Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Moon Rules

Just remember, they have five thousand dimensions.
BOSTON (Reuters)-Turner Broadcasting apologized on Wednesday for a marketing campaign that sparked Boston's biggest security scare since the September 11, 2001, attacks-closing bridges, shutting major roads and putting hundreds of police on alert.

The day-long scare began when a suspicious package was found on a steel beam under a bridge in the morning. Police stopped traffic on a major interstate highway north of Boston, cordoned off the area, deployed a bomb squad and blew it up.

By afternoon, at least eight other similar suspicious packages were discovered, each triggering a security alert involving emergency crews, federal agents, bomb squads, police and the U.S. Coast Guard.
As the Mooninites themselves would say, fear is for poor people.

Mr. Clean

Oh, Democrats, please nominate this fool.
WASHINGTON (CNN)-Sen. Joe Biden planned to spend Wednesday focusing on his official announcement that he was running for president, but the Delaware Democrat instead found himself defending remarks he made to the New York Observer about his Democratic opponents.

In the article published Wednesday, Biden is quoted evaluating presidential rivals Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-New York, former Sen. John Edwards, D-North Carolina, and Sen. Barack Obama, D-Illinois. His remarks about Obama, the only African-American serving in the Senate, drew the most scrutiny.

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy," Biden said. "I mean, that's a storybook, man."
And a credit to his race too, I'll bet.

Heil Hugo

Well, all I can say is I hope they're happy.
CARACAS, Venezuela (AP)-President Hugo Chavez was granted free rein Wednesday to accelerate changes in broad areas of society bu presidential decree-a move critics said propels Venezuela toward dictatorship.

Convening in a downtown plaza in a session that resembled a political rally, lawmakers unanimously gave Chavez sweeping powers to legislate by decree and impose his radical vision of a more egalitarian socialist state.

"Long live the sovereign people! Long live President Hugo Chavez! Long live socialism!" said National Assembly President Cilia Flores as she proclaimed the "enabling law" approved by a show of hands. "Fatherland, socialism or death! We will prevail!"
But remember, lefties-Bush is still Hitler, right?

John Paul: The Omen

This is as about as weird as it gets.
World's Last Chance, a group that takes reading the Bible to all-new-extremes, claims to be "exposing one of the last unfulfilled prophecies of the Bible. Specifically, World's Last Chance believes that they have found clues within scripture that suggest Pope John Paul II is coming back...and will be the next pope after Benedict XVI.

That's right, as crazy as it sounds, they believe that Pope John Paul II is going to magically appear here on earth and make our lives hell. With folks like this, it's no wonder that Christians get a bum rap.

"How will the next pope be John Paul II?" saus Dahlia Doss of World's Last Chance, "According to the book of Revelation in the Bible, chapter 17, it will appear to the entire world that John Paul II has returned from heaven, but in reality, this phenomenon, as prophesied, whill be a demon impersonating the deceased John Paul II."
Not to worry! Elvis will also return in the nick of time and save us all.

Girly Boys

I think this qualifies as too much information.
Three young boys grew breat tissue after exposure to lotions and shampoos containing lavender or tea oil, researchers say.

It is not uncommon for boys to develop breast tissue during puberty or just after, but the boys affected by the plant oils were aged four, seven and 10.

The natural oils may be "gender-bending" chemicals mimicking effects of the female hormone, oestrogen, the findings suggest. The boys were otherwise normal, and lost the breast tissue within months of discontinuing the products.
So I guess this explains Al Gore...

The 10th Century Meets The 21st

A word of advice: Those who want to live in the Dark Ages shouldn't tick off those who don't.
Fleeing Iraqi insurgents downed by artificial ice sprayed on the road; an angry mob in Afghanistan dispersed by non-lethal ray gun blasts. This is the future of US weaponry, at least for the Pentagon's high-tech arms research division.

The space-age weapons of Star Wars are not beyond the imagination of researchers at DARPA, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency of the US Department of Defense.

The agency sponsors research into numorous aspects of military operations, particularly technology, it says, "where risk and payoff are both very high and where success may provide dramatic advances for traditional military roles and missions."
So, while Abby Dinnerjacket awaits the freeing of the Imam from the well and Osama rots in a cave, we'll be hunting down their proxies with high-tech Yankee ingenuity. Have fun with your Jihad while you can, boys.

A, B, Ohhhm...

Well, at least these kids will be mellow during lunch hour.
SAN FRANCISCO-In Tara Gubar's ideal world, American children would meditate in the lotus position and chant in Sanskrit before taking stressful standardized tests.

But when she asked a public elementary school in Aspen, Colo., to teach yoga in 2002, Christian fundamentalists and even some secular parents lobbied the school board. They argued that yoga's Hindu roots conflicted with Christian teachings and that using it in school might violate the separation of church and state/

Portrayed as a New Age nut out to brainwash young minds, Gubar crafted a curriculum that eliminated chanting and translated Sanskrit into simple English. Yogic panting became "bunny breathing," and "meditation" became "time in."
Well, I'm sure if she'd added lessons about dinosaurs and humans living together and how to talk to your two dads, the left and the right would have left her alone.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hot Blooded

Darn those unintended consequences.
MIAMI (Reuters)-When 75,000 football fans pack into Dolphin Stadium in Miami for the Super Bowl on February 4, at least a few may want to carry notes from their doctors explaining why they're radioactive enough to set of "dirty bomb" alerts.

With the rising use of radioisotopes in medicine and the growing yse of radiation detectors in a security-conscious nation, patients are triggering alarms in places where they may not even realize they're being scanned, doctors and security officials say.

Nearly 60,000 people a day in the United States undergo treatment or tests that leave tiny amounts of radioactive material in their bodies, according to the Society of Nuclear Medicine. It is not enough to hur them or anyone else, but it is enough to trigger radiation alarms for up to three months.
The next time somebody says, "You da bomb," make sure your doctor said it was OK.

The Gathering

It's a meeting of the mindless.
A NEW worldwide movement backed by celebrities, musicians, politicians and business leaders is aiming to reverse the effects of global warming over the next decade.

Global Cool launched in London and LA today and is calling on one billion people to reduce their carbon emissions by just one tonne a year, for the next 10 years.

(snip) Big names including Leonardo Di Caprio, Orlando Bloom, KT Tunstall, Pink, The Killers, Razorlight and Josh Hartnett have thrown their weight behind the worldwide effort to beat climate change.
Well, it's so nice to know these qualified experts are involved.

The King's Rebellion

Not so fast, George.
A Senate Republican on Tuesday directly challenged President Bush's declaration that "I am the decision-maker" on issues of war.

"I would suggest respectfully to the president that he is not the sole decider," Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., said during a hearing on Congress' war powers amid an increasingly harsh debate over Iraq war policy. "The decider is a shared and joint responsibility."
Ah, but if you're George Bush, you can claim to be a King who can do whatever he wants. Hasn't Mr. Specter been paying attention to the Bushbot memos?

Al Be Seeing You

Well this is just too darn bad.
Air America Radio was rescued from bankruptcy yesterday, but still faces the impending loss of Al Franken, its most popular talker.

The liberal network will be sold to Stephen Green, a Manhattan real estate investment mogul with heavy Democratic ties, including his brother Mark Green, who ran for mayor against Michael R. Bloomberg in 2001. The sale of the network-deemed a "personal investment"-by the two brothers-will be completed in mid-February for an undisclosed sum.
Sorry, Stuart. You're not good enough, you're not smart enough, and gosh darn it, nobody likes you.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Be Pessimistic Or Else

We're doomed, whether it's true or not. The envirowhackos say so!
WASHINGTON-Later this week in Paris, climate scientists will issue a dire forecast for the planet that warns of slowly rising sea levels and higher temperatures. But that may be the sugarcoated version.

Early and changeable drafts of their upcoming authoritative report on climate change foresee smaller sea level rises than were projected in 2001 in the last report. Many top U.S. scientists reject those rosier numbers. Those calculations don't include the recent, and dramatic, melt-off of big ice sheets in two crucial locations.

They "don't take into account the gorillas-Greenland and Antarctica," said Ohio State University earth sciences professor Lonnie Thompson, a polar ice specialist. "I think there are unpleasant surprises as we move into the 21st century."
That's the trouble with Mother Nature. She's too busy doing things her own way to listen to the demands of the greenies.

Party On, Dudes

They're having a party, and Fidel's not invited.
MIAMI-The city of Miami is planning an official celebration at the Orange Bowl whenever Cuban president Fidel Castro dies.

Discussions by a committee appointed earlier this month by the city commission to plan the event have even covered issues such as a theme to be printed on T-shirts, what musicians would perform, the cost and how long the celebration would last.

Such a gathering has long been a part of the city's plan for Castro's death, but firming up the specifics has become much more urgent since Castro became ill last summer and turned over power to his brother, Raul.
When the blessed day comes, I'll be there in spirit. Viva Cuba!

