be good enough for CNN!

Yep, you can always count on the Lamestream Media to put a damper on anyone's parade. If they'd been around during the end of WW2, they'd be accusing the Allies of encouraging Hitler's depression when he took himself out.

Hell Awaits

It's official: Saddam Hussein is going to join his two hellspawn.

Baghdad-The Iraqi High Tribunal on Sunday found Saddam Hussein guilty of crimes against humanity and sentenced him to death by hanging.

Hussein's former vice-president Taha Yassin Ramadan was sentenced to life impriosnment for his role in the killings of 148 Shi'a villagers.

Saddam, hopefully you will soon be facing the sort of punishments you used to hand out to your victims on a daily basis. May it last for all eternity, you scumbag.

Necktie Party

Bring a rope, boys.

SUPPORTERS of Saddam Hussein have warned of a "firestorm" of violence if he is found guilty of crimes against humanity today and sentenced to death.

Iraqi officials ordered the closure of Baghdad's international airport in a massive security clampdown ahead of the verdict. If convicted, Saddam could face hanging.

Nouri al-Maliki, the prime minister, went on television to appeal for calm last night. He called on Iraqis to celebrate a guilty vercict in a way that "does not risk their lives." He added: "We hope that the verdict will give this man what he deserves for the crimes he committed against the Iraqi people." Maliki has previously said that Saddam should hang.

Hey, Saddam! Enjoy being turned on a spit and slowly cooked for all eternity, you worthless piece of excrement.

Update:

The verdict is in:

Saddam Hussein: Death by Hanging, along with his freak half-brother. Rot in hell, you bastards.

Atomic Arabs

You can thank Abby Dinnerjacket for this.

THE SPECTRE of a nuclear arms race in the Middle East was raised yesterday when six Arab states announced that they were embarking on programmes to master atomic technology.

The move, which follows the failure by the West to curb Iran's controveresial nuclear programme, could see a rapid spread of nuclear reactors in one of the world's most unstable regions, stretching from the Gulf to the Levant and into North Africa.

The countries involved were named by the International Atomic energy Agency (IAEA) as Algeria, Egypt, Morocco and Saudi Arabia. Tunisia and the UAE have also shown interest.

When the Middle East is one big sheet of glass, I hope the world doesn't mind if we go in and take the oil.

Render Unto Caesar

My heart bleeds.

Pensacola evangelist and tax protester Kent Hovind winked at his wife and gave her a reassuring smile as he was led away to jail.

Jo Hovind clutched the necktie he had been wearing. She kept her eyes on her husband until he was out of sight.

Kent Hovind, founder of Christian Science Evangelism and Dinosaur Adventure Land in Pensacola, was found guilty of 58 counts, including failure to pay $845,000 in employee-related taxes. He faces a maximum of 288 years in prison.

(snip) Kent Hovind, whose life's mission is to debunk evolution, says he and his employees are workers of God and therefore exempt from paying taxes. He pays his employees in cash and does not withhold their taxes or pay his share as an employer.

May I suggest a new name for Mr. Hovind: Fraudasaurus Dontdropthesoapasaurus.

A Fishy Story

It looks like there may be enough brain food to go around after all.

Global fishing trends point to a collapse of most wild seafood harvests by midcentury, according to a team of international researchers who poured through historical data, catch records and studies to document the decline of marine species all over the world.

(snip) But other scientists question that forecast.

"It's just mind-boggling stupid," said Ray Hilborn, a University of Washington professor of aquatic and fishery sciences.

"I'm worried about some areas of the world-like Africa-but other areas of the world have figured out how to do effective fishery management."

For example, most of the harvests in the North Pacific off Alaska-where most Seattle fleets fish-are not in sharp decline.

So hold off on hoarding your salmon. Your fish sticks will be around for a while yet.

Sheik Yer Booty

It seems that being a wealthy camel jockey isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Known as a modest and pious man, Saudi King Abdullah has been hearing steady reports of a sharp decline in morals in his country.

In Jeddah, the Mawadda Social and Family Reconciliation And Counseling Center has been processing requests for help from thousands of married couples on the verge of breaking up, Middle East Newsline reported. The threat is not divorce, heavily frowned upon in the kingdom, but of the husband establishing a second home with a concubine or a prostitute.

"Our youth are not, unfortunately, educated on the importance of leading a secure married life," said Hassan Al Shelabi, the center director. "While the parents are keen to give their children luxury homes, rich food and fashionable clothing they neglect to prepare the children for a healthy married life and being good husbands or wives."

We have the idle rich in this country, too-but most of them grow up to become politicians.

Reverend Buttboy

Oh, my. This is getting good.

The president of the National Association of Evangelicals, who has resigned amid allegations that he had sex with a former self-described male prostitute, has admitted to buying methamphetamines from the man, but denied that he had used the drug or had sex with the man.

