Snarf!

"One is a genius, the other is insane."

SCIENTISTS have created the world's first schizophrenic mice in an attempt to gain a better understanding of the illness.

It is believed to be the first time an animal has been genetically engineered to have a mental illness. Until now they have been bred only for research into physical conditions such as heart disease. It will allow researchers to study the disease and develop treatments using a limitless supply of laboratory animals.

Animal rights campaigners have condemned the research, saying that it is morally repugnant to create an animal doomed to mental suffering.

Maybe they're right. After all, there are plenty of mentally ill liberals around; why not use them as test subjects? They could even be observed in their natural habitat, and their fellow liberals probably wouldn't even notice the difference.