The Unstoppable Delusion

Fidel Jr. wants the world to know: You can't keep a good Communist down.
President Hugo Chavez denied Sunday that his lef-leaning government would seize private property-such as second homes and expensive cars-from the wealthy and called on Venezuelans not to fear his accelerated push toward socialism.

But Chavez also warned political opponents that "nothing would stop" the progress of what he calls "21st century socialism," saying a majority of Venezuelans want to gradually move away from capitalism.

"Nobody should allow themselves to be imbued with fear. If anybody should be scared, we should be scared of capitalism, which destroys society, people and the planet," Chavez said during his weekly television and radio program "Hello President."
He's going to run his country into the ground because that's what the people want! Viva La Revolution!

This One's For Bubba

Oh, come on. We all know who she was talking about.
DAVENPORT, Iowa-Hillary Rodham Clinton left caucus-goers here yesterday believing that Bubba had given her a baptism by fire in how to deal with "evil and bad men."

Clinton's quip, made during a morning rally with about 500 Iowans, drew 31 seconds of straight laughter and applause that left little doubt among attendees that she'd at hubby bill Clinton's expense.

The one-liner came in response to a question shouted at the former first lady from the audience asking whether she had the mettle and experience to deal with evil and rotten men-like terrorist Osama bin Laden and the tyrants of North Korea and Iran.

Clinton grabbed the mike and told the audience that the questioner wanted to know "what in my background equips me to deal with evil and bad men." She then smiled, raised her eyebrows and nodded knowingly at the questioner.
Of course she knows. She and her hubby hired enough of them to hide the bodies over the years.

Ebony And Allah

Well, why not?
LONDON (Reuters)-Jermaine Jackson said on Monday he wants his brother Michael to convert to Islam; and he believes the reclusive superstar has given it some serious thought.

"Michael, I feel, needs to become a Muslim because I think it's a great protection for him from all the things that he's been attacked with, which are false," said the former Jackson Five singer who now lives in Bahrain.

"There's a strength and protection there," Jackson told BBC Aisan Network after finishing runner-up to Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty in the "Celebrity Big Brother" TV reality show that was marred by accusations of racist bullying.

Jackson said he believed his brother had given conversion "serious thought" during long spells in Bahrain.
It makes sense. Jacko already has enough protection from reality; a little more won't make any difference.

Now I Learn My Language-Neutral Letters

George Orwell had nothing on today's politicians.
Children will be taught race relations and multiculturalism with every subject they study-from Spanish to science-under controversial changes to the school curriculum announced by the Government.

In music and art, they could have to learn Indian and Chinese songs and instruments, and West African drumming.

In maths and science, key Muslim contributions such as algebra and the number zero will be emphasized to counter Islamophobia.
Winston Churchill must be spinning in his grave.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Undt Now Ve Vill Talk About Jihad

Meet the Muslim version of Dr. Ruth.
LONDON-The Arab world's first Muslim sexologist is breaking boundaries with a sex education television show that has taken the Middle East by storm.

Dr. Heba Kotb, 39, devotes "Serious Talk," broadcast weekly on the independent Egyptian satellite channel Al Mehwar, to answering intimate sexual questions posed by curious young Arab men and women.

The Egyptian doctor, who runs a sex clinic in Cairo, discusses topics usually unthinkable within conservative Arab societies: different sexual positions, the female orgasm and problems such as impotence-all with an Islamic perspective.
"So vhen you lift up ze veil, you vill be able to see ze skin undt ze arousal you vill feel vill be normal. Undt zen you vill blame ze Jews."

Dirty Laundry

You will be shocked-shocked, I say, to learn that actually doing your job can get you fired at the U.N.
Fresh allegations of corruption within the United Nations have surfaced in a confidential audit report that claims the 2003 election of the current chief of the U.N. weather agency was manipulated.

The report, obtained by The Associated Press on Frieday, centered around payments to government delegates at the Geneva-based World Meteorological Organization, which coordinates the study of the world's weather and climate.

WMO instructed Maria Veiga of Portugal, an independent auditor who wrote the report, to investigate the financial irregularities in 2003. Three years later, she was fired for what the agency descrobed as "serious misconduct."
Only at the United Nations can you be canned for being too honest.

The Twinkie Prosecution

The UK is a basket case waiting to happen.
SOCIAL workers are placing obese children on the child protection register alongside victims thought to be at risk of sexual or physical abuse.

In extreme cases children have been placed in foster care because their parents have contributed to the health problems of their offspring by failing to respond to medical advice.

The intervention of social services in what was previously regarded as a private matter is likely to raise concerns about the emergence of the "fat police".
So how are such cases judged? Does giving your kid a candy bar get you less time than allowing him or her to have a cheeseburger?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Leave The Boy Alone

Dad sez: "back off."
President George W. Bush's father accused the news media of "personal animosity" toward his son and said he found the criticism so unrelenting he sometimes talked back to his television set.

"It's one thing to have an adversarial relationship-hard-hitting journalism-it's another when the journalists' rhetoric goes beyond skepticism and goes over the line into overt, unrelenting hostility and personal animosity," former President George Bush said.
He's right, of course-they do hate his son's guts. Which means they will be deeply saddened when they don't have Jr. to kick around anymore. I expect them to be oddly silent if a Democrat replaces him.

Remembering The Heroes

It was 40 years ago today.
It was supposed to be a routine launch pad test.

But from the Apollo 1 command module at Pad 34 came a panicked voice saying, "Fire in the cockpit."

Exactly 40 years later, the three Apollo astronauts who were killed in that flash fire were remembered Saturday for paving the way for later astronauts to be able to travel to the moon. The deaths of Virgil "Gus" Grissom, Ed White and Roger Chaffee forced NASA to take pause in its space race with the Soviet Union and make design and safety changes that were critical to the agency's later successes.
"Risk is our business." Truer words were never spoken. God bless all the pioneers who gave their lives so our country can be where it is today.

Angry Hot Planet

Quick! Call Al Gore! He needs to get to the bottom of this!
The planet Mars is undergoing significant global warming which supports many climatologist's claims that the Earth's modest warming during the past century is due to a recent upsurge in solar energy, says James M. Taylor, of the Heartland Institute.

For three Mars summers, deposits of frozen carbon dioxide near the planet's south pole have shrunk from the previous year's size, suggesting a climate change in progress, says Taylor. Furthermore, documented changes from 1999 to 2005 show that Mars' climate is presently warmer, and perhaps getting warmer still, than it was several decades or centuries ago.

But there are not a lot of anthropogenic gas emissions on Mars, so what internal dynamic is warming the planet and what does it mean for Earth? According to researchers:

-At least 10 to 30 percent of global warming measured during the past two decades may be due to increased solar output rather than factors such as increased heat-absorbing carbon dioxide gas released by various human activities.

(snip) Furthermore, the warming of Mars adds another level of uncertainty to claims that the Earth's modest recent warming is a result of human activity.
Maybe somebody needs to tell the Martians to stop using their SUVs...

Bookin' From Beantown

I guess living in one of the most liberal states in the country isn't what it's cracked up to be.
BOSTON-Young adults are earning their college degrees in Massachusetts and leaving the state, taking their eager work ethic, vitality and young families with them, according to a new study.

The entire Massachusetts population has dwindled over the past 14 years, but young adults between the ages of 25 and 35 are disappearing the fastest, according to a study out of the Carsey Institute at the University of New Hampshire.

And they are not just leaving the Bay State. All six New England states rank in the top 10 in the country when it comes to losing members of Generation Y.
If this keeps up, the only people that will be left will be old white liberals like Ted Kennedy and John Kerry...oh, wait.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Color By Degree

Not surprisingly, higher education still isn't getting it when it comes to real equality.
With Michigan's new ban on affirmative action going into effect, and similar ballot initiatives looming in other staes, many public universities are scrambling to find race-blind ways to attract more blacks and Hispanics.

At Wayne State University Law School in Detroit, a new admissions policy, without mentioning race, allows officials to consider factors like living on an Indian reservation or in mostly black Detroit, or overcoming discrimination or prejudice.

Others are using many different approaches, like working with mostly minority high schools, using minority students as recruiters, and offering summer prep programs for promising students from struggling high schools. Ohio State University, for example, has started a magnet high school with a focus on math and science, to help prepare potential applicants, and sends educators into poor and low-performing middle and elementary schools to encourage children, and their parents, to start planning for college.
By hook or by crook, they're going to fulfill their requirements for diversity even if it kills them. After all, what are they expected to do-make students succeed on their own merits? Perish the thought!

"I'm Warning You..."

Oooh! A threat!
The Rev. Al Sharpton yesterday threatened to again seek the Democratic presidential nomination unless current contenders, including four senators he visited on Capitol Hill, commit to focusing attention on civil rights issues.

Mr. Sharpton, a New York-based activist and perennial candidate for various posts, said strong attention must be placed on affordable housing, access to wealth, retirement security, health care and education.