"I called him to buy some meth, but I threw it away. I bought it for myself but never used it," the Rev Ted Haggard said today to a reporter for KUSA who interviewed him as he was leaving his Colorado Springs, Colo., home. "I was tempted, but I never used it."

He said he threw out the drug without using it.

Haggard said he got a massage from the man, 49-year-old Mike Jones, after receiving a recommendation from a Denver motel, but said he never had sex with him.

Meanwhile, God said, "You fool! I said bow for forgiveness, not blow for more hits!"

"We Can't Do This To Us!"

Along with John Kerry's lack of class, the Democrats' own base may now be turning on them.

National Democrats have abandoned their anti-war Senate candidate in Connecticut, say liberal bloggers who earlier this year were heavily courted by top Democrats in their quest to take over Congress.

Democratic nominee Ned Lamont-darling of the left-wing blogopshere-now trails Sen. Joe Lieberman by 10 points or more, and the highly energized bloggers who helped him win the nomination in August blame the national party.

Matt Stoller, a District-based blogger, wondered this week why Mr. Lamont is getting trounced.

"Well there are a number of reasons, but among the most prominent is the total abandonment of Lamont by the party establishment," he wrote in a blog posting at Direct Democracy (www.mydd.com). "Let's be very clear-this is not Lamont that they are abandoning, it's the party primary voters that they are abandoning."

(snip) Liberal vitriol in recent weeks has been directed at some of the Democratic Party's most beloved figures, such as former President Bill Clinton, Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada, Sen. Charles E. Schumer of New York and even rising star Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois.

"We have all been angry for some years now about being stabbed in the back by the Democratic Party in Washington," liberal blogger Sandra Yolles wrote in the comment field to Mr. Stoller's post. "We are angry that they have not fought for our values, for our ideals, for our Constitution, for honest elections, for the people who elected them."

You mean to say that you've found out you were being (gasp!) used to win votes? That your heroes are in fact cynical and corrupt? I am shocked! Sigh. See what happens when you let moonbats take over your party base? The GOP might not be this dysfunctional yet, but they're getting there.

Pulling Out

It was fun while it lasted.

A senior executive for Microsoft has said the firm could pull out of non-democratic countries such as China.

Fred Tipson, senior policy counsel for the computer giant, said concerns over the repressive regime might force it to reconsider its buisness in China.

"Things are getting bad...and perehaps we have to look again at our presence there," he told a conference in Athens.

"We have to decide if the persecuting of bloggers reaches a point that it's unacceptable to do business there."

Dang. All that hard work in trying to find cheap labor down the drain...

He Set Us Up The Bomb

Well looky here.

When I saw the headline on Drudge earlier tonight, that the New York Times had a big story coming out tomorrow that had something to do with Iraq and WMDs, I was ready for an October November Surprise.

Well, Drudge is giving us the scoo. And if it's meant to be a slam-Bush story, I think the Times may have overthunk this:

U.S. POSTING OF IRAQ NUKE DOCS ON WEB COULD HAVE HELPED IRAN...

NYT REPORTING FRIDAY, SOURCES SAY: Federal government set up Web site-Operation Iraqi Freedom Document Portal-to make public a vast archive of Iraqi documents captured during the war; detailed accounts of Iraq's secret nuclear research; a 'basic guide to building an atomic bomb'...Officials of the International Atomic Energy Agency fear the information could help Iran develop nuclear arms...contain charts, diagrams, equations and lengthy narratives about bomb building that the nuclear experts say go beyond what is available elsewhere on the Internet and in other public forums...

Website now shut...Developing...

I'm sorry, did the New York Times just put on the front page that IRAQ HAD A NUCLEAR WEAPONS PROGRAM AND WAS PLOTTING TO BUILD AN ATOMIC BOMB?

What? Wait a minute. The entire mantra of the war critics has been "no WMDs, no WMDs, no threat, no threat", for the past three years solid. Now we're being told that the Bush administration erred by making public information that could help any nation build an atomic bomb.

The Lamestream Media can't have it both ways. Either Saddam wasn't a threat, or he was in which case they can't help the loony left whine that Bush lied. Like John Kerry and his "Botched joke," this is one they can't spin their way out of.

Running On Empty

Let me guess: This guy is a John Kerry fan.

A U.S. Army soldier who fled to Canada rather than return to Iraq has disappeared again, this time just a day after surrendering to the military.

Pvt. Kyle Snyder, 23, of Colorado Springs, Colo., told The Associated Press he was supposed to return by bus to Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., Louisville on Tuesday but didn't go. He said he went AWOL after Fort Knox officials told him he would be sent back to his unit, the 94th Engineer Battalion.

Snyder returned to the United States on Saturday, after his lawyer said he had reached a deal to receive an other-than-honorable dishcarge.

Tell you what-when they do catch this guy again, send his ass where he can do the most good for his country. Like out on the firing range-as a target.

Schwing!

Nothing says lovin' like a hypocrite caught shovelin'.