"If somebody picks up a strong agenda, I won't. But if not, maybe, and we'll see or we should see by late spring or the summer if someone does," Mr. Sharpton said.
The bigwigs in the Democratic Party should consider themselves lucky. If there wasn't an election year coming up, Al would be suing them instead.

Girl Scouts go Home

Some people just don't like cookies.
Some people shake their head at buying Girl Scout cookies. But an elderly woman in the far southern reaches of St. Louis shook a shotgun, police say.

Police say that shortly before 6:30 p.m. on tuesday, an 8-year-old girl was going door-to-door on her block-the 4800 block of Hamburg Avenue-with her father, 45, trying to sell the cookies.

They knocked on the door of one house, police say, and were told to go away. But the man rang the bell a second timepwhereupon a 78-year-old woman answered the door with a shotgun in hand.
I knew the Girl Scouts were all just part of a larger plot. Next come the lemonade stands...

Doughnut Daze

Now this is jut so wrong.
DURHAM, N.C. (AP)-That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter tase of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivelant of about two cups of coffee.
As if I didn't already need a reason to stay up all night. This guy is going to get filthy rich.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Hot Pocket

As any good liberal will tell you, Bush has made the world less safe. Except for the Russians.
It was one of the most serious cases of smuggling of nuclear material in recent years: A Russian man, authorities allege, tried to sell a small amount of nuclear-bomb grade uranium in a plastic bag in his jacket pocket.

The buy that took place last summer, it turned out, was a setup by Republic of Georgia authorities, with the help of the CIA. Their quiet sting operation-neither U.S. nor Georgian officials have publicized it-is an unsettling reminder about the possibility of terrorists acquiring nuclear bomb-making material on the black market.
Shoot, the way things are in the Putin Empire, er, former Soviet Union, the stuff will be available on Ebay soon...

It's For The Children

Oh, how I love irony.
Dozens of street children have invaded a five-star hotel food tent and feasted on meals meant for sale at the World Social Forum in Kenya's capital.

The hungry urchins were joined by other participants who complained that the food was too expensive at the annual anti-capitalist get together.

The police, caught unawares, were unable to stop the free-for-all that saw the food containers swept clean.

The gathering in Nairobi is discussing social problems, including poverty.
"You can't have your pudding until you've swallowed our socialism! How can you have pudding without any socialism?"

All Creatures Great And Dead

PETA: People For The Ethical Torture of Animals.
In a trial to determine the guilt of innocence of People for the Ethical treatment of Animals workers Adria Hinkle of Norfolk and Andrew Cook of Virginia Beach, the answers potential jurors offered were important to the case, according to lawyers for the prosecution and defense.

The pair are being tried together this week in Hertford County Superior Court on 21 counts of felony animal cruelty, seven counts of littering and three counts of obtaining property by false pretenses.

Ahoskie Police say that on June 15, 2005, the two were arrested after officers ovserved them dump several bags of dead animals into a grocery store trash container. Police said they also found more dead animals in the pair's van and a digital camera with images of living and dead animals.
Every time I bite into a cheeseburger, I'm going to think warm thoughts of these two cretins getting the same punishments they would demand for the rest of us evil animal eaters.

When Pigs Don't Fly

I guess the river isn't the only thing that's yellow in China.
China Central Television said it would ban all verbal and visual pork references from advertisements during Lunar New Year celebrations next month, the Wall Street Journal reported. This week, the network banned a TV ad from Nestle SA featuring a smiling cartoon pig and the message, "Happy new pig year."

CCTV's ad department said the regulations are intended to avoid offending Muslins, who consider pigs unclean animals. China's 20 million Muslims comprise less than 2 percent of the population, the Journal reported.

"China is a multiethnic country," the network said in a notice. "To show respect for Islam, and upon guidance from higher levels of the government, CCTV will keep any pig images off the screen."
There are two billion Chinese. That's a lot of sweet and sour pork to have to hide.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Free As A Bird

Pineapple Face is going home.
The defense attorney for Manuel Noriega says the former Panamanian dictator is to be released from a Miami prison in September. Lisa Ferdinando reports from Miami.

Noriega has been in U.S. custody since surrendering 17 years ago during the U.S. invasion of Panama.

He is currently serving a 30-year sentence for drug trafficking and money laundering.

"He has now come to the point where he has served what is known as his mandatory release time, which means the government must release him from custody on September 9th this year," said Frank Rubino, Noriega's attorney.
Well, I'm sure he'll be up and running cocaine in no time.

Peanut Brittle's Bruised Ego

Oh, grow up, Peanut Boy.
WALTHAM, Mass. (Jan 24, 2007): Jimmy Carter defended his controversial book yesterday, telling a predominantly Jewish university that his goal was to revive Middle East peace talks and that attacks on his character had hurt him and his family.

Jewish groups have expressed outrage at "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid," arguing that its comparision of Israel's treatment of Palestinians with South Africa's reviled apartheid system of racial segregation could undermine perceptions of Israel's legitimacy.

The former U.S. president, in his first direct address to Jewish Americans on his book, said the title referred to human rights in the Palesinian territories, not in Israel.

He said the word "apartheid" was intended to provoke debate on the rights of Palestinians, who he said were being treated unfairly by Israel.
Yes, Israel is being so mean to those poor people who want to blow themselves up for Allah...wotta twit.

Three Cheers For Stupidity

This is getting ridiculous.
Student fans at recent Baraboo High School athletic games have been truing to sneak a few cheers with double meanings past officials, leaving administrators tightening enforcement of WIAA tules and some students and parents wondering what's wrong with a little team spirit.

One banned cheer in particular, where students chant "U.S.A.," brought parent Mary Williams to the Baraboo School Board last week asking why students couldn't have a voice at athletic events.

Even after learning that the chant had a second meaning to many students-an acronym not printable in a family newspaper-Williams said that only applied to overly-sensative ears.

"Any cheer you can come up with, if you want, can be perceived differently. In my opinion, it stands for U.S.A.," she said.
I've got a few "Cheers" of my own that are unprintable in family newspapers for the anal types of the world who want to ruin life for the rest of us.

He's Out

Well just darn.
WASHINGTON (AP)--Democratic Sen. John Kerry, who fell 118,601 Ohio votes short of the White House in 2004, said Wednesday he will not run for president in 2008.

"We came close...certainly close enough to be tempted to try again," the Massachisetts senator said, recalling his defeat.

"There are powerful reasons to want to continue that fight now. But I have concluded this isn't the time for me to mount a presidential campaign."
He was for running before he decided against it. Hasta la Vista, Lurch.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Lord Of The Closet

Oh, I can't wait to see how South Park deals with this.
TOM Cruise is the new "Christ" of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.

The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been "chosen" to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in the future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church's top levels, said: "Tom has been told he is Scientology's Christ-like figure.

"Like Christ, he's been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right."
And so it came to pass in those days that the god Tom did receive much adulation in the mental asylum, and it was good.

He Was Born A Poor Black Child

A liberal finds out the hard way how "Diverse" his party really is.
As a white liberal running in a majority African American district, Tennessee Democrat Stephen I. Cohen made a novel pledge on the campaign trail last year: If elected, he would seek to become the first white member of the Congressional Black Caucus.

Now that he;s a freshman in Congress, Cohen has changed his plans, He said he has dropped his bid after several current and former caucus members made it clear to him that whites need not apply.

"I think they're real happy I'm not going to join," said Cohen, who succeeded Rep. Harold Ford, D-Tenn., in the Memphis district. "It's their caucus and they do things their way. You don't force your way in. You need to be invited."
So if a member of the black caucus wanted to join an "Exclusive" country club they could tell him the same thing? Hmm, very interesting.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Hairy Palms On Broadway

Let's see what those sophisticated New Yorkers (you know, the kind who thumb their noses at those knuckle-dragging flyover country rednecks) are up to this season.
New York-Teenage sex scenes showing a naked breast, masturbation and sadomasochism aren't the usual Broadway fare, but Spring Awakening has become the surprise hit musical of the season while being hailed as tastefully erotic.

Adapted from German playwright Frank Wedekin's then-scandalous 1891 play, Spring Awakening looks at the angst of high school students and their sexual awakening in repressed 19th-century Germany.

With song titles souch as The Bitch of Living and Touch Me, the show opened on Broadway last month to glowing reviews that compared its contemporary rock song score to that of the proze-winning Rent. Its run was recently extended.
I understand the part where the guy dressed as a penis laments his lot in life is especially moving...

My Car Goes Beep Beep Beep

Once again, capitalism solves problems.
Toyota Motor Corp. plans to build a low-cost car undercutting Renault's emerging-market Logan through a "radical" rethink in design and production, the president of the fast-growing Japanese automaker said.

"The focus is on low-cost technology," Toyota president Katsuaki Wanatabe told Britain's Financial Times newspaper in an interview published Monday.

He declined to set a price for a low-cost car but said it would be "at least" less than the Logan.
Meanwhile Islamofascists have teamed up with left-wing environmentalists to produce a rival car. It runs on soy milk and blows up when Jews or other infidels are near.


A bum's shelter is his castle, according to these folks.
A controversial proposal in Daytona Beach, Fla., would create a special village to house hundreds of the county's homeless people, Local 6 News has learned.

Volusia City Council members are expected to consider a plan to build the Tiger Bay Village and treatment facility for the area's 2,500 homeless community.

"Although it is only in its exploratory stages, developers for the Tiger Bay Village say it is invaluable," Local 6's Tarik Minor said.
If it's going to be a village, do they get to have their own elections? "Joe For Mayor-he has less lice than his opponent!"

Master Of His Web Domain

Well, well.
As Dan Balz and I wrote in today's Post, presidential candidates on both sides are focused heavily on bolstering their Internet presence through a variety of new tools, including video, podcasts and even online video chats.

To brainstorm and implement these new innovations, the campaigns are chasing after a small group of people in their 20s and early 30s versed in the language of the new media.

One of the real "gets" on the GOP side of that world is Patrick Ruffini, who served as the Web master of President Bish's 2004 reelection campaign and then served in a similar role at the Republican National Committee. Ruffini gained recognition in national Republican circles for his blog, which was one of the first serious attempts on the Republican side at building an online community.
This is good news for Rudy and shows how seriously he is taking this thing. Ruffini kicks butt.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

No Mats For You

And here we have another example of the tolerant left expressing its support for the troops.
One of our soldiers emailed a retailer in West Allis, Wisconsin, inquiring whether they could ship floor mats to an APO address. The NCO wanted to buy better gear for his troops to sleep on. You won't believe the company's response* (Their email address is included below, if you'd like to let the company know what you think of their business):

From: Sgt. Jason Hess

Sent: Tue. Jan 16 3:25

Do you ship to APO address? I'm in the 1st Calvalry Division stationed in Iraq and we are trying to order some mats but we are looking for who ships to APO first.



Sent: Tuesday, January 16, 2007 9:44 PM

SGT Hess,

We do not ship to APO addresses, and even if we did, we would NEVER ship to Iraq. If you were sensible, you and your troops would pull out of Iraq.

Bargain Suppliers

Apparently, Discount-Mats prides itself on its customer service: "Outstanding Service-As a customer, you're part of our family. You can expect friendly, curteous, responsive service before and after the sale." Unless you're an American servicemember, that is.
I have the feeling somebody in the Cheesehead State is going to be losing a lot of business.

Keep Your Hands To Yourself

"Keep your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty Brit!"
LONDON: A Muslim woman police officer refused to shake hands with London's police chief, citing religious grounds, the Metropolitan Police said on Sunday.

The incident, which occured during a graduation ceremony in December, has led to questions being raised about the officer's ability to fulfill the requirements expected of her. Muslim groups denied her religious beliefs would affect her work.

The woman, whose identity was not revealed, asked to be excused the customary handshake with Metropolitan Police Commisioner Ian Blair, saying her faith prohibited her from touching a man other than her husband or a close relative.

Blair immediately questioned the validity of her request, said a spokeswoman for the police force, Scotland Yard.
Multiculturalism means never having to assimilate. While she might not touch suspects she arrests, she allowed as to how she would participate in beheading them.

After You

You first, pinata head.
CARACAS, Venezuela (AP)-President Hugo Chavez returned to his weekly radio and TV broadcast Sunday, extolling the ideals of socialst thinker Karl Marx and telling U.S. officials to "Go to hell!" for what he called unacceptable meddling in Venezuela's affairs.

Chavez defended his government's effort to establish a socialist model and rejected U.S. concerns over a mesure to grant him broad lawmaking powers, saying: "Go to hell, gringos! Go home!"

The National Assembly, controlled by the president's political allies, is expected to give final approval this week to what it calls the "enabling law," which would grant Chavez authority to pass a series of laws by decree during an 18-month period.
Hugo, I have the feeling you will be feeling the flames long before anybody in the USA does.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Heresy Of Being Un-P.C.

The first commandment of politically correct weather reporting is, thou shalt not question global warming.
James Spann is used to covering storms.

Not being in the middle of one.

But the ABC 33/40 meteorologist finds himself at the center of the global-warming controversy after the Internet site The Drudge Report posted a link to comments Spann made on his weather blog Thursday night.

"Everything kind of exploded," Spann said Friday. "Writing stuff like that is something I always do, but when Drudge links to it, it just brings the world to you all of a sudden."

All that controversy is over a cyber-disagreement Spann has with a climate scientist from The Weather Channel.

In essence, Spann does not believe that human activity is contributing to global warming and contends that "billions of dollars of grant money is flowing into the pockets of those on the man-made global warming bandwagon." Spann received so much traffic on his site that it was temporarily shut down on Thursday night, he said.
Rule Number One is you do not talk about Global Warming Club. Rule Number Two is, don't talk about Global Warming Club.

And Thus It Begins

She has arrived. Bow your heads, peasants!
NEW YORK (AP)-Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton embarked on a widely anticpated campaign for the White House on Saturday, a former first lady intent on becoming the first female president. "I'm in and I'm in to win," she said on her Web site.

Clinton's announcement, days after Sen. Barack Obama shook up the contest race with his bid to become the first black president, establishes the most diverse political field ever.

Clinton is considered the front-funner, with Obama and 2004 vice presidential nominee John Edwards top contenders. New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, who would be the first Hispanic president, intends to announce his plans on Sunday.
Well, it's nice to know they're championing diversity in this campaign. Now if they would only allow diversity of opinion...

Friday, January 19, 2007

"E's Just Fightin'"

Come on, Fidel. Just die already, why don't you?
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil-Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said friday that Fidel Castro is "battling for his life" and said he spoke with the Cuban leader for nearly half an hour several days ago.

Chavez, a close ally and admirer of Castro, compared Castro's attempt to recover from an unspecified medical condition to efforts in the 1950s, when Castro was a guerilla in Cuba's eastern mountains fighting the government he would overthrow.

"Fidel is in the Sierra Maestra again, battling for his life," Chavez said after attending a summit of South American leaders in Rio.
Phooey. Fidel is fighting because, although he might be a Communist, he knows where he's going to end up.

Me So Stupid

The guys who came up with this study need to have their heads examined.
This one is really waaaay too funny, and will definitely require all drinking vessels, flammables, and sharp objects be safely stowed.

Psychology Today magazine has a long study published in its January/February issue about the differing mindsets and personalities of conservatives and liberals. Who do you think the report praised, and who did it slam? Which ideological group was perceived as smarter, and which was considered more insecure?

If you're having a hard time answering these questions, read this (emphasis mine throughout). However, please fasten your seatbelts, for you are all about to be greatly insulted by one of America's leading psychology periodicals.

"Liberals have more books, and their books comver a greater variety of topics." And that's just a start. Multiple studies find that liberals are more optimistic. Conservatives are more likely to be religious. Liberals are more likely to like classical music and jazz, conservatives, country music. Liberals are more likely to enjoy abstract art. Conservative men are more likely than liberal men to prefer conventional forms of entertainment like TV and talk radio. Liberal men like romantic comedies more than conservative men. Liberal women are more likely than conservative women to enjoy books, poetry, writing in a diary, acting, and playing musical instruments."
I must be dumber. I can't understand what these idiots are talking about.

That Pesky Document

Constitution? What Constitution?
Responding to questions from Sen. Arlen Specter at a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on Jan. 18, Gonzales argued that the Constitution doesn't explicitly bestow habeas corpus rights; it merely says when the so-called Great Writ can be suspended.

"There is no expressed grant of habeas in the Constitution; there's a prohibition against taking it away," Gonzales said.

Gonzales's remark left Specter, the committee's ranking Republican, stammering.
He may be technically correct, but it's just one more example of the dismal communications skills of this administration. 2009 can't come soon enough as far as I'm concerned.

Disorder In The Court

The Hugo Chavez of Africa's extreme makeover is taking its toll on his country.
Zimbabwe's justice system, once considered a model for the rest of Africa, has collapsed after being starved of funds by President Robert Mugabe's government, one of the country's most senior judges has claimed.

In an unprecedented attack on the government by the judiciary, Judge Rita Makarau told an audence of officials of the ruling Zanu-PF and diplomats that the justice system was so corrupt it undermined the country's democracy.

She alleged that senior staff at the justice ministry were assisting litigants "with long delayed judgements, for a fee".
If Mugabe stays in power, they and the rest of Zimbabwe's population will have to wait a lot longer for justice of any kind.

Politically Correct Tragedy

As any good health nazi will tell you, asbestos is evil. Even when it could have worked.
In the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, I suggested in this coloumn on Sept. 14, 2001 that many lives could have been saved if asbestos fireproofing had been used in the World Trade Center.