The leader of the influential National Association of Evangelicals, a vocal opponent of the drive for same-sex marriage, resigned Thursday after being accused of paying for sex with a man.

The Rev. Ted Haggard also stepped aside as head of his 14,000-member New Life Church while a church panel investigates, saying he could "not continue to minister under the cloud created by the accusations."

The investigation came after a 49-year-old man told a Denver radio station that Haggard paid him to have sex.

Let's hear it for the GOP base!

The Ministry Of Silly Publications

Oh my Gawd. The UK is losing its damn mind.

A council confirmed today that it has scrapped a training document which bans workers from using words such as policeman and fireman.

The outlawed words were included in a training book entitled Equality Essentials produced by Kirklees Council.

Banned words included chairman, fireman and policeman because they did not include women.

The word "ethnic" was also vetoed because it was not "appropriately descriptive."

There was also a section attacking the term "political correctness."

Who knew George Orwell was writing future history back in the 1940's? Unreal.

Swindletown

Does this guy know Harry Reid?

NEW YORK-A senior United Nations official who used his influence to steer contracts worth more than $50 million to a man who rewarded him with valuable real estate was arrested Wednesday, prsoecutors said.

Sanjaya Bashel, of Manhattan, was charged in an indictment unsealed in a U.S. District Court.

Bahel, a former Indian official, and chief of the commodity procurement section of the U.N.'s Procurement Division until 2003, is chief of the Commercial Activities Service in the U.N. Postal Administration. He has been suspended without pay since August.

Bahel, 55, was accused of accepting city real estate as a reward to assist Nishan Kohli in getting contracts. Kohli was arrested Wednesday in Miami.

I don't know who the bigger scammer is here-the guy who worked for the U.N., or his buddy.

The Homer Simpson Health Plan

Fat, drunk and stupid is the way to go through life, after all!

Huge amounts of a red wine extract seemed to help obease mice eat a high-fat diet and still live a long and healthy life, suggests a new study that some experts are calling "landmark" research.

The big question is, can it work the same magic in humans?

Scientists say it's far too early to start swilling barrels of red wine. But they are calling the latest research promising and even "spectacular."

The srudy by the Harvard Medical School and the National Institute of Aging shows that heavy doses of red wine extract lowers the rate of diabetes, liver problems and other fat-related ill effedcts in obese mice.

So according to this, Ted Kennedy must be the healthiest human being on Earth.

Meatheads

Muslim men are horndogs. Of course it's not their fault.

All the debate about Muslims and the veil has centered around women. What should they wear and how should they wear it? Perhaps it's time we looked at what the veil tells us about Muslim men.

The Koran is little help. The verse cited in support of women wearing headscarves or veils is hardly specific. "And say to the believing women to cast down their eyes, and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment save such as is outward." Muslim scholars have argued ever since about what precisely that means.

The presumption, though, is that immodest dress, however defined, will inflame men's lust. But more extreme Muslim clerics suggest also that if it does, it is the woman who is to blame. Sheikh Taj Adin al-Hilali, the Mufti of Australia, recently preached: "If you take uncovered meat and place it outside...and the cats come to eat it...whose fault is it, the cats' or the uncovered meat's? The incovered meat is the problem. If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab, no problem would have occured."

For a society that seems so afraid of women, they sure seem to think about them a lot. Horny is as horny does.

We Have A Winnah

Well now, isn't this special?

TEHRAN, Iran-Iran awarded a Moroccan artist Wednesday the top prize in an exhibition of cartoons on the Holocaust that has received international concemnation, including from U.N. chief Kofi Annan.

Meant to be a response to the Danish cartoons of Islam's Prophet Muhammad that sparked rage among Muslims around the world, the exhibit appears inspired by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's tirades calling for Israel to be destroyed.

Tehran has several times announced plans to host a conference to examine the scientific evidence supporting the Holocaust, dismissing it as exaggerated. Its most recent announcement came in September during Annan's visit to the Iranian capital, where he said he discussed the cartoon show with officials.

Abby Dinnerjacket is a pimple just begging to be popped. Hopefully that day will come sooner rather than later.

Who's Sorry Now

Call me crazy, but I don't think most people will buy a word of what Lurch says.

WASHINGTON Nov 1, 2006 (AP)-Thrust into the midst of the midterm election campaign, Sen. John Kerry apologized Wednesday to "any service member, family member or American" offended by remarks deemed by Republicans and Democrats alike to be insulting to U.S. forces in Iraq.

Six days before the election, the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee said he sincerely regretted his words were "misinterpreted to imply anything negative about those in uniform."

In a brief statement, Kerry attacked President Bush for a "failed security policy." Yet his apology, issued after prominent Democrats had urged him to cancel public appearances, was designed to quell a controversy that party leaders feared would stall their drive for big gains on Nov. 7.

And to think some people wanted this douchebag to be President.