Though controversial at the time, my view has gained in validity since then, according to "Eco-Freaks" (Nelson Current, 2006), a new book by John Berlau.

(snip) Berlau's report of the post-Sept. 11th fireproofing testing by NIST underscores the chilling possibility that the Sept. 11 WTC building collapses may have been delayed if not preventable had asbestos fireproofing been used.
That would have been common sense. But the liberals who got asbestos banned don't like common sense. It keeps proving them wrong.

You're Lazy, And You're Still Fired

Lazy is as lazy does.
DES MOINES, Iowa No work no pay.

Unemployment benefits are being denied to an Iowa hotel worker who was fired for using her employer's computer to keep a journal of her efforts to avoid work.

A supervisor found the journal late last year and fired Emmalee Bauer for misuse of company time.

The journal was entered into evidence at a recent state hearing dealing with Bauer's request for unemployment benefits. Bauer testified the journal was intended to help her deal with anxiety and frustration.

Administrative Law Judge Susan Ackerman denied Bauer's request. The judge says the journal demonstrated Bauer's refusal to work, as well as here "amusement at getting away with it."
Well, now I know why Jack Bauer never talks about his relatives...

Girls Gone AWOL

I know being pregnant can make women have mood swings, but this is ridiculous.
AMERICAN FORK, Utah-Three pregnant teens living in a group home whacked the director in the head with a frying pan, tied her up and then fled in a stolen minivan, police said.

The director, who was tied up with power cords Tuesday, eventually broke free and called police, police Sgt. Shauna Greening said. She also freed another pregnant teen tied up in the attack, she said.

Authorities believed the teens-two 15-year-olds and one 16-year-old-left the state and a search was under way. Police said the teens also stole the director's purse, checkbook, credit cards, cell phone and video camera.
When these chicks are in prison and their kids come to visit them down the road, will they tell them do as we say, not as we hit upside the head?

Target Practice

Nothing to see here, move along...
(Kyodo)-While China made no official comment on Friday morning about concerns expressed by the United States over a recent anti-satellite weapons test, a Chinese newspaper ran a story saying that Washington was being too nervous about Chinese military development.

The Global Times, a newspaper under the Chinese Communist Party's organ People's Daily, quoted a Chinese military expert as saying that the United States was "being a little bit nervous" in a story headlined, "Unreasonable thoughts by U.S. over China's anti-missile weapons."

"In terms of technology, attacking a satellite in space is normal technology," the paper quoted an official of the China Society of Military Sciences as saying.

"But I would like to emphasize that China's space quest is a peaceful one," the official said. "Up until this moment, China has not carried out space military activities."
Well, then I hope they don't mind if we test our missiles on one of their satellites. The problem with shooting down one Chinese satellite, however, is that an hour later you want to shoot down another one...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Hillary's Hit List

It looks like the Beast is moving in for the kill.
Are the American people ready for an elected president who was educated in a Madrassa as a young boy and has not been forthcoming about his Muslim heritage?

This is the question Sen. Hillary Rodham's camp is asking about Sen. Barack Obama.

An investigation of Mr. Obama by political opponents within the Democratic Pary has discovered that Mr. Obama was raised as a Muslim by his stepfather in Indonesia. Sources close to the background check, which has not yet been released, said Mr. Obama, 45, spent at least four years in a so-called Madrassa, or Muslin seminary, in Indonesia.

"He was a Muslim, but he concealed it," the source said. "His opponents within the Democrats hope this will become a major issue in the campaign."
Ah, those tolerant Deomcrats. They're so charming when they eat their own.

Smack Me

Are the days of being taken to the woodshed coming to a close?
SACRAMENTO-The state legislature is about to weigh in on a question that stirs impassioned debate among moms and dads: Should parents spank their children?

Assemblywoman Sally Leiber, D-Mountain View, wants to outlaw spaning children up to 3 years old. If she succeeds, California would become the first state in the nation to explicitly ban parents from smacking their kids.

Making a swat on the behind a misdemeanor might seem a bit much for some-and the chances of the idea becoming law appear slim, at best-but Leiber begs to differ.

"I think it's pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child 3 years old or younger," Leiber said. "Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a 6-month old or a newborn?"
No, Ms. Leiber, but it sure sounds like some politicians need a butt-whippin'. And the lunacy of the nanny staters continues.

Hold The Caviar

I never thought I'd ever agree with anything the French did.
The French, it would seem, have forgotten one of the cardinal lessons of their history: provoke the Russians at your peril.

Smarting at last week's detention in Courchevel of the ogliarch Mikhail Prokhorov as part of an inquiry into an alleged prositution ring, Russia's super rich are boycotting the exclusive resort in protest at the authorities' conduct.

Residents of Rublyovka, Moscow's wealthiest district, announced the news in a letter to the Russian media. About 90 per cent of reservations for the March holidays have been cancelled as a result, the residents claimed.
Ex-commie snobs versus French snobs. What is the world coming to?

The Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

Once a terrorist, always a terrorist.
An Arab who converted to Judaism and moved from the PA to Haifa was indicted Thursday for conspiring with the enemy and contacting a foreign agent-his brother, an Islamic Jihad terrorist.

Assaf Ben-David, born Hussam Hafez Mahmoud Suafta, converted to Judaism and left the PA-controlled village of Tubas, near Shechem once he received Israeli citizenship. He recently returned to Islam after living for years as a Hareidi-religious Jew and is accused of trying to pass materials for manufacturing explosives to his brother Salah, a member of the Islamic Jihad terrorist group.

Salah was killed on December 20th in clashes with the IDF in Tubas before he could receive the nitric acid from his brother.
Sounds like Mission: Impossible, Islamist style. Thankfully, none of them seem as bright as Jim Phelps.

"We're Just Here To Help"

Well, isn't this neighborly of them.
BAGHDAD (AFP)-Tehran's ambassador to Baghdad said that Iran stood ready to help train and equip Iraqi security forces to combat what he called terrorism.

Speaking after talks with Iraqi Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari, Hassan Kazemi demanded to be shown "any shred of evidence that Iran is working to destabilise Iraq," as the United States alleges.

"We are working for, not against, security in Iraq, because we know that insecurity justifies maintaining foreign troops in the country," Kazemi told reporters.

"Iran is disposed to helping to train and equip Iraqi security forces to combat terrorism."
Well, at least they're not asking for protection money.

Pelosi Takes A Pass

Well, so much for the Great Defunding.
Jan. 17, 2007-There may be a growing battle between Congress and the president over the Iraq War strategy, but new House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said she won't block funding for additional troops.

Pelosi's position, revealed in an exclusive interview with ABC News's Diane Sawyer, came a day after a group of senators announced a bipartisan resolution condemning the Bush administration's plan to increase U.S. forces in Iraq by more than 20,000 troops.

While the Senate resolution would be non-binding, it would send a message to the president, and at least a dozen Republican senators have already offered their support.
Sorry, Nancy. You can't want to serve your antiwar cake and then not want to eat your words, too.

Memphis Blues

"How much for the little girl?"
MEMPHIS, Tenn.-A sheriff's department employee is being charged with paying a woman for sex with her 8-year-old daughter, and a special judge was called from out of town for a bond hearing Wednesday because the accused is engaged to a Memphis judge.

Wayne Logan appeared in court Tuesday for a preliminary hearing on child rape charges, but all of the county's judges who preside over such matters recused themselves.

"The General Sessions judges have all agreed that it would be inappropriate for any of them to hear Mr. Logan's case based on Mr. Logan's relationship with a sitting General Sessions judge. His fiancee is a General Sessions judge," defense lawyer Leslie Ballin told WMC-TV.
The woman would have waited for her daughter to start inbreeding like the rest of the family, but she needed the rent money for her trailer.

Thick As His Bricks

I hate taxes as much as the next guy, but this isn't quite the way to go about showing it.
CONCORD, N.H.-A man who has holed up with armed supporters in his cement-walled house for most of his tax evasion trial was found guilty Thursday, along with his wife, of failing to pay federal income taxes for a decade.

Ed Brown has said he will defend himself against capture if necessary.

U.S. Marshall Stephen Monier said Thursday that members of his staff continued talking by telephone with Brown and had no plans to confront him.
If he wants to protest, let him do it in a way that doesn't make him look like a loon. Would-be tax protesters, please take note.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Mr. Frankenweenie Goes To Washington

I say go for it.
WASHINGTON (AP)-Comedian Al Franken has reached out to Democratic lawmakers from Minnesota in recent days, seeking advice on a possible Senate run against Republican Sen. Norm Coleman next year.

Franken, a veteran of "Saturday Night Live" and radio talk show host, told The Associated Press on Wednesday that he's called all of the Democrats in the delegation.

"I didn't call Coleman," he deadpanned. "I want mainly to touch base and get advice and counsel on certain issues."
We already have plenty of goofballs in the Senate. I guess one more won't matter. Run, Al, run!

Le Royal Screwup

Oh, my. It doesn't get much better than this.
Segolene Royal, the doyenne of the French Left, suffered an embarrassing blow to her image as a presidential candidate yesterday when she was accused of tax dodging.

Faced with taunts about being a "gauche caviar", the Gallic equivalent of a champagne socialist, she denied being rich, instead claiming that she was just "well off".

Not only does she part-own three impressive homes with her boyfriend, Francous Hollande, the Socialist Party chairman, but the couple have set up a real estate company to manage the properties.

This has enabled them to reduce the amount they pay in limpot de solidarite sur la fortune (ISF), a notoriously high tax imposed on anyone with assets of more than 500,000 (pounds).
Just remember the old motto: Some leftists are more equal than others.

Drug Dealers For Bush

And here we have one more way to ask Bushbots why they think their guy is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Amid protests and a flurry of last-minute efforts by congressmen, two border patrol agents are scheduled today to begin long prison sentences for shooting and wounding a Mexican drug smuggler who was granted full immunity to testify against them.

In an interview with WND, an angry Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif., called President Bush a "disgrace" for refusing to pardon Jose Alonso Compean and Ignacio Ranos, wh were sentenced to 12 years and 11 years, respectively, in October. With hopes for a presidential pardon dwindling, the lawmakers had requested that Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez assist in a motion to keep the agents free on bond during the appeals process. But late yesterday, U.S. District Judge Kathleen Cardone in El Paso, Texas, ruled the men must surrender to federal marshals at 2 p.m. Mountain Time today.

"This is the worst betrayal of American defenders I have ever seen," Rohrabacher said of the president. "It's shameful this was done by someone who is in the Republican Party. He obviously thinks more about his agreements with Mexico than the lives of American people and backing up his defenders."
Well, maybe when Bush goes back to Crawford in '09 he can deal with the flood of illegal immigrants and drug smugglers that will be crossing his property because of all the border patrol agents who will have quit in disgust by then.


The next time you hear somebody say they've got a cool parent, make sure they don't really mean it.
A Cranberry man who is charged with hiding his mother's body in a freezer so he could continue to collect her monthly retirement checks is going to trial.

At a preliminary hearing today for Philip Faxon Royer, Jr., police officers recounted how the unemployed former teacher had stuffed the body of his 90-year-old mother into a cooler, then had it frozen in a basement freezer.

Mr. Royer, 57, of Vancivort Drive, was held for court on misdemeanor counts of abusing a courpse and criminal attempt at theft by deception. District Judge Kelley Streib of Cranberry also held him for carrying a firearm without a license, a separate case that stemmed from Mr. Royer being stopped for a traffic violation by a police officer who noticed a handgun in a homemade cardboard holster.
Kind of gives new meaning to asking your Mom to chill out...

EBay Baby

Eugenics Wars, here we come.
A British woman will be impregnated with a "designer baby" in the next few months, it has been revealed.

She will be the first British woman to undergo treatment at a U.S. embryo bank that allows would-be parents to select their child's charateristics over the Internet.

Customers can choose egg and sperm donors after seeing pictures of them and receiving details of their medical history, education and family background.
Well isn't that nice. Isn't this how Khan Noonian Singh was born?

Suddenly Supervised

George Bush accountable? Who'd have thunk it?
The White House has agreed in a significant policy reversal to place its controversial domestic spying programmed under court supervision.

President George W. Bush will not reauthorise the "Terrorist Surveillance Programme", which allows the National Security Agency to intercept the communications of Americans suspected of links to al-Qaeda or affiliated groups without a court warrant.

"The president has determined hot to reauthorise the Terrorist Surveillance Program when the current authorisation expires," Alberto Gonzales, US attorney-general, wrote in a letter to Congressional committees.

"Any electronic surveillance that was occuring as part of the Terrorist Surveillance Program will now be conducted subject to the approval of the foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court."
But-but I thought Bush was a King who could do whatever he wanted in the name of fighting terrorism, and if you dared question his judgement, you were a traitor who supported al-Qaeda! Watch for falling debris from the heads of Bushbots as they explode.

The Lord Of War

Guess which country is selling its stuff to the bad guys?
The U.S. military has sold forbidden equipment at least a half-dozen times to middlemen for countries-including Iran and China-who exploited security flaws in the Defense Department's surplus auctions. The sales include fighter jet parts and missile compnents.

In one case, federal investigators said, the contraband made it to Iran, a country President Bush branded part of an "axis of evil."

(snip) The surplus sales can operate like a supermarket for arms dealers.
We are our own worst enemy. Feel safer now?

The Naked Truth

I've heard about getting screwed by your lawyer, but this is ridiculous.
PHILADELPHIA-A criminal defense lawyer was arrested after a sheriff's deputy found him naked with a 14-year-old girl in a courthouse conference room, authorities said Tuesday.

Larry Charles, 49, has been charged with solicitation, attempted statuatory sexual assault and related counts, said Lt. Dan Bagnell of the Police Department's Special Victims Unit.

A sheriff's deputy making his rounds in the Criminal Justice Center on Monday afternoon looked into a lawyers' conference room on the third floor and discovered Charles and the girl, Bagnell said.
He was just trying to show her his briefs...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Stripped Of Authority

Let's pray that this doesn't give Nancy Pelosi any ideas.
AN Egyptian ruling party politician started to undress in parliament today in protest at proposed constitutional amendments which perpetuate many of the Egyptian president's vast powers.

In a debate on the amendments, details of which have not been released, member of parliament Mohamed Hussein objected to the article which gives the president the right to dissolve parliament.

"Enough of that, enough. Should I take my clothes off?" he said, using a sarcastic pupular expression used in response to someone's excessive expectations.
Well, if Hillary gets elected, you may see a lot of this here at home. Which is part of the reason why she must be stopped!

"We Are Your Overlords"

I don't know how true this is, but if it is, then some folks in Congress are incredibly thin-skinned.
MANASSAS, Wa., Jan 16/PRNewswire-USNewswire?--The following is a statement by Richard A. Viguerie, Chairman of, regarding legislation currently being considered by Congress to regulate grassroots communications.

"In what sounds like a comedy sketch from Jon Stewart's Daily Show, but isn't, the U.S. Senate would impose criminal penalties, even jail time, on grassroots causes and citizens who criticize Congress.

"Section 220 of S. 1, the lobbying reform bull currently before the Senate, would require grassroots causes, even bloggers, who communicate to 500 or more members of the public on policy matters, to register and report quarterly to Congress the same as the big K Street lobbyists. Section 220 would amend existing lobbying reporting law by creating the most expansive intrusion on First Amendment rights ever. For the first time in history, critics of Congress will need to register and report with Congress itself.
I hope they got lots and lots of space on Capital Hill for all the forms they'd be getting. And for the photos of raised middle fingers.

Public Service Memorial

Meanwhile the Dutch have a different idea.
Amsterdam's red light district is reportedly to receive a bronze statue dedicated to prostitutes around the world.

According to the Dutch agency ANP. sculptress Els Rijerse made the statue at the request of formeer prostitute Mariska Majoor, who a decade ago founded a centre on prostitution in the Dutch capital.

Majoor was quoted as saying by ANP that the statue would be a first of its kind and that it had recieved the blessing of the city authorities.
The statue will be free to the public for general viewing, but if you want to touch it it'll cost $250.

Fooling Around For Life

It's nice to see Michigan has its priorities in order.
In a ruling sure to make philandering spouses squirm, Michigan's second-highest court says that anyone invilved in an extramarital fling can be prosecuted for first-degree criminal sexual misconduct, a felony punishable by up to life in prison.

"We cannot help but question whether the Legislature actually intended the result we reach here today," Judge William Murphey wrote in November for a unanimous COurt of Appeals panel, "but we are curtailed by the language of the statute from reaching any other conclusion."

"Technically," he added, "any time a person engages in sexual penetration in an adulterous realtionship, he or she is guilty of CSC 1," the most serious sexual assault charge in Michigan's criminal code.
Well, at least it'll keep Bill Clinton out of the state.

Apple Vs. The Fruits

Leave it to these morons to make Steve Jobs likeable.
Despite Apple's launch of the eco-friendly iPhone last week, Greenpeace is demanding an environmental revolution that will shake the company to its core.

In his keynote address at MacWorld, Apple's chief executive Steve Jobs said the iPhone would be recyclable and partially solar powered, but the environmental lobby demonstrated near the site of Apple's expo in San Francisco.

Greenpeace activists projected giant imaged of the contaminated Asian scrapyards where the group claims many electronic products, including those made by Apple, end up. The activists projected images onto a wall above an Apple retail outlet of electronics being melted down, taken apart and apparently releasing toxic chemicals.
I wonder how much toxic chemicals groups of lefty whackjobs release when they congregate.

We Will Nannystate No Wine Before Its Time

Jeeze, don't the Food Police have anything better to do?
SANTA ROSA, California-Vintners have been using byproducts from milk, eggs, wheat and even fish guts in the winemaking process for centuries.

But a new federal proposal could require American winereies to disclose such unsavory items-used as "fining" agents to remove grit-as ingredients. The proposal, which could be passed by the end of the year, would require companies to redesign the labels on every bottle to protect people who are allergic to certain foods.

Executives at Sonoma and Napa county wineries and their trade groups say few, if any, wine drinkers suffer allergic reactions from fining agents, which are nearly untraceable by the time consumers uncork or unscrew their bottles. They're rallying against the proposal, which they say would make even the biggest oenophiles turn up their noses.
Somewhere, somebody is always allergic to something. If somebody was allergic to oxygen would we need warning labels when we breathe? Probably.

Dead Man Dictating

He's still almost dead, Jim.
MADRID, Spain (AP)-Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro is n "very grave" condition after three failed operations and complications from an intestinal infection, a Spanish newspaper said Tuesday.

The newspaper El Pais cited two unnamed sources from the Gregorio Maranon hospital in the Spanish capital of Madrid. The facility employs surgeon Jose Luis Garcia Sabrido, who flew to Cuba in December to treat the 80-year-old Castro.

In a report published on its Web site, El Pais said: "A grave infection in the large intestine, at least three failed operations and variious complications have left the Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, laid up with a very grave prognosis."
Yeah, being dead and not admitting it can do that to a guy.

Barack Or Bust?

Not everybody has Obamamania.
Powerful black activists in the U.S. remain surprisingly cool to a White House run by African-American Senator Barack Obama.

At a recent meeting of activists in New York, Rev. Jesse Jackson, the first black candidate to run for president, declined to endorse Obama, saying "our focus now is not on who's running, because there are a number of allies running."

Rev. Al Sharpton, who ran in the 2004 Democratic primaries, said he was considering another presidential run in 2008 and observed about Obama: "Right now we're hearing a lot of media razzle-dazzle. I'm not hearing a lot of meat, or a lot of content. I think when the meat hits the fire, we'll find out if it's just fat, or if there's some real meat there."
Translation: The race hustlers are upset that a guy is running for President who won't need to bow and scrape to them to win votes.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Off With His Head

Now this is just too damn funny.
BAGHDAD, Iraq-Saddam Hussein's half brother and the forner head of Iraq's Revolutionary Court were both hanged before dawn Monday, officials said, two weeks and two days after the former Iraqi dictator was executed in a chaotic scene that has drawn worldwide criticism.

Barzan Ibrahim, Saddam's half brother and former intelligence chief, and Awad Hamed al-Bandar head of Iraq's Revolutionary Court, had been found guilty along with Saddam in the killing of 148 Shiite Muslims after a 1982 assassination attempt on the former leader in the town of Dujail north of Baghdad.

Government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh confirmed the executions, saying those attending the hangings included a prosecutor, a judge and a physician.

He also said Ibrahim's head was severed from his body during his hanging.

"In a rare incident, the head of the accused Barzan Ibrahim al-Hassan was separated from his body during the execution," al-Dabbagh told reporters.
When they said "Bring me his head on a silver platter," they weren't kidding...

Cat Fight

The Democratic primaries are going to be so much fun.
Sen. Hillary Clinton has launched her first direct attack on a potential Democratic presidential rival, ripping John Edwards for criticizing her stance on the Iraq war.

Hillary's jab at Edwards came after the former senator and 2004 vice presidential candidate spoke in New York on Sunday.

Although he didn't mention Clinton by name, his reference was clear when he condemned those who fail to "speak out" against the war, the New York Post reported.

"Silence is betrayal, and I believe it is a betrayal not to speal out against the escalation of the war in Iraq," Edwards told a crowd at Manhattan's Riverside Church.
The Breck Girl versus the Ice Queen. She'll poke yer eye out, kid!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Gimme a P, Gimme a C

Welcome to the weird world of politically correct cheerleading.
WHITNEY POINT, N.Y.-Thirty girls signed up for the cheerleading squad this winter at Whitney Point High School in upstate New York. But upon learning they would be waving their pompoms for the girls' basketball team as well as the boys', more than half of the aspiring cheerleaders dropped out.

The eight remaining cheerleaders now awkwardly adjust their routines for whichever team is playing here on the home court-"Hands Up You Guys" becomes "Hands Up You Girls"-to comply with a new ruling from federal education officials interpreting Title IX, the law intended to guarantee gender equality in student sports.

"It feels funny when we do it," said Amanda Cummings, 15, the cheerleading co-captain, who forgot the name of a female basketball player mid-cheer last month.
Forced equality means never having to admit it doesn't work.

Welcome To Commieville

Castro Jr. wants to welcome you to his gulag, er, neighborhood.
IN a controversial attempt to turn Venezuela into a socialist utopia, President Hugo Chavez is planning to build a network of egalitarian communities without mayors or municipal governments. He declared last week that his new "socialist cities" would be run by "people power."

Chavez told the Venezuelan national assembly that vast tracts of the country's largely unpopulated interior would be used for the construction of new cities, each covering up to 100 square kilometres (38.6 square miles).

He gave few other details at swearing-in ceremonies after his recent re-election other than to advise his critics: "Those of you who want to know what type of socialism I have planned for Venezuela should read Marx and Lenin."
When you hear the phrase "Painting the town red" down in Hugoland, know that they mean it.

All You Need Is Viagra

It's said that if you can remember the Sixties you weren't really there. Which makes me wonder why these folks even bothered.
SAN FRANCISCO-their hair, once a symbol of youthful rebellion, is now mostly gray. Bodies that writhed with wild abandon when a guru invited them to "Turn on...tune in...drop out" now sport stiff knees and age spots.

"How many of you are on acid right now?" rock critic Joel Selvin asked an audience of former hippies who turned out this past week to mark the 40th anniversary of the Human Be-In, the counterculture event that unnoficially launched the Summer of Love. "How many of you are on antacid right now?"
From smoking pot and love beads to Social Security and strained peas. Now when they act dazed and confused at least they've got their age as an excuse.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Ordinary Average Psychopath

It's always the quiet ones.
"The most frightening thing is this is a normal guy," Wehrmeyer said of Devlin. "There was nothing about him that would make you think he was a monster. Which is scary, because it could be anybody. He didn't talk about sex. There was none of that."

"You meet people and the bells go off in your head," Wehrmeyer said. But that wasn't the case with Devlin.

"This was a guy who wouldn't stand out in a crowd, was not loud, was not obnoxious, was just an introverted guy with a little bit of an attitude against all authority, but not much...nothing that would ring any bells."
The difference between normal and nuts can only be skin deep. We see it in our elected officials all the time.

Busted For Backdoor Porn

This is just unbelievable.
Sixteen-year-old Matthew Bandy was about as normal a teenager as you could find. He actually liked hanging out with his family.

"He was a happy-go-lucky kid," said his mother, Jeannie Bandy. "Very personable, and big-hearted. I sound like a boastful mom, but I guess the biggest thing is that he could always make me laugh."

(snip) What was Matthew Bandy accused of? Jeannie and Greg Bandy were shocked to discover that their son was charged with possession of child pornography.

(snip) Police officers stormed into the house with guns pointed. "The first thing I thought was, someone's trying to break in our house," Matthew said. "And then there [were] police officers with guns pointed at me, telling me to get downstairs."

(snip) "When they asked me have you ever looked up or uploaded or downloaded erotic images of minors, I was just taken aback and...I said, 'No,'" says Matthew.

Nevertheless, Matthew did have an embarrassing confession. He had been sneaking peaks at adult erotic photos on the family computer. "I got the Web site from a bunch of friends at school. [It was] just adult pornography...Playboy-like images."

Difficult to admit, but not illegal-or so it seemed, Still, it didn;t look good for Matt, as police confiscated the computer and left the house that December day. A family was shattered.
The moral of this legal horror story? You can go blind for looking at that stuff-and Justice can be blind to the obvious if you get caught.

Super Ronery Rabbits

Mini-Me wants a new addition to the average North Korean diet of tree bark and dirt.
North Korea, the communist state which suffers severe food shortages, has handed a contract to a German man to supply it with his award-winning giant rabbits for the table.

German pensioner Karl Szmolinsky was contacted by the North Korean embassy in Berlin after attracting attention for breeding his country's largest rabbit-robert, a dog-sized beast weighing 23lb.
Shoot, just one of those could feed the entire country for a month-or provide Mini-Me with something to ride in official parades.

Who Would Jesus Vote For?

And here we have another case of why the Republicans are now a minority party.
A prominent Christian leader whose radio and magazine outreaches are solidly in support of biblically-based marriages-and keep in touch with millions of constituents daily-says he cannot consider Arizona Sen. John McCain a viable candidate for president.

"Speaking as a private individual, I would not vote for John McCain under any circumstances," said James Dobson, founder of the Colorado Springs-based Focus on the Family as well as the Focus Action cultural action organization set up specifically to provide a platform for informing and rallying constituents.
Keep it up, guys. You must really be looking forward to President Hillary.

Friday, January 12, 2007

This Explains Everything

Michael Moore must be so proud.
Tehran, Iran, Jan. 12-Iran trumpeted a stunning accusation against the United States on Friday, claiming it had planned the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Centre in New York and the Pentagon outside Washington, D.C.

The Chairman of the Guardians Council Ayatollah Ahmad Jannati described 9/11 as a "puppet show", adding that it had been orchestrated by the Americans themselves.

"They used this event as a pretext in order to create the slogan of fighting terrorism and promoting democracy to carry out an assault on Islamic countries. But the reality is they have been defeated in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, and Lebanon and their slogan has lost its effect", Jannati told worshippers during a sermon in Tehran. His comments were aired on state television.
He's a little late. Our fruitcakes have been saying this for years now.

Acid Tongue Queen

Ugggh. Reason # 125,356,890 why I will never vote Dummycrat.
WASHINGTON-The White House fired back Friday at Democratic Sen. Barbara Boxer's verbal slap at Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, calling the California Democrat's caustic comments about Rice's family life "outrageous."

Boxer lit into Rice on Thursday with a bitter diatribe during a heated line of questioning before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee looking into Iraq policies. At one point, Boxer turned to the broad question of who pays the ultimate price for war. Rice has never married and has no children.

"Who pays the price? I'm not going to pay a personal price. My kids are too old and my grandchild is too young," Boxer said. "You're not going to pay a particular price, as I understand it, with an immediate family. So who pays the price? The American military and their families."
They may have won, but nothing can change the fact that these people were, are, and always will be scum.

He Done Them Wrong

Apparently Nifong can't stand himself anymore.
District Attorney Mike Nifong has requested that he have himself removed from prosecuting the Duke Lacross rape investigation, ABC News has learned.

A source close to the investigation said Nifong sent a letter to North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper asking his office to assume responsibility of the case. Calls to the Attorney General's office and Mike Nifong's office were not yet returned.
Live by the lie, die by the lie.

Knock It Off, Mr. Mullah

Abby Dinnerjacket is being put on notice.
WASHINGTON (AFP)-US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice warned Iran that the United States won't "stand idly by" if Tehran tries to disrupt Washington's renewed effort to stabilize Iraq.

Speaking hours after US troops detained six Iranians in a raid in northern Iraq, Rice said Washington was determined to crack down on Iran's "regional aggression."

Rice declined to comment specifically on the operation in the northern city of Arbil, which came shortly after President George W. Bush announced a new US strategy to end the violence in Iraq that included stepped up moves to counter Iranian and Syrian involvement in the country.
I would imagine that the mullahs are really, really starting to regret that they let the Abby Dinnerjacket Frankenstein they created get as far as he has.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Thieves R Us

These creeps need to be sued for everything they're worth.
SPRINGFIELD, Mo.-A soldier whose stored possessions were sold while he was in Iraq might never recover such treasures as family photos, but offers of help are streaming his way from strangers touched by his plight.

Patrick Rogalin, a 20-year-old Army Reserve specialist, came home in October after a year in Iraq to find that Public Storage Inc. had auctioned off his books, furniture, clothes and everything else he had stored at one of the company's sites near St. Louis.

For what he valued as $8,000 worth of goods, Public Storage initially offered $2,000. On Monday he accepted a settlement of $4,000-but by then his story was on its way to becoming a national news iten, via the Springfield News-Leader and later The Associated Press.

The newspaper received more than 50 calls and e-mails from people wanting to help Rogalin and, in some cases, chiding the storage company.
I would have done a lot more than chide these bastards. But I don't want to wind up in jail with them.

Locker Room Lunacy

Seriously, would Giuliani have allowed this?
In a stunning crackdown, the FDNY has demanded that all personal decorations, including flags and pictures of colleagues killed on Sept. 11, 2001, be removed from lockers.

The controversy began two weeks ago when a sexually explicit slogan was reported at Engine 230 in Brooklyn. In response, FDNY Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta banned all decorations, including American flags, "Support Our Troops" stickers, pictures of family and Mass cards.

Stephen Cassidy, the president of the Uniformed Firefighters Association, said the department has gone too far.

"We're tired of being treated like children," he told WCBS-TV. "It will not continue. If we have to take legal action we will."
Welcome to Bloomberg's New York. Of course it could have been a lot worse for the firefighters. They could have been caught smoking in bars.

Coin Of The Realm

Spies Like Us, Eh?
In a U.S. government warning high on the creepiness scale, the Defense Department cautioned its American contractors over what it described as a new espionage threat: Canadian coins with tiny radio frequency transmitters hidden inside.

The government said the mysterious coins were found planted on U.S. contractors with classified security clearances on at least three separate occasions between October 2005 and January 2006 as the contractors traveled through Canada.

Intelligence and technology experts said such transmitters, if they exist, could be used to surreptitiously track the movements of people carrying the spy coins.
Gret. The next time somebody givew you spare change, make sure they don't have a Canuck accent, eh?

Jumping Jimmah's Ship

Apparently some of Jimmy's friends are finding out what the rest of us knew a long time ago.
WASHINGTON-Fourteen members of a leadership group under former President Carter's think tank resigned Thursday over concerns that Carter's book on the Middle East does not represent "the Jimmy Carter we came to respect and support."

The members of the 200-member Board of Councilors, a leadership advisory group founded in 1987, join a longtime Carter aide, Jewish groups and lawmakers who have publicly criticized the former president's best-selling book "Palestine: Peace, Not Apartheid" for inaccuracies and distorting history.

"It comes to the result of deep soul searching and a tremendous amount of angst," said Steve Berman, a member who was appointed six months ago.
Jimmah lied; their reputations were fried.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

No Hables Accountability

Once again, it's our fault.
Americans are to blame for some illegal immigrants becoming serial crooks because "they're picking up those bad habits of cheating, of drinking and drugs," according to an official of a prominent Latino advocacy organization.

Jesse Diaz of the League of United Latin American Citizens made the claim on Monday during an interview on Dallas talk radio station KRLD, and then repeated them on Tuesday to WFAA-TV.

Diaz was discussing a federal study of 100 illegal immigrants with arrest records. The study found they had each been arrested and released six times on average.

When questioned about how living in America is responisble for them becoming serial lawbreakers, Diaz stood by his remarks, arguing that conservative Catholic values learned in Mexico start to break down once immigrants are in the U.S.
Yes, because Mexico is such a paragon of Catholic values like drug smuggling, corruption, general lawlesness...

O Say Can You Bleed

Free speech, San Fran Whacko style.
Members of the Baker's Dozen, the renowned, all-male a cappella singing group from Yale, are pummeled outside a New Year's eve party after singing "The Star Spangled Banner."

The attackers allegedly include graduates from Sacred Heart Cathedral, one of the city's oldest and best-known private schools.

The attack happens outside the home of two prominent San Francisco police officers-former mayoral bodyguard Reno Rapagnani, now retired, and his wife, Leanna Dawydiak-who were both accused and later cleared of leaking internal SFPD personnel documents during the Fajitagate debacle.
Silly kids. If they'd sung a song about Jihad and performed it for hippies in the park, the peace-loving, tolerant graduates probably would have left them alone.

Nutcase For The Defense

Well. how thoughtful of him.
BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP)-Anti-Abortion extremist James Kopp apologized to the widow of a dictor he killed and chose not to cross-examine her Tuesday after she described how her bleeding husband fell against her when he was shot in her kitchen.

The apology came on the first day of trial as Kopp defended himself against U.S. federal charges he violated the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances act by killing Barnett Slepian, a doctor who provided abortions.

"Mrs. Slepian, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I respect you and your family," Kopp, 52, said in a voice so quiet the rest of the courtroom strained to hear.
Whatever your views on abortion, I think you'll agree that this creep deserves to spend the rest of his life rotting in an eight-by-eight cell.

There Goes De Judge

This is what happens when you realize you've lost.
The Bush administration officially withdrew four of its most controversial nominations to the federal appellate bench yesterday, bowing to the political reality of a Senate Judiciary Committee under the control of Democrats who show no inclination to confirm them.

Signaling at the same time that President Bush is committed to placing more conservatives on the bench, the White House renominated 32 other federal judicial candidates that the previous Senate did not confirm. Bush also nominated a previous candidate for a federal district court to fill one of the four appellate positions.

(snip) The withdrawals provoked rare praise from liberal groups People for the American Way and Alliance for Justice, which had lobbied against many of the administration's judicial nominees. They said that they hope the moves herald a shift in Bush's approach to such appointments.
Whatever capital the President had left he blew last November. I'm betting that when he got reelected, Bush never figured that he'd wind up in the political poorhouse, begging for handouts at this point.

Atomic Ocean

What could go wrong? Constructed by the state nuclear power firm Rosatom, the 144 by 30 metre (472 by 98 foot) ship holds two reactors with ...